Fidelity (Infidelity #5)

I fell to the side of her bed and clutched her hand. “You didn’t know?”

“No, not until a few hours ago.” Her chin fell forward. “They say six weeks. I know your hard limits…” She gasped for breath and looked back up. Her golden eyes were clouded with emotions, too many to decipher. “…but I can’t. I just can’t.”

I couldn’t understand. Her sentences weren’t making sense. “Can’t… what?” And then I heard her words. Six weeks. “Six weeks?”

Charli nodded.

I turned to the doctor. “Is she all right? Do tests. Do whatever you need to do. Is the baby where it should be?” I jumped from the side of the bed and began to pace small circles. “She needs to stay here. No, wait. We need to get her to New York.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I know, my cousin is a doctor. I’ll call her.”

Dr. Beck put his hand on my arm. “Son, calm down. Alexandria is a healthy, strong woman. That kid of yours is zapping her energy and will continue to wreak havoc on her emotions. You’re in for a fun eight months, but physically she’s fine.”

“You know this because you’ve done tests, right?”

“No, I know this because she’s a healthy young woman.”

I shook my head. “No. No. That’s not enough. I want one of those things where we can see it—an ultrasound—and I want it tonight. I want to know where it is.”

“Nox.”

Charli called, but I kept talking to the doctor. “Order it. Now.”

“Nox.”

“Son, where it is… is where it should be.”

“We don’t know. Not until we see it.”

“Lennox!”

“What?” I asked, turning toward Charli.

“Will you please come here?”

Would I come to her? Hell, I’d walk over hot coals. I’d swim through alligators. I’d do any damn thing I needed to do. What I wouldn’t do was put her at risk.

I took a deep breath and went back to her. The gold of her eyes was clearer, brighter. I cupped her cheeks. “You’re not fighting me on this. I need to know. I can’t not know that you’re all right.”

Charli nodded within my grasp. “Dr. Beck,” she said. “Please. I know it’s late and unusual, but can we please have an ultrasound?”

“I can order one for tomorrow.”

Nox sat taller. “Tonight.”

An hour later, with Charli in a wheelchair as a man in scrubs pushed her toward large doors with a sign that read DIAGNOSTIC IMAGING. Our private parade headed inside: the orderly, Charli, the two guards, and me.

“This could have waited until tomorrow,” Charli said for what I think may have been the tenth time.

“No, it couldn’t.”

After the orderly left and our guards moved outside the door, I helped Charli from the wheelchair onto a long table. “You’re not telling me to leave this time.”

She kicked her sock-covered feet back and forth as she reached for my hand. “I don’t want you out.”

“Yet you told Dr. Beck you’d do this alone?”

She moved one shoulder up and down, the neck of her hospital gown falling to the side and exposing her soft skin. “I didn’t tell him I wanted to. I told him I would. I didn’t think you wanted this and I couldn’t not…”

“Princess, I won’t stand by and let anyone… not your stepfather, that asshole Spencer, or even that one…” I nodded toward her stomach. “…hurt you. I can’t wrap my mind around this. I really can’t, but first, let me have the peace of mind to know you’re okay.”

She nodded.

As we waited for the technician, we talked. We even mentioned Jo. It was hard not to, and yet it didn’t feel wrong. It was almost as if she were beside me, encouraging me to do what I hadn’t done before. I recalled what Oren and Silvia had said, saying that my mom had been happy for my dad… that she knew about Adelaide.

Rationally I knew it wasn’t the same.

My mom had been alive. Jo was dead.

Nevertheless, I understood what that support must have meant to Oren. I wanted it from Jo. I prayed she was with us, beside me. I longed to let her know that I’d never forget her. I wanted to believe we had the kind of love that transcended loss. I wanted to think that she was happy for me—for us. I wanted her to know that I could do better. I could be the man I wasn’t for her. I could be that man for Charli, because in loving and losing her, I’d grown.

I prayed she knew that I was sorry I’d failed her, but with failure came wisdom.

I would have given my own life to save hers. Now I felt the same way about Charli.

Charli pulled my hand as she sat on the edge of the table. Quietly, she wiped my cheek.

I didn’t realize I’d been crying.

“It’s all right,” Charli said, “to think about her and the baby you lost.”

I shook my head. “No, I am, but not like you may think.”

“I think you lost two important people and now you’re faced with the possibility of history repeating itself. It won’t. I told you before that I would keep the promise she couldn’t. I never intended for this to happen. That doesn’t mean I won’t work to keep my promise.”