“Left here,” Gavin says suddenly, and I know the precursor is over and whatever is about to begin is suddenly upon me.
I don’t know where we are. It feels like we have been in the car almost two hours, possibly more, but it could be one hour for all I know. I have no concept of time. We are driving up a steep hill. Could we have driven out of town and to the mountains? Are they going to leave me here? How am I going to get home from here? I am going to miss my curfew. I am doomed. My family is doomed. I have let everyone down again. All of a sudden, I wonder whether I will make it out of here at all. Do they have it in them to kill me? They’ve been drinking a lot. Whatever they have planned could go wrong.
I think of Art suddenly and long to be with him. He’s not like these guys; he was always my protector. Before … all this. I wish for him to rescue me right now, but on and on we drive, no one coming for me. Instead of staying and facing it with me, he ran away.
“Wake up.” Logan kicks me in the shin, and I cry out and move my legs closer to my body, away from him and closer to Colleen. I feel her inch away from me.
The car finally stops and the doors open. Finally, fresh air. The smoke and alcohol diminish, and I can breathe again. Logan pulls me out of the car, and I think of my dress, my hemline so short it must be around my waist now. I try to shake it down. The ground beneath me is uneven, pebbled stones, and I can’t keep up with them in my shoes. I go over on my ankle twice.
“Take the dumb things off,” Natasha says.
I feel my shoes come off, and my feet are on pebbles now. My Flawed scar is rooted to the ground to remind me how Flawed I am.
“Suit me?” Natasha says, and Gavin whistles.
I’m pulled farther up the hill. I gasp and curse as the soles of my feet land on sharp stones. I can’t see where I’m going through the sack, and even the light that shone through is now gone. It’s dark. It’s late. Mom was due to collect me from Logan’s house at ten. Is it close to that time? Has it passed? I may even have already missed my curfew.
“I have a curfew,” I finally say. “Please let me go home.”
They’re silent.
“What time is her curfew?” Natasha asks.
“Eleven,” Colleen replies.
“It’s ten fifteen now,” Natasha says.
“So?” Logan says, panting as he pulls me along.
“So we better hurry this along.”
“Or what?”
“Or … what happens, Colleen?” Natasha asks.
“Missing a curfew is a big deal. Anything could happen. She goes in front of the court again.”
Logan laughs.
“No, but it’s serious,” Colleen says. “It’s not just her that’s punished. It’s her family. My brothers were taken away for a week.” Her voice trembles.
“Never met her family,” he says. “Don’t care.”
“Right here,” Gavin says, and we all stop.
I hear them unlock a door.
“Step up,” Colleen says quietly, and I step up, onto timber. Splinters immediately pierce my skin. I smell soil, moss. We’re in a shed. Soil and dirt beneath my feet. We all pile in, and the door closes and locks. Logan pushes me suddenly, and I almost fall face-first but manage to keep my balance. I bump against a wall, and a spade or a rake digs into my arm.
“What was the Flawed’s problem in swim class?” Logan asks.
“Afraid to show her body,” Natasha says.
I shrink away from them. “No. Please, no,” I say, terror in my voice.
FORTY-FIVE
SOMEBODY PUSHES ME away from the wall and unzips the back of my dress. I struggle but am held in place by Natasha. I feel her small hands around my arms. Her nails dig into me.
My dress falls to my feet, and I’m left standing in my bra and underwear in the shed. The only other item on my body is the anklet that Art gave me. Despite our uncertain future, I don’t want to take it off. It reminds me of a time when things were perfect, that I’m not as Flawed as everyone says. I start crying again. There is nowhere to hide.
“Okay, you’ve done it,” Colleen says quickly. “Let’s go.”
Someone whistles.
“Shut up, Gav, she’s Flawed. She’s scum.”
“Looks like a girl in her underwear to me.”
“Look at those scars,” Natasha says, close to my face. She’s examining the one on my chest. I swallow hard. I want to cross my legs, bring my arms around the front of my body to protect myself.
Gavin and Natasha talk about me like I’m not there. Logan doesn’t say a word, which scares me all the more. They examine my scars. Lift my hand and my foot. They keep the hood over my head. It wouldn’t help to see that the body has a head, has a heart.
“Not looking, Colleen?” Logan says. “Oh no, I forgot. You’ve seen them before.”
“This is sick. I’m getting out of here,” Colleen says. The door unlocks, and I smell fresh air and I hear her footsteps leave the shed.