Fitness Junkie

“Why?” Janey asked, smiling. “Thanksgiving isn’t for almost a year. It seems they’re living the life right now. Badgers can’t even get in here to get them.”

Juice Guy laughed. “One of them just stopped laying eggs earlier this week, and it’s thrown the others into a tizzy.”

“Menopause,” Janey said, raising an eyebrow and quickly thinking that forty-year-old women shouldn’t say the word “menopause” out loud.

“Maybe. We’re trying to figure it out. I’ll keep you updated on whether she lays.” His eyes were kind, wide and a little droopy like a Labrador retriever’s. Everything that came out of this man’s mouth sounded vaguely sexual and Janey liked it. A lot.

“So, where are you taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.” He winked at her. Janey marveled at how tall he was. She hadn’t noticed it when he was standing behind the counter, but he was several inches above six feet. She felt small, and at five foot nine she never felt particularly petite around men.

“Bye, Jacob. I’ll see you in the morning,” Fern Tattoos said distractedly, reaching one hand into the guinea fowl pen. “And bye, Lainey.”

I don’t know your name either, Janey thought. Jacob. That was his name. Janey filed it away, replacing “Juice Guy” in her mental file for him.

He immediately grabbed her hand as he led her out the door. Hand-holding twice in twenty-four hours. Ivy was wrong; dating was easy. Maybe dating when you were a little bit older was simpler. You knew what you wanted. There was less bullshit. And Janey, at forty, didn’t feel any pressure to get married again right away or have kids. She found she was excited just to enjoy herself. She liked the way he ran one of his fingers over the top of her knuckles. Now, at a time when she thought she had zero interest in romance, she had two potential suitors.

“Well, I’m starving. Come on, at least give me a hint where we’re going.”

“Do you really want to know?”

“I do!”

“Well, you seemed like an adventurous girl so I thought you might be into dumpster diving.”





CHAPTER ELEVEN




“You’re funny.” Janey shot Jacob her most winning smile and pushed a lock of dark hair out of his eyes. “So there’s this great vegan Thai place I know right around the corner. It’s never crowded. We can just walk in.”

He grabbed both of her hands. “I’m serious. Do you realize how much food gets wasted in this city on a nightly basis? It’s gross. I had an eye on you in yoga. You’ve got a spark, Janey Sweet. I know you’re going to love this.”

“See, it’s not that I think I won’t love it,” Janey tried to explain cautiously, not wanting this date to end before it even began. Was this worse than Iranian George Clooney asking if she wanted to do cocaine? “I’m not dressed for it. These boots.” She gestured down, realizing that her vintage motorcycle boots did look beat-up enough to frolic in a trash bin. “They weren’t made for divin’. And I’m really not wearing the right top…cashmere absorbs smells like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Yeah…well…” As he seemed to consider changing his mind, an adorable look of realization crossed his face.

“I have a sweatshirt for you. A Wandering Juice sweatshirt. One hundred percent organic hemp.” Without another word he disappeared back into the juice shop, emerging a minute later with, as promised, an avocado green Wandering Juice hoodie, which he handed to her along with a North Face backpack.

He really was handsome and she really hadn’t had a date in a long time. Janey sighed.

“So where’s this dumpster?”

“Come on.” Jacob beckoned to her, hailing a taxi for the two of them outside the shop. They sat thigh to thigh in the back of the car, trading small talk about nothing important—what they’d been up to for the past few days, what they both loved about Philadelphia. Jacob expressed a real interest in the fact that she’d attended an achuma ceremony. After the taxi dropped them off at the corner of Second Avenue, her date disappeared around the corner of the Whole Foods on Houston Street. Janey’s heart began to pound with the knowledge that they were about to do something she assumed was illegal and she knew would be gross. But doing anything with this absurdly tall twenty-something single dad could just be the most fun she’d had all year, so she pulled her juice hoodie over her ears and followed after him behind the brightly lit mecca of organic food.

A chain-link fence guarded the massive grocery store, secured by a simple padlock. Jacob interlocked his fingers and indicated to Janey that she could place her foot into his hands for a boost.

“Just climb over,” he encouraged her.

Her mantra for the evening had become “Don’t think. Just do. Don’t think.”

Because if she thought too hard she’d go home and pour herself a neat bourbon with a twist and curl up with a book. She placed the heel of her boot into his hands and raised her arms as high as she could above her head, hoisting herself up and over the fence, feeling stronger now than she had a month ago, when she could hardly complete a push-up.

Jacob appeared to leap the fence in one swift movement and was soon standing next to her on the other side.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” he said and pulled her hips close to his. “I promise you it’s less disgusting than you think it’s gonna be.”

Behind the building were two large dumpsters, a family of tabby cats, and two doors clearly marked EMPLOYEES ONLY.

“What if someone comes out?” Janey asked, eyeing those doors.

“They won’t.” Jacob smiled mischievously. “They have a schedule and I just happen to know it. Look, it’s company policy for these big chain stores to throw things out way before they need to. But there’s always an employee who’s on our side, who thinks that corporate policy is a wasteful pile of shit. So they post the schedules on FreeCycle.org. That way you know when it’s safe to dive. Come on. We’ve got half an hour. I’m actually surprised we’re the only ones here.”

He went silent for a second and stretched down to touch his toes. “I was teasing you before. It’s your first time. I’m not gonna make you climb into the dumpster…unless you really want to.”

Janey smiled and shook her head.

“No worries. Okay. I’m going in and I’ll toss to you. Once we fill the backpacks we’ll get out of here. Sound good?”

“Let’s do it,” Janey said.

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