Fidelity (Infidelity #5)

It was also the room where Oren stayed when he was here. His bed was still present. I found it more than a little odd that it was where he’d chosen to create her makeshift hospital room, but after what he’d told me about the flight, moving her to another room didn’t seem like the appropriate course of action.

After his story, I wasn’t sure what I’d find when he opened the door. The reality was better than my imagination. My mother appeared peaceful, her hair brushed and nightgown fresh. Her complexion had a hint of pink and her wrists weren’t tethered. The constant beeping provided comfort as the monitors confirmed her heart was beating and a small tube delivered oxygen through her nose.

On a shiny silver pole hung a bag of what I’d learned was simply saline solution. A thin tube delivered the hydration to her arm. Hanging from the bed was a clear bag to monitor her fluid output.

The nurse explained that they’d need to resume intravenous nutrition if she didn’t wake soon. In the meantime, they were working to keep her hydrated. I’d been pleased to hear that the doctor believed that most of the opioid hydrocodone and alcohol should by now be purged from her system, decreasing the likelihood of future DTs.

Liz, the nurse, confirmed that my mother did have three broken ribs. Apparently they’d been able to see with some kind of portable x-ray machine. The length to which Nox’s family had gone to help my mother utterly amazed me. The doctor or nurse had taped my momma’s sides to ease the pain. She also explained that not much could be done about broken ribs. Only time. Perhaps it was the doctor I was waiting for, or maybe it was Nox. He should be landing soon. For whatever reason, I found it difficult to leave my mother’s side despite the fact that soon the sun would rise on the other side of the draperies. During my exploration I’d discovered that, like the room I shared with Nox, this one also had a balcony overlooking the sound.

“Miss Collins, do you mind if I go to the kitchen? Everything is stable. If you need me or Dr. Rossi, push the button on the intercom.”

I forced a smile. “Thanks, Liz. I’ll stay with her.”

After the door shut, I placed my tea on a table and walked to my mother’s side. I stood silently holding my breath, watching as her chest rose and fell. Then letting out the air, I reached for her hand.

“Momma, I’m here.” My voice choked with emotion. “You’re going to get better. That’s what Liz said. She’s your nurse, yours. I don’t know how they did it, but the Demetris got all of this for you.”

I looked around the room again, taking in the spacious suite. Oren had stepped out earlier and now with Liz in the kitchen, for the first time my momma and I were alone.

“I think you’ll like it here. It’s not Montague Manor and that’s a good thing. It’s a home, a lovely home. Wait until you meet Silvia. She’s so welcoming. Things have happened here…” I thought again about Jocelyn and wondered about Nox’s mom. “Yet it feels warm. Not a temperature, but the way it makes me feel, as if I belong.” I took a ragged breath. “I’m sorry if… I-I wish…”

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.

“Momma, please get better. Don’t think about Montague Manor. We don’t need anything from any of them ever again. Let them have it all. There’s so much to tell you. Bryce was…” I stopped, remembering Oren’s request for positivity. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing is worth what that place has taken. What Alton…” Damn, it was impossible to stay positive and tell her what had happened.

I took a deep breath. “When I finish school I’ll work. I will. I don’t want Nox to feel as if he has to, but he’s promised that he’ll help us until then.” I wiped away the tears that wouldn’t stop. “Please get better and when you do, stay with me, with us.”

I let it all out—the last two weeks. That was such a short time in the span of a life and yet in even less than that, in only ten days, so much had happened. I didn’t know if she could hear me, but I wanted to tell her. Part of me was afraid that this would be the only chance I had.

“Oren, Nox’s dad, wants us to say only good things and not upset you. I don’t want to upset you, but there are a few things I need to say.” My breath stuttered as I gulped air. “I know I haven’t been a good daughter, but you haven’t been a good mom.” My eyes closed, forcing more tears to fall. As they dripped from my chin, I imagined her living the last twenty years as I had the last ten days. My childhood hadn’t been good, but it hadn’t been the hell I faced marrying Bryce, living with his cruelty day after day. The anger I’d allowed to fester inside of me morphed to empathy. “I think I understand. I think you tried. I get that. I can see things differently than I used to. I’m sorry.”

The ivory dress I’d worn earlier was gone. I was wearing a sweatshirt and yoga pants. I wasn’t sure if they were Silvia’s or if Deloris had arranged for me to have clothes. I didn’t care as long as I was out of that dress and heels. I knelt beside the bed, still clinging to my mother’s hand and rested my forehead on the edge of the mattress.

“Don’t leave me. I know I left you, but I wasn’t really gone. I was away. I-I don’t know what I’d do…”