Goddamn I had no idea what the hell had happened or why it had happened, but I loved him so much in that moment, my heart could have burst.
“But Jasmine can too. She’s so small and cute, it’s deceiving how strong she is. And it’s weird how mad she can get. She’s like a little Gremlin; you better not put any water on her because she’ll go crazy,” he went on, smiling at me with affection as he stepped into the room fully, showing off his matching black costume. “But you should know that.”
Paul looked between Ivan and me for a moment before taking a step to the side, away from me.
“I—”
“She’s my partner now, Paulie, and she’s going to keep being my partner. And you know what? I’m not real good with sharing, so it might be a good idea if you got out of here before all those things I had warned you about come true,” Ivan cut him off, as he came to stand at my side.
Ivan didn’t touch me. He didn’t need to. I knew he was there, and he knew I knew that.
That was the thing with us. We understood each other. We knew the length and depth of our trust and loyalty. And that meant more than any empty-ass words ever would.
“Don’t you have something you need to go do?” Ivan asked with a deceptively lazy blink.
Paul sighed, then took a step back. He glanced at me over his shoulder, his lingering look might have made me feel bad if I hadn’t wanted to kill him, before he headed toward the exit. He’d barely opened the door when Ivan’s fingers slipped through mine.
“You handled that better than I would have expected,” he said, not even lowering his voice considering Paul wasn’t out of the room yet.
I peeked up at him. “You think?”
His nod was so enthusiastic, it made me almost laugh. “Yeah. Coach Lee and I thought you’d at least slap him.”
“You told me not to.” Damn it.
“No, I told you to wait until after this was over. I didn’t think he’d actually come up to you and try and talk to you. He doesn’t know you at all, does he?” Ivan snickered. “Dumbass. I bet he has no clue how close he was to dying. I could hear it in your voice, and once I saw your face, I was honestly worried you were going to do some John Wick shit with the comb I left on the counter.”
I couldn’t help but bust out laughing. I couldn’t remember ever laughing before a competition. Ever. Not once.
The tug he gave my hand made me look at him as I kept on laughing.
“You good?” he asked, pressing our joined hands against his hip.
I nodded, and once I’d stopped laughing and still had a smile on my face, I narrowed my eyes on him. “Did you really call him and tell him not to contact me ever again?”
That was the thing about Ivan. He didn’t bullshit. Not ever. I didn’t think he was even capable of being embarrassed either. Because there was no hesitation as he responded. “Yes.”
“Why?”
His body didn’t move from its spot beside me, his hand didn’t let go of mine either as he said, “Because Karina called and told me what happened. She asked if there was anything I could do. If I knew anyone else that you could pair up with.”
This low-level hum began in my ears, but I made myself ask, “Then what happened?”
“I told her I didn’t. Then I called him and told him how it was going to be, I was that pissed,” he explained easily.
I felt like a dumb, pathetic girl asking for reassurances, but I didn’t care enough to let it stop me. “You were mad for me?”
“No shit, Sherlock. The idea of you being upset over that waste of breath pissed me off. You deserved better.” He smiled and pressed our hands tight against his side. “If you were going to cry for anyone, it was going to be me.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I know.”
But then Ivan moved his body. He moved it to face mine, to stand in front of me, forcing me to tip my head back just enough so I could look at his eyes, the bouquet between us. Slowly, taking his time, his forehead dropped to mine. “Do you regret what happened?”
I looked right into those clear blue eyes and told him, “It was the best thing that could have happened to me.”
“Me too, Jas.”
And this… this thing that I knew was love bubbled up inside of me, and I knew it was a stupid idea. I knew I needed to shut the fuck up. But as I looked into those beautiful eyes and held that hand that had been there to hold me up so many times, I reminded myself that I was nobody’s bitch.
Not even my own.
“Vanya,” I started to say, oddly not nervous, so close his breath touched my lips. “I don’t expect anything from you, and I don’t want to make this weird, but I want you to know—”
His “Shut up” caught me off guard.
I blinked. “Don’t tell me to shut up. I want to tell you something.”
He suddenly dropped our hands, smiled, and took a step away. “I got something for you.”
“You got me flowers?” I asked.
He shook his head as he set them on the counter beside me. “No, they’re from Karina.”
I smiled at the thought of her sending flowers. I’d have to send her a text later to say thank you.
“I did get you something, and someone else sent you something too.”
I couldn’t help but narrow my eyes. “Who?”
Ivan smiled. “Patty.”
“Who is Patty?”
His smile drooped. “That teenager at the LC you stood up for. The one who looks just like you and is really outgoing?”
“Oh.” Her. I hadn’t realized we looked alike. “She sent me something?” Why?
“A card.”
Huh. “She didn’t have to do that.”
“No, she didn’t, but she found me the day before we left and begged me to give it to you,” he said. “But I got you something too. It’s not the souls of everyone that has ever pissed you off, but….”
That had me shutting my mouth. For all of a second.
“I was going to give it to you after, but I think I should give it to you now.”
I pressed my lips together and asked slowly, “What is it?” as he turned to his giant rolling suitcase and dug his hand into large pocket on the outside of it.
“I thought we were past you thinking I’m going to randomly kill you.”
“I don’t think we’ll ever be past that.”
Ivan laughed with his back to me. “My plan is to kill you after worlds. Get it right.”
“I’ll write it down in my calendar then. Thank you for the warning.”
His head shook as he yanked his hand out of the pocket, holding something wrapped in tissue paper and something else in a white envelope.
“I was kind of expecting a scorpion, but I don’t think you’d put your own life in danger to kill me.”
“Shut up, I’ll put the card here for you to read later,” he murmured again, amusement in his voice as he turned to face me. “Let me see your hand.”
I held out my right hand, but he smacked it gently down. So I raised the other one. I watched as he set the tissue-paper-wrapped thing on the counter and took my wrist with both of his big hands. He tugged the sleeve of my costume up about three inches on my forearm, exposing the bracelet I always wore. I had tightened the leather straps on it that morning so I could wear it under my costume, like I normally did.
I didn’t think much of it until his thumb brushed over the slim metal plate held on by the leather straps I’d had to replace once a year since I’d originally gotten it made when I was twelve at a fair. To Jasmine. From your best friend, Jasmine was engraved on it. My mom had rolled her eyes when she’d paid for it. I’d showed her the documentary about another figure skater I admired who had worn the same thing. She had been amazing for her time, competitive and had never given a single fuck what other people thought about her. I thought she had been the shit, but mostly, she thought she was the shit.
It had always been my reminder that I had to believe in myself.
And I’d been wearing it proudly since.
But Ivan’s fingers went to the straps I had just retied, and he began undoing the tiny knot with those long, graceful fingers. I wanted to ask him what the hell he was doing and why he was taking it off, but… I trusted him. So, I kept my mouth shut as he pulled it off and set it on the counter beside the tissue-wrapped whatever it was.