Marks that were a stark reminder of what had happened to her and how it could’ve been so much worse.
At first she’d worried that the scrapes would leave permanent scars, but now it didn’t matter. Beauty was only skin deep. There was something so much more precious to worry about. Reflexively her hands touched her abdomen. It was flat and toned, with no evidence that something wonderful brimmed beneath the surface.
She was pregnant.
She didn’t know how or why the tiny baby growing inside of her had chosen now to come to life. This wasn’t the ideal situation to bring a child into, especially when at any moment she or her child’s father could be taking their last breaths. Their child could die before it ever had a chance to really live. Fear touched the back of her throat, like a soft breeze. A gentle reminder that though she was safe at the moment, it could quickly change.
Melina was going to be a mother and though she hadn’t said much to Mac, she was struggling. For the first time in her life she had someone to protect, whose very existence depended on her. It was a heavy burden to bear.
“Not a burden. A blessing,” she whispered to herself.
Yes. The child she carried was a blessing conceived from the love of she and her husband. She couldn’t help remembering the look on Mac’s face when the doctor had revealed the news.
Pure, unadulterated joy.
If she hadn’t been so shocked, she might’ve cried.
Mac wanted children, and now she was going to give him a child. Melina had no idea if she carried a boy or a girl and truthfully, to her it didn’t matter. As long as their child was healthy, that was her only concern.
“What are you doing, doll?”
Mac came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. He pressed a kiss to the side of her neck.
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
His lips continued to nuzzle her neck. Melina shivered at his touch.
“Our baby.”
Slowly, Mac turned her in his arms so that they were facing each other. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he rubbed her check with his thumb.
“Still doesn’t seem real, does it?”
Melina shook her head. “No, it doesn’t.”
“You know I would never let anything happen to either of you, right?”
Mac searched her face, everything in his gaze beseeching her to believe him.
“I know that you will move heaven and hell for me and this baby.”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”
Melina sighed, unsure of exactly how to put into words the tangle of emotions that were plaguing her.
“You can’t protect us from everything.”
There.
She’d said it.
She had spoken into existence every secret terror that had newly begun to steal her happiness.
“I’m trying, Melina.”
There was an undercurrent of anger and frustration in his tone. She recognized it instantly and just as swiftly regretted saying anything. “Just forget it.”
Melina brushed past him and walked into their bedroom. Mac followed her, standing next to the bed as she curled up in the middle.
“What do you want me to say, Melina? That I fucked up? Fine. I admit it. I fucked up. I let someone get too damn close to you and that shit is eating me up inside.”
“I know that and I’m not blaming you. I just …”
Mac sat down beside her. “Then what is it?”
“I don’t want to lose our child.”
“I see,” Mac said simply.
“Do you? It was one thing to deal with all of this when I only had myself to be concerned with, but now we have a baby that can be caught in the crossfire. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to our child.”
Mac took her hand in his. “Neither could I. Do you know how long I lay awake at night staring at you while you sleep? I’m not much of a praying man, doll, but if showing the man upstairs a little reverence will keep the two of you safer than I can, I have no problem with showing a little humility.”
Melina knew how much it took out of Mac to admit that there were some things that were beyond his control. She could see from the tightness of his jaw and the shadows beneath his eyes how their current situation was wreaking havoc on him. The last thing she wanted to do was put anymore burdens on his shoulders.
“Whatever enemies that come against us we can fight, but we have to be able to see them first, Mac.”
“I know and I’m doing what I can on my end.”
Melina touched his face. “I know you are and I’m not blaming you for any of this. I need you to understand that. I’m just saying we could be better prepared if we knew who we needed to protect ourselves from.”
“I have a few suspects in mind.”
Melina raised a brow. “Anything definitive?”
“Not yet, but something is better than nothing.”
“That’s one way of looking at things. Have you checked on your mother and Victoria since all of this went down?”
“I’ve had guards on them around the clock.”
Melina gave her husband a half smile. “That isn’t the same thing. You need to go and see them. No doubt your mother is feeling abandoned.”