Your husband.
I closed my eyes, trying to imagine a future together. But it was useless. I couldn't. He was... a big football war hero. I was just... ordinary. He was wild. I was boring. He was risky. I was safe.
He'd probably already moved on anyway. That's what I told myself to cut the guilt. Even though I knew it was a lie.
He deserved to know I was okay, even if we weren't going to be together. I'd tell him everything. Just one time though. Never again.
This was going to be the last time I spoke to Kyle Connor.
I dialed his number slowly, already imagining how I would feel after I hung up. Sad. Lonely. Hopeless.
But I was determined to get a fresh start.
I would throw the phone out as I debarked the train.
I started making a mental list to keep myself from getting too nervous. I was going to need a new phone. A job. A place to live. A school to transfer my credits to.
I closed my eyes as the phone started to ring, and prayed.
Chapter Eighteen Kyle
I shoved my stuff into the duffle bag, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. I'd come in early to collect my gear. Unfortunately for me, Jason was there, meeting with a sports doctor.
So I got to see the smug ass look on his face as I tucked my tail between my legs and ran. He grinned snidely at me, giving me a thumbs up. I gave him the finger.
Fuck him and his trick knee.
Coach was in his office so I walked swiftly past him. He didn't look up. I was relieved not to have yet another scene on my way out. To freedom. To starting over.
To finding my fucking woman.
My phone vibrated against my thigh and I dropped my bag to get it. I knew it was Belinda before I even looked at the screen. It was an unknown number. A new phone then. Great.
"Bellie?"
Silence.
"Hello Kyle."
Her voice sounded strained. Formal.
"Are you okay? Where are you?"
"I'm... far away. I can't come back. Not for a while."
"Okay, so I'll come to you."
Silence.
"I know about the baby, sweetie. I just want to be with you. Both of you."
"No Kyle. I'm just-I'm just calling to say I'm sorry I didn't tell you. And that I'm keeping the baby."
"Good. Tell me where you are."
Belinda spoke in a rush, as if she was afraid she would lose her nerve.
"You don't owe me anything. I don' expect you to help with this, or any money."
She thought-she actually thought I wanted the easy way out? I started to get angry. Really, really angry.
"Exfuckingcuse me? You think I'm walking away from you? From our child? Hell no!"
"I don't want to force you into anything Kyle-"
"Listen to me Princess. That is my child. And you are my woman. There is no way in hell I am not handling my responsibilities."
She sighed. I could almost see the look on her face. She didn't believe me. She thought she was giving me an easy out. I almost broke the phone in my hand I was squeezing it so hard.
"Maybe when the time comes, I can tell you where I am. Just live your life Kyle, this doesn't have to ruin it. I won't be the cause of that."
She was going to hang up. I could feel it. I made a last ditch plea to get her to see reason.
"Bellie... please. I love you! Let me be there for you!"
"Goodbye Kyle."
That was the loudest click of my life.
"BELINDA!"
I had the sudden urge to throw my phone. I wanted to break stuff. I wanted to smash something.
"God dammit!"
I cursed and tried the number again. No answer. I tried again. This time someone answered and hung up immediately.
Real nice Bellie.
I clenched my jaw, heading for my car. If she thought it was going to be that easy, she had another thing coming. I always handled my shit. And this was more important than anything I'd ever done before.
I was coming for her. I was going to search high and fucking low until I had my woman back in my arms. I would never, ever stop trying until I found her.
Hold tight, I'm coming for you baby girl.
Belinda
"This is Marta's Organic Artisanal Cheese Shop..."
We walked past a classy looking shop with gorgeous blocks of cheese that were artfully displayed on thick slabs of wood. I didn't eat cheese, but if I did, I would be inside that place in two shakes.
"And this is Cheese and Olive-also artisanal..."
"How many artisanal cheese places are there?"
Betsy laughed, slinging her arm around my back.
"Loads of them. And wine shops, cafes, boutiques..."
"All organic?"
"Most of them. People here take Mother Earth very seriously."
I squeezed my friend affectionately.
"I can see why you moved here."
I smiled but it faded quickly. I felt terrible. As if I had done something wrong.
"Hey little mama, why so glum?"
"Are you reading my aura?"
Betsy stopped walking, placing her hands on her temples.
"Anything?"
She shook her head solemnly.
"Sadly, I am without psychic abilities."