He offered me a quick nod and headed off. I had no idea what I’d say to explain everything to him. What could I say to him that he’d not only believe, but accept?
I’d been thinking and thinking about it ever since leaving Dr. White’s office, and considering myself the reincarnated soul of a girl who’d lived and died in Fredericksburg, Virginia, some thirty years ago was almost more than I could process. But, much as I tried to figure out another explanation, I just couldn’t. Nothing else could fully explain what’d been happening to me. And if I took it from the standpoint that I was Amber Greeley reincarnated, then almost everything clicked into place. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I had to admit that it simply felt right.
I hadn’t absolutely accepted it as fact, yet, but I was pretty close.
Still…I didn’t know how Cole would react to the theory, and I especially didn’t know how he would react to the concept of my being the reincarnated soul of the person who’d supposedly murdered his uncle. I pulled out my phone as I walked to class and thought for the hundredth time about calling Sophie to tell her what’d been going on. I needed an ally, someone to tell me I wasn’t totally crazy, someone who’d believe me simply because I said I was telling the truth…but I knew that I couldn’t reach out to her. There wasn’t enough time to explain it all, and she was probably in class, and I was still so hurt and angry with her. So I was on my own with this until I talked it out with Cole, and that was certainly something to sweat about until the end of the day.
A few hours later I hurried to my locker and checked my phone. Mom had sent a text to call her right away.
“Hi,” I said, cradling the phone between my shoulder and ear while I shoveled books into my backpack. “What’s up?”
“Hi, baby,” she said, with a pitch of excitement in her voice. “I got a call from Dr. Van Dean himself about an hour ago. He’s seen the recording of your session last night, and spoken with Dr. White, and he said that he’s anxious to talk to us. Can you pick me up from the hospital at three thirty and we’ll drive into Richmond together?”
My breath caught. “Today?” I said. “He wants to see me today?”
“Yes.” There was a pause, then: “I think it’s a good idea, lovey. You had the nightmare again last night, and I’m worried about the restorative sleep you’re supposed to be getting and aren’t. Plus, these panic attacks keep catching you by surprise, and I think with all the added stress of the divorce and the move and the new school, it’s just too much, baby. If Dr. Van Dean can help us figure this out, and give you some peace of mind, then I think we should go see him as soon as possible and hear what he has to say.”
I leaned wearily against the locker, reminded about the intensity of the dream from the night before. I hadn’t told Mom, but the nightmare had morphed into a combination of the boy in the field and someone murdering me in a yellow bedroom, and I had to really wonder if that was the way Amber actually died. It was so horrifying, so painful, so terrifying. Nobody deserved to die like that. Nobody. But I had the strong sense that that’s exactly what had happened to Amber, and it was so awful that I’d woken up screaming. Mom had held me most of the night to comfort me. She’d also gotten very little sleep herself, and I knew she, too, was already running on empty.
“Okay,” I agreed. “I’m in.”
We made arrangements about where to meet and then I clicked off with her to go back to shoveling books into my bag. “Hey, Lily,” said a familiar voice. I turned.
“Hi, Cole,” I said, offering him a smile.
“You hungry?” he asked.
“Yeah, I could eat.”
“Cool,” he said. “I’m starving. Wanna get lunch?”
I nodded eagerly. I was actually famished. We walked together and Cole said, “Mexican work for ya?”
“It does,” I told him.
“Okay if I drive?” he asked, and there was something about the way he said it that suggested he was making light of what happened yesterday.
“It is as long as you didn’t lock your keys in the car.” I grinned and nudged him with my elbow.
He chuckled and held up his hand to show me the keys in his palm. “I’ve got both sets on me, just in case.”
“Phew,” I deadpanned. “That could’ve been awkward.”
Cole took me to a small shack of a place a few miles south of school. It didn’t look like much, which was fine, because I was pretty anxious, and if he’d taken me someplace fancy, that would have felt like a date. When we sat down, I simply stared at my food, trying to find the words to explain what was going on with me.
“Hey,” Cole said. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but I swear it’s awesome.”
Obviously, he mistook my hesitation for skepticism about the food, so, to set his mind at ease, I bit into the burrito, and couldn’t help the small moan that was inspired by the burst of flavors in my mouth. “Ohmigod,” I mumbled, and placed a hand in front of my lips as I chewed.
“Right?” he said with a smile.