Full Tilt (Full Tilt #1)

Jonah made a sound deep in his chest, and I had to clap my hand over my mouth to keep from doing the same.

“Annnnd we’re done.” Dr. Morrison turned aside to the tray table. His tech bottled and labeled the tiny piece of heart tissue to take to the lab while a nurse busied herself with the incision site. Morrison snapped off his blue latex gloves and threw them in a waste receptacle.

“You did fantastic,” he said, patting Jonah’s leg. “Ah, and here are your parents.” He smiled warmly at Henry and Beverly in the doorway. “We’ve just finished. We should have the results some time tomorrow morning.”

“Wonderful,” Beverly said through a tight, nervous smile. She nodded at me in greeting, then went to Jonah’s side. “How are you doing, sweetheart? You look wonderful.”

“I’m tired,” Jonah said, staring at nothing. “I’d like to get some rest now.”

“Oh.” Beverly swallowed. “But we just got here…”

Henry said, “He needs to rest.” He took hold of his wife by the shoulders. “Come on, Beverly. Everyone. Let’s leave him to sleep. We can visit in a few hours—”

“No,” Jonah said. “In the morning. Come back in the morning.”

“The morning?” Beverly’s hand crept to the neckline of her cardigan.

“Pending the results of several tests, we’re going to keep Jonah overnight,” Dr. Morrison said. “Purely as a precaution.”

No one moved. Glances darted here and there until the doctor cleared his throat and made a firm gesture toward the door. We all shuffled out, and I waited for Jonah to look at me or call me back. He didn’t.

In the hallway, the Fletchers asked questions. Theo answered. Dr. Morrison elaborated. I stood in numb silence, listening to the squeak of rubber-soled shoes on linoleum as nurses passed by. Machines beeped alarms and a voice over an intercom paged a doctor.

“Kacey?”

I jumped. They were all staring at me. Beverly’s smile was a frozen grimace while her eyes melted to panic. “You’ll stay with Jonah after he’s released tomorrow?”

“Of course,” I said, conscious of Theo’s eyes on me. “In fact, I should go home and pack a few things to stay over…”

Theo’s whiskey-colored eyes met mine. In their imploring gaze, I could hear an echo of an earlier conversation.

You’re just going to leave…

I shook my head at him, as if he’d spoken aloud. “I’m going to pack a bag,” I said. “Then I’m coming back. I am…I…”

Then Beverly laid her hand on my arm. “You know, Kacey, I’d love some coffee. Will you join me?”

I sucked in a breath and nodded. “Yes, sure. Of course.”

Her hand still tucked in my elbow, we headed down to the first floor cafeteria. A space I typically associated with school, filled with laughter, shrieks and loud crosstalk. The hospital cafeteria was sparsely populated and quiet as a library. Only a few people occupied tables, eating in silence. One or two patients in wheelchairs sat with nurses or family members.

Beverly took a small table near the window while I bought two cups of coffee. We sat without drinking for a long, silent time, watching little black birds hop around the courtyard outside.

“It is hard for you to be here, isn’t it?” Beverly said after a moment. “It’s hard for all of us, but unlike you, we’ve known Jonah all of our lives. Before the virus. Before the transplant. But you met him only months ago. When he was already sick.”

I nodded.

“And here you are,” she said. “He was sick when you met him, but here you are. That’s an extraordinary thing, I think, to begin so close to the end.”

“I…I’m scared.” I set my coffee cup down before my shaking hands spilled it. “I don’t think I’m strong enough.”

“May I tell you a story, dear?” Her tone meant, I am going to tell you a story and you are going to listen. But I welcomed it. I needed the distraction. I needed someone else’s words to push out the panicky fear that ricocheted around my thoughts like lightning.

“When Jonah was born, I changed. Profoundly. Forever. I think that’s the way it is with every new mother. You spend nine months carrying this little being in you, this little stranger, until finally they’re born, and you see their face…”

Her gazed fixed beyond the window, beyond the little birds, to a moment twenty-six years ago. “When I saw Jonah’s face for the first time it was like seeing someone again after a long absence. Not a meeting, but a reunion.”

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