Fitness Junkie

Without pausing in her tracks, Stella answered the question as if it had been asked directly of her.

“It’s a heated geodesic dome. It’s balmier up there than it is in Rio.” She then paused and stepped back for a second, pulling Janey close to her and whispering in her ear. “I have news. I think I can get you into The Workout retreat in St. Lucia if you really want to go. I spent all last night talking to Sara about you on the phone.”

“Really?” Janey said. She hadn’t had a real interest in going away on some fitness vacation in the Caribbean until Stella had told her she couldn’t go away on some fitness vacation in the Caribbean.

“Let’s talk after the ceremony.”

Janey turned to find her cousin leaning in toward them, definitely eavesdropping.

“Hey Iv.”

“Whatcha talking about?”

“Oh, just this retreat a client of Stella’s is doing. This woman called Sara Strong. You might know her. She is, was, Kate Wells’s personal trainer. I went to her workout the other day.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of her,” Ivy said. “I want to hear everything!”

Before they could talk more, they needed to fall into single file to walk up a narrow winding staircase from the townhouse’s third floor to the roof.

“How did they get this up here?” CJ asked.

“They must have built it from scratch,” Janey responded in awe.

The braided staircase had opened into a giant glass sphere composed of a network of smaller triangles. The glass was so clean and so clear you could see the few stars available to the naked eye through the New York City smog. Heat lamps ringed the outer edges of the dome and a large fire pit dominated the center of the space, with a small opening up top to let the smoke waft up and out. Overstuffed white goose-down cushions were neatly placed in a circle on top of the softest grass Janey had ever felt.

Stella clapped her hands.

“Sit, everyone. Get comfy. We’re going to be on this journey for a while. I hope everyone made sure to eat before coming. It is best to begin the ceremony satisfied. If you’re hungry, let one of our spiritual assistants know and he or she can bring you a spoon of coconut butter.”

Everyone began settling down onto the ground. Janey, Ivy, and CJ staked out three cushions next to one another with Janey sitting in the middle. The silver fox had removed his suit coat and vest and rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt to reveal seriously muscular and tanned forearms. Janey tried to catch if he was wearing a wedding ring, but the candlelight made it impossible to make out any small details.

Prior to their journey across the East River Janey had done an extensive search of every possible side effect and reaction one could have to psychedelic cacti. They included, in no particular order, nausea, disorientation, hallucination, headache, dehydration, a sense of disembodiment, mood swings, and intense emotions. Some people claimed they discovered who they were in their past lives, and others were certain they’d been given a message from friends and family beyond the grave. Janey was determined about one thing: she wouldn’t spend the night crying about Beau.

Stella’s spiritual assistants began pouring glasses of sparkling water and passing them around the circle.

“Remember to stay hydrated. We’ll begin in a few minutes. Take a few sips of the water and just pull in a few breaths. It’s so special we’re all here together tonight for the new moon solar eclipse. New moons and solar eclipses both represent new beginnings. The effect of their power on the earth is simple scientific fact. When we see a new moon coincide with a solar eclipse the earth experiences bigger tides, increased volcanic activity, and extreme weather. Now imagine what is happening within your own body. It’s wild stuff! This particular eclipse is at eighteen degrees Pisces with both Mercury and Neptune in the realm, which means we will see a wealth of love, compassion, and understanding emerge during this ceremony.”

Janey knew she was a Virgo, but she never remembered anyone else’s sign. Michael used to get hurt that she always forgot he was an Aquarius. Anytime anyone began talking about star signs, Janey tuned out. She paid attention again once Stella described exactly what would happen during the achuma ceremony.

“Now, I think almost all of you are first-timers when it comes to the healing ceremony we’re about to do, so I want to tell you a little bit about what’s going to happen tonight. Achuma is the greatest sacred plant teacher and healer that we know of. In the wild this plant can reach more than twenty feet in height. This is not a mescaline experience, although some of you will experience the psychedelic effects of the cactus.”

Janey shifted nervously on her cushion.

“Depending on your emotional state, this process can be chaotic or tranquil. But rest assured we are here to hold your hand. Literally! My spiritual guides will be here to actually hold your hand if you need it, and I don’t want you to be shy. Some people feel as though they’re dreaming even though they’re awake. You may want to lie down, you may want to take a walk. I invite you to wander all over the house. Touch what you want, eat what you want, but the only rule is that you stay inside. You may see colors differently. You may get to see the energy of things. My clients often remember things they had long, long forgotten. Ultimately our goal is to heal the wounds of the past so you can live fully in the present. Now. Does anyone have any questions?”

Silver Fox raised his hand, a gesture Janey found adorable, and asked the question she’d been wanting to ask. “About how long does it last?” he said in a posh British accent that made him sound like Lord Grantham from Downton Abbey. CJ nudged Janey’s thigh. Janey pinched her back to show that yes, she had noticed this very handsome man.

“Great question, Hugh. Achuma lasts much longer than some of the other traditional medicines, often as long as nine hours. In a few moments we will all drink our tea together and from there it will take about thirty minutes to feel the effects.”

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