“Okay.” I nodded. “Do you need anything?”
“Nope,” she said as she walked away and I’m pretty sure I heard her mumbling under her breath something like, “I need you to not be an insensitive asshole.” I didn’t ask her to speak up, though. She was entitled to her thoughts and feelings. In fact, this is what I wanted. I wanted her to enjoy having fun with me, but I didn’t want her to fall in love with me. We both needed to remember what this was about. This was for fun and excitement. This was for me to fulfill my obligation and duties for the promise I’d made. I sighed as I realized that I’d made a deal with the devil and I wondered if I was going to burn in hell for the rest of my life. As I stood there, feeling uneasy, I knew that that would be a light punishment for the game I was playing. A very light punishment indeed.
Chapter Five
TJ
Two Years Ago
“I want a relationship.” Heidi’s whine was irritating my ears and I tried not to frown at her. “I want to be your girlfriend.”
“I told you I’m not looking for a girlfriend,” I said matter-of-factly and checked my watch to make sure that I hadn’t missed the beginning of the game.
“TJ Walker, did you just check your watch?” Heidi pouted. “Do you have somewhere to be that’s more important than this conversation?”
“Honestly?” I asked her, wondering if she realized just how honest I was.
“Yes,” she said, her eyes looking into mine in a surprised expression.
“Okay, well, I told Cody I’d watch the game with him tonight and kickoff is in twenty minutes, so I kinda have to leave soon.”
“But you just got here an hour ago.” She looked incredulous. “What was this? A booty call?”
“I’d have to be getting some booty for that.” I winked at her, but she didn’t laugh.
“All you want me for is sex,” she said slowly as if that was just dawning on her. I wasn’t sure why she was so surprised. I wasn’t sure why any girl was surprised when they realized I didn’t want a relationship. I never told them anything different.
“I like you, Heidi,” I said, giving her a weak smile. “I’m just not in a position to be in a relationship right now.”
“What position is that, TJ?” She growled, starting to sound angry. “The position of being an adult? The last time I checked, you were one.”
“I don’t want a relationship,” I said honestly. “And if I did, it wouldn’t be with you.” I shook my head to myself as the words came out. They were true, but I knew they were hurtful.
“You’re a dirty rotten bastard.” She glared at me and her eyes looked glossy. That was the first time a woman had called me that and to be quite honest, I agreed with her. I stared back at her and wondered if I could make it out of her apartment before she started crying. I really didn’t want to have to waste time comforting her.
“I really liked you, TJ,” she said plaintively, reaching forward and grabbing my hands. “I can help you. You can tell me anything, TJ. I can help you get through your issues.”
“I don’t have any issues.” I sighed and pulled my hands back. I was starting to feel irritated. Heidi really didn’t get it. If she wanted me to stay, there was basically only one thing she could do right now and that was to pull my zipper down and take me into her mouth, and even then I’d be resistant to staying, now that I knew she wanted a relationship and was in the “pleading for it” stage. There was nothing worse than a normally confident and attractive woman begging me for a relationship, when she knew I didn’t want that. I wasn’t sure what it was about women that made them think that they could sleep with a man enough times to make them commit. Didn’t they realize that a man wanted more than some ass to commit to someone? So many times, I wanted to tell these women that just because they let me fuck them up the ass or in some back alleyway, that wasn’t making me respect them. And the attempts to pull out my cock and suck me under the table at restaurants were too numerous to count. I wasn’t sure what manual women read that made them believe that sex was a way to a man’s heart. But it needed to be updated.
“So you’re just going to leave?” She pouted at me. “That’s it?” Tears started to roll down her cheeks and I sighed. I really didn’t have time for this. “You’re just going to leave me like this?” She pursed her lips and I felt her hands reach down to my zipper. “I want you to stay, TJ.” She slipped her fingers inside my boxers and I felt her slightly cold and trembling fingers on my shaft.