Fidelity (Infidelity #5)

“No!” My shouts were no longer contained to my dreams. They echoed through the room, waking both Nox and me.

Nox pulled me close to his chest. The woodsy scent settled in my senses, replacing the aroma of the damp Savannah night air. With time, my breathing slowed as his steady heartbeat calmed my own. With both of us fully awake, he rolled me to my back. Hovering above me, he brushed his lips over mine. “I’m only going to ask you this once, but princess, I need you to be honest.”

Closing my eyes, I nodded. It hadn’t been our first awakening of the night. Nox wanted honesty. I’d give it, even if it meant he’d hate me.

“What’s your name?”

My eyes blinked at his strange question.

“Alexandria.”

He kissed my nose. “You’re my Charli and you always will be.”

His words washed through me, so simple and yet so poignant.

“Did he do more than kiss you?”

How to answer that? I took a deep breath and swallowed my tears. “Yes.”

Nox’s body hardened as every muscle tensed. In the dim morning light, the bulging vein in his forehead pulsated. His lips pressed together as emotion emanated from his every pore, momentarily souring the air between us. I tried to look away, but his contrasting tone kept my eyes on him.

“Was it consensual, more diversion, like the kiss?”

I shook my head and lowered my chin to my chest.

“Tell me.” The control he was exercising was waning.

With my face still hidden, I shook my head again. “He didn’t. We didn’t… sex.” More tears interrupted my words. “He threatened. I told him no, but… if…”

I shouldn’t have gotten in that car.

“If?” Nox encouraged.

“If I hadn’t gone with Alton…”

“That was done. What more? What if?”

“If it weren’t for Pat and Cy… showing up… Bryce said he would… he said he was going to… he threatened…”

Nox pulled me close. “Fucking bastard.”

“Do you hate me?” I asked. “I’m sorry…”

Nox rose to his elbows hovering above me, his eyes meeting mine, forcing our stare, our connection. I searched the blue for answers. What did I see? Anger and regret, yes, but also unquestionably love.

“Be sorry you got in that car,” his deep voice commanded. “Never do it again. Anything beyond that is not your fault. It’s not you who should be sorry. It’s me. I’m sorry I didn’t storm the damn castle sooner.” His volume rose. “Fuck Chelsea and your mom. If that makes me a monster, so be it. You are and will always be my biggest priority.

“I’m sorry you had to fight off that asshole by yourself. I’m sorry Pat was your savior when it should have been me. I’m sorry that douche bag is still walking the earth. As it is, he’s a dead man walking.

“No one and I mean no one should scare you like that.”

The tears were back, coating my cheeks as Nox kissed me again.

“And yet you asked me to make love to you last night?”

I nodded as my answer came in phrases. “I did and it felt right… I love you, Lennox Demetri… I don’t ever want to be with anyone else… I’m sorry I put myself—”

His finger touched my lips. “No more apologizing. I promised to punish you for getting in that car and putting the most important person in the world in danger. I promised that when we spoke on the phone. But,” he added, “not for anything else. There are others who will be punished. And I promise you, when I’m done, your ass will be sore, but others will be dead.”

“You’re not being literal, are you?”

“Yes, your ass will be sore.”

I shook my head. “Not about that.”

“Sleep. I’m here now. No more nightmares.”

I clung to Nox’s chest, allowing his woodsy scent and hard muscles to be my new blanket. Did I want Bryce dead? I couldn’t wish death on anyone, not even Alton. I wanted them both to suffer. I wanted them to get what they deserved for treating my mother and me the way they had. I wanted to be rid of them—forever.

Was that the same as wanting them dead?

As time passed, Nox’s breathing evened and I accepted his promises.

I didn’t fully understand the way he made me feel or the blind trust I had in him, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t real.

I wanted it. I craved it.

I craved the release that I knew would come with accepting his punishment, delivered not in anger, but in love.

I also understood that his punishment wouldn’t be for getting in the car, but for disobeying him, for breaking the promise I’d made to him—the promise to keep myself safe, the promise Jocelyn had also failed to keep. He’d punish me because I put the one person he loved in danger.

He’d be right. My nightmares confirmed it. I’d been in danger.