And it had slipped out so easily…
How could a person be without another person for so long and still feel like no time had passed? Everything fell exactly into place from the second I'd seen her on the beach earlier that day. Like I'd been in a dark room and someone had turned the light on. Even now, her body molded exactly right against mine.
I hadn't been a saint in the time that we'd been apart. In fact, there had been a year there where I'd gone buck wild. In hindsight it was easy to see the reason behind it. Every girl I slept with had been a pathetic attempt to recreate what I'd had with Melissa. And every one had failed. I hadn't broken hearts. Tried to keep it real and let my partners know what I wanted and made sure they wanted the same. A night of good, healthy sex. But in the end, I'd always walked away long before daybreak feeling a little more hollowed out, like a pumpkin on Halloween.
Beth had been too tall, so her breasts didn't hit me right in the abs, and her arms didn't curl around my waist when we hugged.
Karla had been too loud in bed. Instead of the soft, sweet moans that I loved wringing from Melissa, she was much more vocal.
Hannah's skin hadn't been as soft, Theresa's lips hadn't felt like two pillows against mine. Every one of them had been just perfect...for some other guy.
But none of them was Melissa.
And the fact was, she was all I wanted. So I'd let go of the subconscious quest to find a replacement and had settled into a nice little routine of having a few friends with benefits when the nights got too lonely.
I shifted, getting a better grip on her as we walked, gritting my teeth the way I did every time the follow-up to that thought wormed its way into my brain.
What did Melissa do when the nights got too lonely?
I shut it down ruthlessly and reminded myself that I had no right to ask. We were long over, dead in the water, done.
So why did it feel so good? It would be all too easy to slip right back into the space we'd been in four years before. Except for the fact that the wedge between us was still there. Oh, and the fact that she hated me.
I risked a glance down at her to find her still glaring up at me. She had every right to do it. I'd overstepped big time. There was no way in hell I was going to let some Spring Break asshole out for a piece of tail take advantage of her obvious drunkenness, but I should’ve drawn the line at making references to our history together while she was in my arms like this.
Major breach.
I blew out a sigh and tried to talk myself down. I was still pissed just thinking about that guy’s hands on her, and now, to compound it, I was feeling guilty.
"I'm sorry. I don’t know why I said that. It just slipped out. I won't let it happen again."
Her bottom lip started to shake and my stomach dropped to the floor. Jesus, I hated it when she cried. It felt like my whole world was crumbling when she cried and there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to fix it.
"Lissa, I swear. If you just let me get you to your room, I'll walk away and you'll never have to see me again. Please don't cry. I can't stand when you cry." I slowed my steps as we approached the hotel elevator and peered down at her. "Give me your floor number."
She jerked her chin away, eyes still glassy with tears as I pushed the Up button. The elevator doors slid open and I walked in.
"Come on, we’ve come this far. Just press the button."
For a second, I was sure she was going to defy me, but she reached out a finger and punched the number eight. We rode up in silence, and it felt like the longest elevator ride in history. She was dying to get away from me. I could feel the tension in her body, like a coil ready to spring, and it was killing me.
The fight was only a few days away, and I knew I was supposed to be dry for the week, but the second I dropped her off I was heading back to my own room and cracking open the mini-bar. Maybe that would stop the memories that were still coming in waves.
The door slid open and I stepped out, pausing for her to give me directions.
She jerked a thumb wordlessly to the right. I got down three doors before she stopped me.
"This is it."
I wrestled with my conscience. Should I leave her there? How could I when she was clearly still drunk? I made an executive decision and set her down, keeping a steadying hand on her arm as she dug through the pockets of her shorts to fish out her room key card. She slid it into the slot and the lights blinked green.
I shoved the door wide open with my foot and helped her into the room, kicking it closed behind me.