“Ella…”
“I was sixteen when he pushed it inside me, Bennett.” The words tumble out, and once they are, they hang like lead weights in the air. The room feels as if it’s a shoebox, but when I glance at Bennett I don’t find disgust but sadness. “He started abusing me…” Swiping my hand across my cheeks to wipe my tears that are now streaming down my face, I look away. Guilt. Shame. Fear. All these emotions fight and claw their way through me.
My body is shaking and I can’t continue. He places a hand on my knee, which causes me to start, but I can’t bring myself to look at him.
“I was… it was… two years before I left home.”
“fu*k, sweetheart.” He scoots closer, and I find myself relaxing into his embrace. “I’m right here. You’re safe now. Please don’t be scared of me. I would never hurt you.”
I nod, but I’m not sure he notices.
“He took everything from me, Bennett. My innocence. My confidence. I felt so fragile in the dark every night. He invaded my mind, my body, and he blackened my soul.” My voice cracks on the last word and that’s when I let go. I’ve been holding more than six years of pain inside. Keeping it locked in a neat little box in the back of my mind, but as this man holds me, stroking my hair, my box breaks and everything comes pouring out.
There’s nothing left for me to do but let go of years of pent-up emotion and let it all out.
“Shhh… I’m right here.”
My tears soak his shirt and I grip the material like it’s a lifeline keeping me afloat from the emotions that seem to want to pull me into the depths of despair and depression. I’ve just told him part of my past and he’s still here, still holding me.
“Bennett.” I pull back and stare at him. “I can’t tell Carter, please. You have to promise me.”
“Why? He cares for you, darling. I think you need to talk to him.”
Shaking my head, I stare out of the window, taking in the inky sky and the twinkling stars. There’s a sliver of the moon hanging in the darkness, not offering much light. “Bennett, you don’t understand. I can’t be with anyone. He wants something I can’t give him.”
“What if we both wanted you?”
His question jars me, stilling me on the spot. What?
“What do you mean?”
“Yes, Carter wants you, but so do I. I believe we can heal you, sweetheart. But we’ll never force you to do something you don’t want to. I’ve known Carter all my life and I trust him.” He moves me then, allowing me to face him. “Be with us?” His voice is determined and confident.
“I-I don’t know,” I confess quietly. “Can you just hold me for now?”
He tugs me into his arms again and a feeling of security blankets me. It’s the same feeling I get when I’m with Carter. “I’m here, love. I told you I’m not heading anywhere unless you ask me to.”
I take in his scent for a moment, allowing his words to wash over me once more.
Carter wants you, but so do I. Be with us.
“Can we go to the living room? It’s stuffy in here,” I mumble into his shirt.
He nods, pulling me up and walking me to the other room. As soon as I sit on the sofa, he joins me. He’s tentative when he reaches for my hand.
“So, the card and box you got at the dinner with Carter, it was him? Your stepfather?” His grip on my hands tightens and his gaze bores a hole into me, leaving me exposed.
“Yes…” Meeting his stare, I continue, “I got spooked. It’s like he was there. I felt as if his eyes were leering at me like they used to. Before dinner, I walked into my bedroom and found the exact same snow globe in my bedroom. But, I haven’t taken my medication in a few days. I-I didn’t think.”
“Medication?”
“When I turned nineteen I finally went to a doctor. I thought I was losing my mind. Hearing him everywhere. They told me it’s auditory hallucinations from my trauma.”
“Ella, look at me.” His strong hands cup my face and I stare at him, waiting for him to tell me I’m crazy and my chest tightens. “I’m doing a background check. This has gone far enough. One call is all it will take. Don’t worry. You’ve got me and Cart.”
I nod. It’s only when Bennett’s thumbs swipe my cheeks do I realize I’m crying.
“fu*k, we need to tell Carter. He needs to know, Ella. Trust me. Look at me.”
I drag my gaze to his and find honesty, sincerity, and understanding.
“Okay.”
He pulls out his phone and hits dial. I can hear the ringing because he’s sitting so close to me. The warmth of him bathes me and I can’t help but shift closer. “Carter, get back here now.”
I can only hear Bennett’s side of the conversation. I can’t imagine what Carter is thinking.
“She woke up from a nightmare and she needs you, us. There’s something you need to know and it’s best that she tells you.”
When he hangs up, he plants a soft kiss on my forehead and I close my eyes. “Let me tell you about my best friend. He’s an arsehole most days, but when he wants someone he won’t stop until he gets them. Ella, I want to lean in right now and claim your lips, to make you forget everything.” His words have my eyes snapping up and I cock my head to the side with my brows creasing into a frown.
“What—” My words are stopped by his lips. Shock vibrates through me, but when I place my hands on his chest and push, he relents. “You can’t… I mean, I can’t…”
He nods but as soon as he moves away, I miss his calm.
“I’ll wait. We’ll both wait, Ella, because you’re ours,” he whispers. He pushes up off the sofa to walk away, but I want him to offer me a reprieve from the tension and fear.
“Wait.” My voice comes out rough with need, yearning.
He turns and eyes me warily.
“Please, just wait. I’m new to this, to talking and opening myself up to someone. And the two of you, you’re like a blanket of calm. You both offer me something I’ve never felt.” My confession stills us both.
“Do you want us both, Ella?” he questions, our gazes clashing with desire. I can’t find the words, so I nod. The downlights seem to illuminate his eyes. They’re beautiful, sparkling like crystals. He smiles—it’s a genuine one—and joins me on the sofa, pulling me into the crook of his arm. My eyes flutter closed and I hope my nightmares will stay away this time.
Carter
“Baines, go straight home. I’ll call you if we need anything, but at this time of the night, I doubt we will. Bennett is here, and he must have his car.”
He nods and offers a smile. The man is my savior. “Yes, sir. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good luck.”
As I make my way up to the entrance, the doorman gives me a nod, allowing me to make my way to the lift. Pushing number seven, I wait for the doors to slide open to take me to her.