Dan’s hands settled on her waist, encouraging her to wrap her arms around his neck and slide her fingers into his hair. Her lips were a hairsbreadth from his mouth, his breath a hot temptation against her face, and she dared him—dared him—to take this further. Right here, right now, with at least a dozen of the resort’s other guests watching.
But he didn’t. Dammit. “Thought we had nothing to be ashamed of.” His voice was low and gritty and she could tell he was on edge too, but he was too proper, too concerned about respecting her, to let them tumble over that invisible line of social appropriateness.
“We don’t.” And because she’d never shied away from being the aggressor in their relationship—unlike him—she kissed him.
But just like his palms gliding tentatively up her back, his kiss was soft and tender and not at all what she wanted. She was done with sweet and romantic—she needed hot and hard and intense. Dirty, even. Indecent.
She wanted everyone around them to witness how much she needed him. To understand the things he made her feel and to know that she’d cross all boundaries to show him the same.
She trusted him more than anyone. Loved him more than she thought possible. And she craved him in a way she’d never craved any man before.
Would he understand the extent of her desire? Would he feed the hunger she could no longer hold back?
Eager to find out, she pressed her chest against his, let him feel how hot and aroused she was, and deepened the kiss, moaning when he bid her entrance to taste the sweet alcohol on his tongue. When his hand twisted roughly—blessedly—in her hair, she damn near purred.
Yes! Let them see what you do to me!
But just as quickly as the kiss heated up, it ended.
“Maddie, sweetheart.” Dan broke their exchange with a breathless sigh. “What is this?”
If only she could explain without making him wonder what kind of woman he married.
No, she knew their relationship was solid. Dan had always been willing to indulge her other, less secret fantasies. Maybe he’d welcome this one as well.
But there was always the chance he wouldn’t. Maybe he didn’t have it in him, which would explain why he hadn’t acted on it thus far. And that scared the crap out of her. Worse, she feared the way he looked at her might change and, if that were the case, she’d be devastated.
Feeling like a fool, she removed herself from his arms and stood quickly, acutely aware of all the eyes that had turned their way. Exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...” Before he could try and assuage something he didn’t yet understand, she turned and hurried away..
Behind the safety of the restroom door, she tipped her head back against the heavy wood and let out a shaky breath. She’d been Mrs. Daniel Hudson for less than twenty-four hours and already the fear of living up to her husband’s expectations—of disappointing him—threatened to consume her.
If she was honest, this wasn’t a new development. She’d felt the pressure, the unease...the fear for months now. And, though she’d used it as an excuse, this disquiet had absolutely nothing to do with the things Dan refrained from telling her.
This was all about her. And the secrets she kept.
Bracing her hands against the cool, tiled counter, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. A new bride was supposed to glow. To radiate love and passion and a myriad of other blissed out emotions. Instead, there were shadows beneath her eyes and lines of tension drawing down her normally bright disposition.
She had to get a grip and she had to get it fast. This was her honeymoon, for God’s sake, and she was ruining it with this obsessive uncertainty.
The sweet scent of gardenias in a vase near the sink, just like the ones in their suite, tickled her nose. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, images from the night before flooding her mind from all directions. She swallowed hard against the not-so-sudden burn of desire rising in her belly and spreading to her breasts and her throat.
Maybe she had a sex addiction. She’d read about those in Cosmo a few months back and the shoe seemed to fit. But then why wouldn’t it? She and Dan were young and their sex life had always been amazing. It was only natural to want more, wasn’t it?
She wet a paper towel with cold water, pressed it against the back of her neck, and studied the woman staring back at her. She had an MBA and a successful career as an accountant; she was supposed to look uptight, prudish even. Not wanton. Not like a woman who wanted her man every which way possible and then upside down for good measure.
And then there was Dan. She’d known a few lawyers in her time that weren’t the straight arrows their overpriced suits made them out to be. But he wasn’t one of those guys. Sure, he’d indulged her experimental side a time or two, but those rare occasions had wound up being nothing more than one-offs.
She wished he would’ve enjoyed those intimacies as much as she had, because she was going crazy with a longing for a connection more intense than she’d ever experienced before. And she wanted it with her husband.