“Ancient history, James,” he said with a dismissive wave of a hand.
“It doesn’t feel so ancient to me knowing my own father arranged for my marriage to disintegrate at the fucking altar in front of a church full of guests.”
“She wasn’t the right wife for you—obviously—and beneath this family. Can you deny you’re better off without her now?”
That last part stung like a bitch because he was right on that one point. I was better off without Leah in my life. But what was worse was knowing how I’d been played by the people who shouldn’t have ever dreamed of playing me. At the time it had been beneficial for Leah to leave.
Beneficial for him and for Ted Robinson.
My father cared only about himself, and that wouldn’t change until the day he took his last breath on this earth. Rage got the upper hand over my self-control and I jumped up from the chair. “Why do you feel entitled to dictate the who and the when I should marry?”
He shrugged. “Because I can, and because it behooves me to have both of my children happily settled with families of their own. Family values will be the impetus of my campaign. Family. Values.” His frustration was beginning to show. “You are going to get some.”
“And how do you suggest I do this?”
He made a sound of disgust. “Do I really have to spell this out for you, son?”
“Since it’s me you’re asking to do this, yeah you do, Dad.”
He settled back into the luxurious leather and let me have it. “Marry a girl from a good family and make her pregnant. I am assuming you can figure that part of it—” He paused, his expression changing to one of interest. “Or get her pregnant first, and then marry her if you prefer.”
“I’m not doing any of—”
“In fact, a surprise pregnancy might work even better to endorse our support of traditional values with a thoroughly modern interpretation.” He tapped his lips with an index finger and looked genuinely pleased for the first time since I’d entered his office.
“Have you lost your mind? I’m not having a child because you dictate it’s time for me to have one to benefit your fucking political ambitions.”
“Careful now,” he warned. “You will do exactly as I’ve outlined. And you will settle down and get to work on creating the picture-perfect family I need standing in support of the legacy I am building. It’s not like I’m asking you to do anything you wouldn’t do eventually, James. People grow up and get married. They have children. It’s the only reason marriage exists. Why are you struggling with this?”
I had to fight off the urge to shudder out my revulsion. The image of myself standing on some podium somewhere having to cheer on my father in support was just too fucking much to have to stomach this early in the day. I didn’t think I could do it.
“You will not fuck this up for me.”
“What if I don’t find someone?”
“I suggest you do if you want to be involved with the choice. If you can’t manage to find a suitable bride on your own, then one will be found for you. A suitable bride, James. Not one of your playthings from the club. Wealth is not as important as an upstanding family background for showing we can relate to solid middle class—”
“Just listen to yourself,” I said disgustedly. “How in the hell do you—”
“Before you ask the question, just know that I can, and I will if you disregard my wishes. I am able to make just about anything happen to suit my needs, and I won’t hesitate to follow through if you fail me.”
“So you’re just taking over my life to serve yourself?” I could hardly wrap my head around this conversation we were having right now.
“You’re thinking too hard, and I am weary of this conversation. I am expecting some forward movement on this issue by Thanksgiving. Your mother so looks forward to having her children home for the day.”
Yeah, and she is the only reason we come. “That’s only three weeks from now.”
He ignored my comment. “Bring your prospective bride around to meet us so we can get to know this new future daughter-in-law who will be mother to my future grandchildren.” The smile he gave looked a bit maniacal. “Children who will have been born to enjoy the honor and privilege of visiting their grandfather in the Oval Office someday.”
Please, God, don’t ever let that happen.
He then returned his attention to whatever document was in front of him and acted as if I wasn’t still in the room. My father was finished with me for the moment, and so I’d been effectively dismissed.
I didn’t remember leaving his office, but once I felt the warmth of the autumn sun seeping through the clouds as I stood among the foot traffic moving in both directions around me, I figured I’d made it out somehow.
I shouldn’t have felt chilled since the sun was out. But I was cold. Cold with fear and worry. Cold with the kind of winter fury that would take ages to melt away.
Winter fury.