Her head tilts, the tiny frown lines in her face making her look older than six years old. “Do you love love Mommy?”
“I love love your mommy more than anything. That’s why I’m going to go get help.”
Her whole face lights up from whatever idea is brewing within that busy head of hers. “What if we go with you?”
Shit. All it takes is one shake of my head to have her smile falling.
“No. I wish you could, but this is something I’ve got to do on my own.” I give her one last hug before rising.
“But you’ll be back,” she states.
“I’ll be back—for you and your mommy.”
“Pinky promise?” She holds out her pinky with a wobbly smile.
I lock our pinkies together and shake on it. “Pinky promise.”
I give her one last kiss on the top of her head before turning around. My step falters as I take in Lana leaning against the doorframe, her eyes dark and her scowl unwavering.
“Hi, Mommy!”
She looks over at Cami. “You’re up early.” Her voice doesn’t sound accusatory, but the glare she sends my way is.
“Cow-l woke me up.” Cami throws me under the bus.
Love you too, kiddo.
“Why don’t you try to sleep for a little bit longer? You have a long day today.” Lana doesn’t say anything else as she walks away, leaving me to be the one to shut the door. The heaviness pressing against my shoulders only worsens with each step I take toward the front door.
“Key.” Lana holds out her hand. There is a slight tremble to her fingers that fucks me up inside.
“Lana…”
“Don’t.” Her voice wavers as if she is on the verge of crying.
Fuck.
I pull out my keyring and get to work removing the house key from it. Once I place it in Lana’s hand, she tucks it into her back pocket.
“Good luck in rehab.” Her voice sounds distant. Kind of like I’m underwater, fighting the current threatening to take me away from her.
“I’m coming back.”
She reaches around me to unlock the door. “It won’t change anything between us.”
“Then what will?”
“Nothing. You got what you wanted. By the time you’re out of rehab, I’m sure we will have a buyer ready to go.”
“I’m not talking about the fucking house,” I snap.
She blinks.
“I know you think the worst of me. That’s fine. It’s not like I don’t deserve it. But just know that I didn’t choose to go to rehab for the inheritance.”
She scoffs as she crosses her arms. “You sure didn’t choose it for me.”
“No. I chose to get help for me.”
Her mouth drops open.
“If I only wanted the inheritance, then I would have stuck around here for thirty more days and met the requirement asked of me. But instead, I’m going to rehab because I want to love myself as much as you love me.”
She sucks in a breath but stays quiet.
“I want to be the man you and Cami deserve. Whether you believe me or not, that’s the reason why I’m going to rehab. I’ve been through the process enough times to know it’s thirty days of absolute hell, no matter which way someone cuts it. But every day I spend suffering in the prison of my mind is worth a thousand happy ones with you.” I lean forward and press a kiss on the top of her head. She doesn’t melt into me with a sigh like usual, but her shoulders drop a fraction.
I run my knuckles across her cheek. “I’m sorry about the house. I wanted to tell you every single time the subject came up, but I couldn’t risk my brothers losing their inheritances after all the sacrifices they made. They would have never forgiven me, and I couldn’t live with myself knowing I destroyed everyone’s lives around me. I already hate myself enough as it is.”
She looks away and swipes at her cheek with her sleeve.
I clasp on to her chin and force her to look me in the eyes. “I’ll find a way to fix this.”
Her eyes shut. “You can’t.”
“Is that a dare?” I half-heartedly tease.
Her bottom lip wobbles. “No. It’s a reality.”
The invisible talons wrapped around my heart squeeze until I’m left breathless and achy.
I step back before I end up kissing away the sad look on her face. “I’ll return for you. Consider this your one and only warning.”
Her lips press together. I offer her a half-assed smile before I walk to my car without looking back.
I can’t look back and risk seeing the mistrust written all over her face.
I can only hope that whatever I said will hold her over until I can come back and prove that there is nothing in this world I want more than her and the family we can have.
Even if it kills me in the process.
49
ALANA
The only thing saving me from collapsing face-first into my bed after Cal leaves is Cami needing to get to camp. After her spending a week away from all her friends, she is beyond excited to go back, which motivates me to get moving.
It’s not until I finally drop her off that I am able to process everything. At least, that is what I had planned before my friends showed up at my front door, each of them carrying a bunch of grocery bags.
“What are you two doing here?” I gawk at Violet and Delilah as they shuffle into the guesthouse.
“We were summoned.” Violet drops her set of plastic bags on the counter.
“By whom?”
Delilah begins unpacking the bags. “Cal.”
I rear back. “Cal asked you to come here? Why?”
“Because he might be an idiot, but at least he’s a thoughtful idiot who knew you would wallow in your misery for a few days before giving us a call.”
I drop on to the couch and cradle my head in my hands. “Oh my God.” My chest tightens to the point of pain.
He called your best friends because he knew you would avoid everyone until you could face them.
The way he can predict my every move… It makes me both happy and sick at the same time. Happy because I found someone who understands me on a cellular level, and sick because that person has all the power to abuse it.
And abuse it he did.
My eyes itch.
Don’t you dare cry.
I rub at them until the tears disappear, although the heaviness pressing against my shoulders remains.
“Did he tell you about…” My voice drifts off as I think better of revealing the inheritance.
“The will?” Violet finishes for me. “Yeah, after he swore us to secrecy.”
“He told you?”
“He didn’t want you to feel obligated to keep a secret like that from us.”
Oh, God. My shoulders slump. Why would he risk the consequence of losing his inheritance for me?
Because he cares.
I shake my head. “I can’t believe he told you about the will.”
“He did emphasize how we couldn’t tell anyone or else his brothers will most likely ruin our lives.” Delilah’s lips press together.
“Either way, I still can’t believe he said anything.”
“He was a bit nervous, but I think only because he didn’t like the idea of leaving you behind.”
My chin trembles.
Delilah drops on to the couch on the other side of me and pulls me into a hug. “It’ll be okay.”