“I would prefer to come.” He smiles cheekily with a wink.
I laugh, kiss him quickly on the lips, and with a shake of the head I close the door. I turn and flick the kettle on to make a cup of tea and go to the window, looking out into the countryside below. I smile as a sense of contentment flows through me.
I’m actually here… in this house… doing this… with him. My phone beeps and I retrieve my handbag, catching sight of the letter that I found today. I take it out and put it on my pillow while I read the text.
Brielle.
I blow out a deflated breath. We haven’t spoken since our heated exchange in the restaurant the other night. It reads:
Hi Em.
Are you okay?
I feel bad for our fight.
I can’t stand the thought of you being angry with me.
I stare at my phone for a moment before I reply.
I could never be angry with you.
I am disappointed.
I wait for a moment and a text bounces back.
Where are you?
Tears fill my eyes and I text back.
I am alone in my room at Ashford Castle preparing for my wedding tomorrow.
I wait for a reply but it doesn’t come. I pace back and forth for a moment and then text back.
I understand that this sounds crazy.
And I understand the you don’t know or support Alastar.
But I needed you here to support me.
I’m hurt that you won’t be by my side at my wedding.
I love you.
xxx
I click out of my messages and turn my phone off. I am not getting into a fight with her tonight while she tries to talk me out of it. My wedding tomorrow is the only thing I am sure of in this whole messed up situation. I sit on the bed and my eyes turn to the letter I found today. It’s like my very own private wedding present from my Alastar. I slowly turn it over and slide my finger under the heavy deep red wax seal. I take out the heavy paper and I smile as I see the handwriting. It’s the same as Alchron’s and Alastar’s. It is from him. My love has written this letter for me
* * *
My darling Emmaline.
My apologies that it has taken me so long to write you. I haven’t had the strength up until now.
It has been three months since I held you in my arms, three months since I felt the warmth of your love.
Three long months since fate stole you from me again.
I have done this before. I know how hard this grief is, and yet every life it feels that bit harder and my loss with your death, so much greater. I am a shell without you.
It is unbearable, my love, to lose you again and again.
I have made a decision and I hope and prey that it breaks the curse and lets you live a full life.
I need to explain to you why I have decided on the decision I have, and it has not come to me easily and will pain me greatly to execute. I couldn’t explain this to you when were living as I would never want you to live as I do.
Petrified that every day may be your last.
As fate would have it, my love, we have been gifted the ability to remember each other in our lives, throughout all of our lives. Our ring somehow controls my ability to find you, but unfortunately it doesn’t have any power to save you. For some ungodly reason, once we find each other, your days become numbered.
I am sick with worry throughout my life knowing that I will eventually bear your loss. There are twenty-three lives that we have lived together, yet I only remember fifteen. I do not know what happened in those missing eight lives, but I do know I will trace them and recover any remaining memories of our time together, and hopefully recover some kind of clue as how to fix this curse.
The two lives that you do remember, The Princess with Alchron and Henry with Elizabeth, are the only two lives that I didn’t know about the curse of losing you before at the time of living them. These were the only two lives where I passed first.
I need to break this curse for you.
I want you to see our daughter Ester grow up.
She lives every life without her mother and it breaks my heart. A child should never bear this loss once, let alone in every life.
It is hard for me to write this, and I have no idea how I am going to go through with it. I can’t even imagine a cold life without your love surrounding me.
In our next life, my darling, I am going to resist you. I am going to take our ring and hide it and push you away. I will stay away from you at all costs and trust me, I will die a little every day knowing that you love me and yet I am not in your arms.
I am doing this, not because I don’t love you, please know that.
Just the opposite, my darling. I love you more than life itself and truly wish that it was me who passed in your place.
You need to know that I love you desperately and how deeply I care for you.
Please forgive me for putting you through pain, because even though you do not remember our past lives, I know you will remember the way we feel about each other.
I need to try and save your life and not because of them, the people in the past.
But for you.
For me.