“Just heard about it today. Ida Belle told me.”
He looked at the row of shredded cans again and frowned. “Are you dusting off the cobwebs before you head back to DC?”
Given his stance on our ill-fated relationship due to my profession, I couldn’t imagine why he cared, but the edge in his voice was unmistakable.
“No,” I said finally. “After New Orleans, Ahmad disappeared into the shadows again. My freedom is no closer today than it was the day I arrived.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I was momentarily surprised that he sounded as if he meant it, but then I wondered if he was sorry for me because I was still in limbo or sorry for himself because I had to remain in Sinful.
“Hazard of the job, I guess,” I said.
He nodded and looked out across the marsh. Several uncomfortable seconds of silence ensued and I was about to pack up my pistols and head home when he said quietly, “I’ve missed you.”
I stared at him, no idea what to say. My pulse rate jumped and my heart pounded in my temples. “I’ve missed you, too,” I said finally.
“I…I wasn’t fair to you,” he said. “I didn’t explain my reasons, and I owe you better than that.”
“You don’t owe me anything. I’m the one who lied. I’m sure your reasons are important to you, but since I can’t change who or what I am, they really don’t matter, do they?”
“Maybe not,” he said, “but I’d still like to tell you. That is, if you’re willing to listen.”
Was I willing? I wasn’t sure. Part of me wanted to know simply because that part still had feelings for Carter and wanted to know more about him. But the piece of me that belonged in DC knew that no matter what he said, it wouldn’t change anything. I didn’t need closure. I needed a miracle.
“Okay,” I said, going against all good judgment. This conversation couldn’t serve to do anything but hurt me more—pointing out all my flaws and all the reasons why I would never be good enough for Carter LeBlanc. And yet I couldn’t bring myself to say no.
“Not now,” Carter said. “I only had an hour break and I’ve got to be back to work in fifteen minutes. Your place? Tomorrow night?”
“Yeah. What time?”
“With everything going on, I’m not sure. I’ll let you know. Is that all right?”
I nodded and he picked up his duffel bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
I watched until he disappeared around the barn, then wondered how long he’d been standing there. He’d said he had fifteen minutes left on his hour break. It took about ten minutes to drive out here from downtown Sinful. Had he been watching me for that long and I’d never noticed? He’d looked almost sad when he’d complimented me on my shooting ability. Was he starting to realize what I already knew—that someone like me wasn’t made to live a regular life?
I started packing the pistols into the bag. Speculating was a waste of time. If Carter was serious about explaining himself, then tomorrow night, I’d have all the answers I needed.
And they wouldn’t make a bit of difference.
*
Gertie pulled the tiny purple shawl out of a paper bag and showed it to me. “Isn’t it cute?”
Even though I had a slight to moderate aversion to babies, shawls, and the color purple, I had to admit, it was kinda cute. I had no earthly idea under what circumstances a baby needed a shawl, but I didn’t figure it was information I’d ever need, so no point in asking.
“It’s fantastic,” Ida Belle said. “Now can you put it down and watch the road?”
Gertie looked out the windshield and yanked the steering wheel to the right just in time to keep her car from launching over pink flamingos and into someone’s front lawn.
“Peaches will love it,” I said. “You’re sure she’s at home?”
Gertie nodded. “Yesterday evening, at the General Store, I heard Brandi Monroe say Peaches was watching her son, Barclay, this morning at eight-thirty for an hour so she could get her hair done.”
“Barclay?” I asked.
“Brandi fancies herself highfalutin,” Ida Belle said, “so she picked an English name.”
“Isn’t it Scottish?” I asked.
“Not according to Brandi,” Ida Belle said.
I checked my watch. Nine forty. Hopefully, Highfalutin Brandi and Barclay would be long gone by the time we got there. Baby shawls and chitchat were already outside my comfort zone. I didn’t want to add more pieces to the morning puzzle.
“What time are we relieving Marie?” I asked.
“Whenever we can get there,” Gertie said. “She doesn’t have an appointment or anything. She just wanted to get home for a shower and change of clothes and to get some things done around her house.”