“I have not given up my title just yet, Beta,” Decebel growled. “Know your place, or I will remind you of it. I am your Alpha, and, more importantly, I am your friend. We are here because we care about you and Sally. You are pack, family, and we don’t leave our own to face trials alone. Now tell us what the hell is going on.”
Costin’s shoulders slumped forward as the weight of what he was bearing seemed to press down on him. It was his wolf who spoke. “She is ours,” he growled. “Ours to protect, to love, to cherish. Our true mate, but she pushes us away.” Costin’s voice grew deeper as he spoke, and his body began to shake.
“Control yourself,” Decebel said in a low, fierce voice.
Costin took a deep breath, and, when he looked up at Decebel, his eyes were no longer glowing with his wolf’s anger. “She won’t let me touch her. She hardly speaks to me. Every minute of every day, she pushes me a little further away. Her mind is completely closed off to me. I don’t know if she even wants to be mine anymore.”
“She’s been through something very traumatic, Costin. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you need to give her time,” Decebel said. “She’s your true mate. She cannot live without you. You aren’t going to lose her.”
Costin let out a humorless laugh. “I could tell myself that all day long, Alpha. But that doesn’t change reality. I am not going to lose her. I have already lost her.”
Fane growled. “No, you haven’t. She’s still there in the mansion, asleep in your bed.”
“Her physical body,” Costin snapped. “But this”—he pounded his hand against his chest, just over his heart—“I don’t have hers anymore. She may not have given it to that other wolf, but somewhere along the way she decided it was too broken to give even to me, her damn mate.”
“You’re both hurting. You’ve been through so much for the past four months. I can understand all the doubts, but I will not stand by and watch as you two give up. You are her true mate. There is no one else on earth who can love her as you can. Let me ask you this…” Decebel shifted restlessly, hating to broach this subject, but hoping it would help. “Remember how you felt in the In Between?” As expected, Fane sucked in a sharp breath, and Costin’s body grew rigid once again.
“It’s not something I allow myself to dwell on,” Costin said.
“I’m sure you don’t, but for this lesson I need you to think about those feelings. Think about how you felt when your mind conjured up those fears. Remember how the pain and shame from it threatened to rip you in two. Remember how you felt undeserving of your mate, regardless of the fact that none of those things you saw or experienced actually happened. Comparing your feelings to what Sally is experiencing is like comparing a paper cut to third degree burns. But…” He held up a finger. “It should allow you to have a tiny taste of what your mate is enduring.” Decebel let out a resigned sigh before continuing.
“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d have to order a true mate to fight for his female.” Decebel narrowed his eyes on his Beta and friend. “Costin Miklos.” The power that came with being Alpha surged forward into his words as he spoke. “You will return to your mate. You will set aside any doubts, any fears, any anger you may have, and stand by her side, where you belong, until she is through this dark time. You’re scared of losing her, and we understand that, but running from her isn’t going to help you keep her. You need to fight for your mate. Fight for your relationship, because if you don’t, then Jeremiah and The Order win. Regardless of whether they were able to keep Sally under their thumb, if you let this destroy your marriage, then they win. You will do this.”
Costin bared his neck to Decebel. “Yes, Alpha.” He paused and then met Decebel’s eyes for a couple of seconds before dropping them. “What if I fail?”
“You won’t. Failure isn’t an option when it comes to our mates. Suck it up, Costin. You were created for her and she for you. Start acting like it.”
Costin shut the door of their suite quietly and walked to the bathroom. There were no lights on, but with his wolf’s sight he had no trouble seeing. He needed a shower before he went to his mate.
His Alpha was right and, even without the Alpha command, Costin would have returned to her prepared to fight for what was his. He was hurt. He was lonely. He was terrified. But he wouldn’t lose her, not even to a memory. His Alpha had been right to remind him of the In Between, though it sucked dragon balls to think about. He did remember how he’d felt. He had thought himself unworthy of Sally in every way. It made him nauseous to think that she now thought herself unworthy of him.
The water rushed over his body, washing away the dirt and sweat. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it soothe him and cleanse him. He needed to remember who he was when she met him, confident and sure of himself. He had every right to be close to her, to talk to her and have her talk to him, to touch her. She needed him desperately, and she didn’t even realize it, but that was going to change. Sally was about to get what she deserved, a mate who would show her how much he loved her, wanted her, and was prepared to fight for her.
He dressed quietly and then stepped into their bedroom to find her sleeping more peacefully than she had in days. She looked serene. His hands itched to caress her skin and tunnel through her hair. His body ached to be close to hers, fitting her against him where she belonged. It had been days since he’d felt her, and he was done waiting.
He walked purposefully to his side of the bed and pulled back the covers. Without pause, he climbed in and slid closer to her, rolling onto his side. Costin wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. Before everything had happened, they’d slept like this, every night. He felt his wolf settle for the first time in days as he let the heat from Sally’s body seep into his. He had to convince her that this togetherness would get them through this troubled time. They needed to stand beside each other, lean on each other, and love each other. That would get them through all the pain and sorrow, and he knew they’d come out whole on the other side. But he had no idea what he could do, short of tying their waists together.
He knew he should sleep, but he didn’t want to. He was afraid to miss a moment of finally having her back in his arms. She started to shift, and he wondered if she was waking up, but she simply rolled over and moved closer to him. She buried her face in his neck and let out a contented sigh. He held the other half of her soul. And he knew it was her soul that was reaching out to him in that moment. It was reaching for comfort, acceptance, and safety.
“I’ve got you, Sally mine. I’ve got you, and I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into her hair.
“Don’t give up on us.” Her voice spoke into his mind, and he knew it was her soul speaking to his.