The shower water ran and I looked to the clothes on the floor. I had no business touching Shayna’s stuff, but she was in my cabin, in my care. I had every right to spy and snoop. I hooked my finger around her panties and tossed them away. I wasn’t a sicko snooping for something, I wanted information. A woman like Shayna didn’t just hang out with Zander for her own health. Her story went deeper and darker.
I grabbed her jeans and searched the back pockets.
Nothing.
I stuck my hand into the right front pocket.
Empty.
I stuck my hand into the left front pocket.
Bingo.
I felt something small and hard. I took it out and looked into the palm of my hand.
It was a diamond ring, a really nice diamond ring. Beyond that, shit, it was an engagement ring. With initials and some kind of saying. The initials made a little sense though.
I looked to the bathroom door.
The water was still running.
I had dug a little and found something interesting.
Shayna was engaged… to Zander.
14.
(Shayna)
I ran my hands through my hair as the water pounded against me. If it were up to me I would have stayed in the shower for the next ten years. Just to be able to hide somewhere comfortable and then face the music. Whatever the sound was going to be.
But I already knew the ending, didn’t I?
The same ending as Sasha.
She was probably dead by now and I was soon to follow. So I guess in a way I’d end up with her. I’d find her, just in a different time and place. I wasn’t even sure if I believed in that stuff though. All I knew was that reality had my feet on the ground, hot water touching my body, and my heart still racing because of Finn. I ached and throbbed in a way I hadn’t in a long time. The shower was supposed to calm and soothe me, but it did the opposite. Each droplet of water that touched me was instantly compared to Finn’s touch.
He had the roughness of a fighter but yet the gentleness of a lover. My lover. That’s what he was going to be, right? I was going to have to let him inside me. Let him inside in a way that no man had ever been before. And it had nothing to do with love or planning our lives together. Simply put, Finn’s boss wanted a baby and I was supposed to give him one. And my choices were very clear - Finn could do it or some of Fiore’s guys would.
Either way, the thought made me shiver.
I hugged myself and turned, the water hitting the front of my body. Of course I would let Finn in. Who wouldn’t? But to let him in my body with the intentions of getting me pregnant, that was completely something else. Yet I was almost trapped in the situation, unless Finn got us out. He promised he would think of something. And he was right about the timing of things. Even if we had sex tonight and I managed to get pregnant right away, we still had time. Time until my body let it show on a test. Time until my body actually held onto the pregnancy, which was weeks away. So we had time to come up with a plan.
I started to feel a little more relieved.
I turned the water off and grabbed a towel.
I dried my hair and then my body. I wrapped the towel around me and wiped my hand to the mirror. It fogged up again, a little, but I could still see my reflection. Bottom line, we both needed rest for tonight. Whether I was alone in bed or with Finn…
I caught myself smiling.
There was nothing wrong with Finn, at least physically. With his touch, he was perfect. With his tongue kissing my skin, he was perfect. It was when he talked that there were problems. He was arrogant, cocky, and mean. Sometimes he had a look in his eye where sympathy existed, but most of the time, he was the typical fighter. Always looking to do something to someone.
I wanted nothing more than both of us to agree on a plan. Because it was Finn’s life at stake too. Did he really want to have a baby? With me? And then, what, just give that baby up to his boss? To replace a grandchild he lost? None of it made sense, but the world we lived in didn’t make sense. There were no laws and justice was dealt in a way that remained totally unpredictable.
I opened the bathroom door and found Finn sitting on the edge of the bed. Part of me wanted to drop the towel right there and just go at it. Maybe have a little practice at what we were supposed to do. My body was still on fire from his touch and, to be honest, I could have used the distraction from life for a little while. Even just one crazy night.
But then Finn looked at me.
He stood up and put his hand out. The look in his eye had nothing to do with passion or wanting to fuck. He was angry.
His fingers slowly curled open and I sucked in a breath.
Oh, shit.
“Tell me,” he said. “I want to hear you say it.”
“Finn, you have to listen…”
“Just fucking say it. The truth. Right now.”
I hung my head. He found the ring. I had stuffed it in my pocket and left it there. Because it wasn’t supposed to be what it was. I also thought maybe I could pawn it off for some easy cash to stay on the run.
But now Finn found it.
He wanted me to say it.
So I looked at him. Dead in the eyes. I nodded. “Yeah, fine, Finn, you want the truth? I’m engaged to Zander.”
~