"He's not mad at us, it's her. She fucked up big time."
He grinned stupidly at me. I had the sudden urge to wipe the grin off his face. Bellie was in trouble. Maybe that's why she hadn't called.
"He just can't get his baby girl out here to do drills. So we get it. Shit runs downhill my friend."
I was getting a bad feeling. A really, really bad feeling. Maybe she was hurt or sick.
Maybe she needed me.
"How do you know?"
"I overheard him arguing with his wife on the phone. Sounded like his perfect little angel is knocked up. They have her caged up in the house under lock and key."
"WHAT?"
"Yeah, can you believe it? She's got a bun in the oven. That girl looks pristine. Totally untouched-not that she's not seriously fucking touchable. I mean have you see those ti-ow man that fuckin' hurts!"
I stared at Louis, my fingers biting into his arm. My lips were tight as I answered him.
"Yes, I can believe it."
It started to rain as I let go of Louis's arm. I looked around at the field, my mind racing.
I was stunned. She'd lied to me about the pill. My perfect angel had been keeping secrets. And now she was in trouble because of it. But all of that was overshadowed by one, huge, amazing, mind-bending fact.
Belinda was having my baby.
I started to grin, the rain washing the mud off my face. Suddenly it felt like the sun came out, even though it was raining cats and dogs. I felt like doing the touchdown shuffle.
I was gonna be a daddy.
Belinda
I rolled to the side, staring out the window into the darkness. I was lying on my back in my single sleeper room while the train rattled through the desert. It was a tiny bed that formed when the two seats were folded down flat. The porter had laid a mattress and two pillows on top of it after dinner. It was surprisingly comfortable, but I still couldn't seem to sleep.
So far, the ride had been beautiful.
Betsy had gotten my ticket for me and everything. All I had to do was call and she'd had me picked up and taken to the station. I'd walked out the door without a backward glance.
For a space cadet, Bets was amazing under pressure.
She was saving my life. My baby's life.
Providing safe haven.
I'd never taken a train over night, let alone over three nights. That's how long it took to get from California to Woodstock, New York. I'd been too nauseous for the bus, and it was too risky to fly at this stage of the pregnancy.
So here I was. Riding the rails like they used to in the old days. I wasn't the only one traveling this way either. Older couples, a few young families, some young guys with beards who were traveling from Portland. Everyone was very friendly, wanting to chat. But I was too sad to take part in the social niceties.
I rolled to my side, letting my eyes trace the edges of the dark trees as we rode past them. The country was bigger than I'd thought. I mean, I'd seen maps all my life but this was different. I guess you could only really see some of the wild and industrial parts of it this way, the desolate parts that were accessible only by train.
It was strangely reassuring to me that these places still existed.
Someone told me that tomorrow, we might see wild horses. Or bald eagles. And coyotes. I smiled, holding my pillow against my chest. Even with all the heartbreak and uncertainty, I wasn't alone.
I had the life growing inside me. The life I would do anything to protect. The life I had made with Kyle.
I was trying really hard not to think about him.
He probably hated me.
If I was him, I know that I would not be feeling very forgiving. I hadn't asked for any of this. But I should have told him. He fell in love with me under false pretenses.
I had to let him know, if he didn't already.
I'd buy a prepaid cell phone in Chicago during my layover. Then I would call him, let him know I was alright. The little voice inside me piped up. She sounded snarky.
And say what Bellie?
What exactly are you going to tell him?
That you love him? Want to have a baby with him? Marry him?
Because the last time I checked, he hadn't asked.
I reached down towards my belly. It didn't matter. I was going to take care of this baby. I didn't need a man. I didn't need Kyle.
Even though, deep in my heart, I wanted him.
I stared out the window as the sky started to lighten. My eyes were wet but I didn't cry.
I couldn't afford to cry.
I knew that if I started, I might never stop.
Chapter Seventeen Kyle
I lifted my arm and brought it down hard, pounding on the door. The door opened and Belinda's mom stood there, staring at me. She looked like she'd been crying. That stopped my fury in its tracks.
Mostly.
"Kyle? What are you doing here?"
I could see Coach come to stand behind her. My anger returned in an instant. He'd locked up my woman, dammit!
"It's really not a good time Kyle..."
I met his eyes and nodded. His face drained of color as he realized why I was here. Then he walked away.
"Let the boy in."
"Where is she?"