Talitha wore a paler shade of pink than Naomi did, and braided into her hair was a crown of real daisies. I didn’t know whether Naomi had managed that herself or knew someone who was a fabulous hair stylist. Like the child she was, Talitha giggled as she ran around in the park, diving into the grass. I was pretty sure there would be green stains on her dress, but Naomi didn’t scold her. Whatever Talitha’s scars were from her father’s death, her mother’s abuse, and her childhood in polygamy, none of them seemed apparent today.
My sons Adam, Joseph, and Zachary had gotten here early enough to help set up chairs. I think they had tried to make the two sides look even by spreading out the chairs on our side, but it wasn’t possible, considering how many people were on Naomi’s side. I hadn’t invited my extended family and Kurt’s parents and brother were dead. That meant twenty chairs versus fifty, all in rows.
I thought of Samuel, and missed him deeply. Kurt and I hadn’t bothered to ask the Boston area mission president if Samuel could come home for the wedding since it was so unlikely that it would be approved. For a funeral, perhaps, but a wedding, no. I’d written him a redacted version of the events at the Stephen Carter compound so he wouldn’t feel left out. He probably understood me well enough to know how much I’d left unsaid, but we could talk about the details after his mission, if he wanted them.
Kenneth introduced me to some of his friends, one of his college roommates, and several of the people who worked at his coin laundry business with him. Naomi introduced me to a couple of classmates she’d invited, as well.
To my surprise, Anna Torstensen was seated in the back, as well. She smiled at me and I could see the strain in her face. Kurt must have told her about the wedding and made sure she was invited. He’d taken a risk, but I was glad to see her there. I went over to help her find a seat. She leaned close to me and hugged me for a long time without saying a word.
Emotions rode over me one after another: fury, desolation, loneliness, loss, fear, and then a more lasting wave of love.
“Thank you for coming,” I said.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she said.
I opened my mouth twice to say something, and nothing came out.
“I miss our walks,” she said at last.
“I do, too.” That was a beginning, at least.
“Maybe you could come over for tea next week? I have some new recipes I could share with you,” she offered.
“That sounds nice.” It did. Tea was just what I needed. I didn’t know what we would talk about, but we would figure it out as we went.
“I want you to know that I’ve never judged you through this. I hope you haven’t judged me.”
I had judged her. Maybe unfairly. I let out a long breath, and let go of—something. “I love you, Anna,” I said. Wasn’t that enough? Wasn’t it more than enough?
I got up after that, wiping at my wet face, glad I hadn’t bothered with makeup since I suspected today would be a day for crying anyway. I moved away from Anna and our side of the chairs, then maneuvered my way to the front and caught Rebecca’s eye.
She nodded to me and I thought that she looked much the same as she had before, an older woman with too much responsibility on her back and too many regrets haunting her dreams. On the other hand, several rows back, Carolyn looked much better than the last time I had seen her, without the shadows under her eyes and the physical strain of pregnancy and loss. I didn’t know how much truth about the “stillborn” daughter had come out when Dr. Benallie had been questioned by the police about Stephen’s murder, but I hoped Carolyn had been strong enough to deal with what had.
The children on Naomi’s side of the family were dressed in sober church clothes with pink roses pinned on their shirts that I suspected had come from the Perezes’ garden. I was surprised at how quiet and well-behaved they were, and then a little disturbed by it. They’d been trained to obey too well. I hoped they didn’t think of this ceremony as anything like the too-recent funeral they’d been to for their father.
I sat down on our side in the front, with an up-front view of Kurt as officiator, and Kenneth at his side. I felt a moment of peace, and more than that, sheer joy and satisfaction. There are few enough moments in life like this, where you feel that everything you’ve done has been worth it, that you’ve received more than you ever deserved. It might not last, but I was going to hold that sense close to my heart. I was a mother, and this was a mother’s reward.
The music began, a single violin playing a Csárdás. I didn’t recognize the violinist, and he was so talented that I wondered if it was someone Kenneth or Naomi knew personally or if they’d hired him. With the music playing and everyone standing and turned to watch her, Naomi walked down the aisle. Talitha walked just in front of her, throwing rose petals with abandon.