“I do trust you. My pushing you away was never about mistrusting you. It was me not wanting to hurt you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, since the first moment I saw you. To protect you. To keep you safe.”
She smiled then, her eyes filled with happiness. And God, somehow, even with all the crazy stuff going on in my life, it all boiled down to whether or not Kacey was happy. I wanted to make her happy any way that I could, because that’s what she did for me. Little by little, day by day, like sunlight seeping through the cracks of an abandoned, boarded-up house, Kacey was invading me. Tearing down the shutters, ripping out the boards and letting the light in.
“Come here,” I said.
She wriggled in her sleeping bag for a moment before climbing out of it. My heart stuttered at bare legs, a flash of pink underwear, and the outline of her breasts under her button-down shirt. I held my bag open and she slid in, her body curving perfectly into mine, as right and perfect as our kiss.
She sighed, her breath fluttering as she put her hands on my face. “I’m sorry I left.”
“I told you to go.”
“I should’ve stayed. I never should’ve left at all. And I promise you, Jonah, I’ll never leave you again. Never again.”
“I’m going to leave you,” I said, my voice hardly more than a whisper. The words hung between us, the crux of all our pain and tears and hesitation.
But Kacey smiled—smiled—with brave tears sliding down her cheeks. “Not yet. Not tonight. We might not have months or years, but we have moments. Thousands upon thousands of them. Let’s take each moment, seize it and wring it dry. Okay?”
I gazed down at her. “Okay.”
“This is a good moment,” she whispered.
“One of the best…” I let my head sink down toward hers. Our lips brushed and hers parted for me immediately. Our tongues met and I shuddered as a current raced through me, burning through me like a fuse.
“God,” I whispered against her mouth.
“This,” she breathed back. “This moment.”
She pulled me into her kiss and this one went on and on. She felt perfect beneath me, fit perfectly against me, and our mouths moved in perfect tandem, our tongues sliding and touching so softly. The need that had been growing and simmering between us sparked and caught fire. My hands became greedy. She moaned and pressed herself into my touch, while her own hands roamed—in my hair, down my back, around my waist. She found me hard, and stroked me through my flannel pants.
“Jonah…” She pushed toward me, drawing me close with her leg. “I want to. So much. Can you?”
“Oh, I can,” I said. “And I’m going to.”
She let out a little sound of want into my mouth as I kissed her hard, while my hands sought her breasts under her shirt. The feel of them, the weight of them and her soft skin against my rough palms. All of her, her breath, the scent of her, the way she kissed me… I’d never wanted a woman like this. Ever.
“Don’t stop kissing me,” she whispered against my mouth when I came up for air. “I’ll die if you do…”
My mouth took hers again, while our bodies rocked together, her hips rising to meet mine. I pulled her in tight, grinding down hard, as if we were already naked and I was inside her.
Her fingers struggled with the buttons on her shirt. “Take it off,” she whispered.
I tore it open instead, buttons flying, and she gave a little cry that was half surprise, half want, as her breasts came free. The cold air hardened her nipples immediately and I put my mouth on one, sucking and swirling my tongue. Desire coiled up from my groin to my head. Dizzy with want and need, I moved to the other breast as she arched her back into my mouth.
“Oh God, yes…” Her voice drew out in a hiss and her hand slid under the waistband of my pants. Her fingers closed around my aching erection, stroking me.
“If you keep doing that,” I said, my mouth on her neck, sucking and nipping, “this won’t be a very fun night for you.”
“No,” she said. “You’re going to come with me. We’re going to come together.”
“You’re an optimist.”
“And you’re not naked enough,” she replied. She hauled my T-shirt off and flung it away. Skin to skin, her breasts pressed against my chest. My hands tangled in her hair, holding her head as I kissed the sweet, caramel lusciousness of her mouth.
“I want this…you…” I wanted to feel all her exquisite softness and heat everywhere.
I stripped off my pants and boxers. She wiggled out of her panties and pulled me back to her. Her mouth took mine again and her legs were parting and I was so damn hard…
“Shit, I don’t have anything…”
“My shirt pocket,” she whispered at my neck.
I could’ve wept with relief, but that would’ve taken too long. I fished a condom out of the front pocket of the torn shirt she as still partially wearing and tore off the wrapper. Within seconds, I was ready.