And it was amazing. My lips met his, softly, gently, and his then pressed a little against mine until his mouth parted, and mine with it. His hand came up to cup my cheek and sweep back through my hair, and then our tongues met and his caressed mine so sweetly, so gently, that it ignited a fire within me. I felt a sudden and swift desire for him that was both longing and satisfying, and then he moaned and I was lost to everything but an overwhelming awareness of him. His breath. His heat. His physique. His caress. It all seemed to go on and on as though he filled a universe of unexplored stars, and I was swept up into his night sky and drifted across his constellation, until we both became aware of a strobe of light flashing on and off against the interior of his car. I pulled away first, breathing heavily and confused by the bouncing light, but then I realized the source and turned to look over my shoulder. The porch light was flickering. On and off. On and off.
My parents obviously knew that Spence and I were parked out front. “Oh, God,” I said, glaring at the house. “Why? Just, why?”
Spence cleared his throat, and I turned back to him. He had beads of sweat across his forehead and his face was flushed, but his lips were also beautifully swollen.
“I’d better walk you to the door,” he said.
“Sorry,” I told him, ready to get out of the car, but he caught my arm and leaned in toward me to kiss me sweetly and ignite those embers all over again.
At last his face lifted from mine, and as he stroked my cheek tenderly, he said, “I can’t believe I waited so long to do that.”
I grinned. “You didn’t.”
He chuckled. “Right. How about, ‘I can’t believe I waited so long to let you do that’?”
We both laughed, and Spence took my hand. “Come on, before your parents open the front door and ask why all my windows are fogged.”
We got out of the car and headed up the walk, holding hands. I thought about how perfect a first kiss that was, and how I couldn’t wait to set the record straight with Britt and Sara.
As we got to my door, the light flickered again, and I groaned. My parents were still at it. Turning hopefully to Spence, I said, “See you later?”
He leaned in one last time and kissed me lightly. “Definitely,” he said before turning to head back down the porch stairs. On the way down, however, I heard him say again, “Definitely.”
I WAS DEFINITELY LOSING MY MIND. I had to be. An hour before, I’d walked into my sixth period class, only to discover it wasn’t my sixth period. It wasn’t anyone’s sixth period. It was an unused classroom filled with old desks, chairs, and other storage items.
And then I’d had a very disorienting few minutes of trying to find my actual sixth period class, which had been on the other side of the school. I’d barely snuck in before the bell.
To make a bad day even worse, Sophie had texted me again.
I saw your new look. You’re soooo beautiful! I miss you, Lil. I really do. Just wanted you to tell you that.
Knowing that she’d had a glimpse of my new hairstyle hadn’t felt like I thought it would. I thought I’d feel…I don’t know…vindicated in a way? But all I really felt was sad. It was just like her to tell me I was beautiful. Back when we were friends, she always made me feel like I was the smartest, prettiest, most special person she knew. And maybe that’s why it hurt so much—all that validation had just been ripped away from me when she started seeing Tanner. It was like everything nice she’d ever said to me had been a lie. Like I’d been played.
Except…maybe I hadn’t. Maybe Sophie really did miss me. Maybe she really was sorry. It was impossible to know the truth. At least, at the moment it was. I was way too exhausted to have any hope of figuring out how I felt about my ex–best friend.
A little shaky and out of it, I leaned against my locker while the other kids hurried to grab their stuff and leave for the day. I wondered if I could even make it home. Mom had left me the keys to the car, which was nice of her. She said in a note that she’d had to stay at the hospital an extra six hours so she was headed to bed, but she’d found another resident to carpool with. I’d been happy about getting the car, but I’d wanted to talk to her before school because I’d had the dream about the boy in the field again, only this time it’d been even more intense.
For as long as I could remember, the dream had always begun with me walking through a field. Last night had been different: the dream had opened with me running through the corridors of Chamberlain High, caught like a rat in a maze and frantic for a way out. Finally, I’d found the exit and I’d walked right out to the field, which was already fully engulfed in flames. The rest was like always, and I woke again at two A.M., covered in sweat and sobbing.
I got back to sleep around three, and slept fitfully for the next two and a half hours, then woke feeling like I hadn’t rested at all.
To add to the misery, at school, no one had tried to talk to me or be friendly, and I felt too shy and vulnerable to make any attempts myself. What’s more, I’d been unable to catch a glimpse of Cole, and I didn’t even know if he’d been in school today. It would’ve meant a lot to see a friendly face.
With a sigh, I pushed myself away from my locker and worked the combination to open the door. The bustling of students around me had noticeably thinned. Nobody drags their feet to leave school. Tugging open the locker door, I began to gather books and my laptop.
“Hey, Cole,” I heard someone say from just around the corner.
I stiffened. “Hey, Coop,” he replied. “Are you in Rennick’s first period?”
“Yeah.”
“Have you seen the new girl?” Cole asked.
“You mean that hot new piece of ass from Richmond? Yeah, I’ve seen her. Why? You lookin’ to tap that, bro?”
My face bloomed with heat. Ohmigod. They were talking about me!