He frowned. “What do you want to do then?”
“I don’t know, but I think this is another reason why I’m scared of marriage. I don’t know me anymore. I’m a junior, and I should know what I want to do. I should have a major declared by now.”
“Sam.” He scooted his chair closer. “Logan just realized that himself. I think it’s kind of normal. I only knew what I wanted to do because I’ve known since junior high it was business or football. I’ve always loved taking pieces of shit down on the field.” His mouth twisted up in a rakish grin. “Or I’d be my own boss. No way is someone else going to give me orders. I’ve got some authority issues, just like Logan. I just show them in a different way.”
I nodded. “I know, and I know Logan just figured out what he wants to do, but I still have no clue. How can I commit to a future if I don’t know who I want to be in the future?”
“We talked about this. It’s okay. We’ll take our time. We don’t have to do anything right now. Shit. We technically still have a month left of summer, too.”
He made sense. I tried to tell myself that, but I didn’t like this feeling. Now that I’d realized what was wrong, I wanted to fix it. I didn’t want to be lost anymore.
“Sam.” Mason scooted even closer, his knees touching mine now. He took my hand in his. “You can take all the time you want. I’m not going anywhere. Logan isn’t either. You’re not going to lose us, no matter what you do.”
I laced our fingers together.
“I don’t like not knowing myself,” I admitted.
He squeezed my hand. “Then get to know yourself.”
I laughed. “It’s so simple to you. You’ve always known.”
He shrugged. “You will too. It’s just coming at a different pace.”
“Thanks, Mason.”
His eyes darkened and, then I was on his lap. His hands found my waist, and leaning back in his chair, he held me anchored over him.
“You never have to thank me, but if you really feel obligated . . .” He winked, and his teasing intention was clear as his hand slid under my shirt, and he sat up to find my lips.
We moved to the bed after a moment, and all talk ceased.
“Where exactly did you lose yourself? Maybe we could retrace our steps. You could find yourself where you last saw yourself?”
“Har har.” I rolled my eyes.
Logan was walking me to the career center on campus. It was Monday morning, which would normally make the quad filled with students, except we were a month early. The only students around were those who’d stayed to take summer classes, or athletes, like Mason, who were starting their practices already.
I looked over the lush green lawns and sidewalks crisscrossing the quad. It was peaceful and eerie all at the same time.
“I’m going to talk to someone and probably take a test, because I have no idea what I want to do with my future.”
He grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Let me help you with that. I’m Logan Kade.” He pointed to himself, then to me. “You’re Samantha Strattan. You’ve been boning my brother for almost four years.”
He held his hand out, and I ignored it. “Har har. So funny.”
“I amuse myself.”
“You make jokes, but you know what I mean. I was picking up trash at the local carnival this summer. If that isn’t a cry for help, I don’t know what is.”
“Don’t knock the carnies. They have deep pockets we may need someday.”
And I really ignored that one. I could see the career center ahead on our right and picked up speed.
“I know you could’ve spent all day with Taylor,” I told him. “So I appreciate you coming with me.”
He shrugged. “Your guy’s in football all day. My woman’s hanging out with her posse. Seemed fitting that you and I spend the day together.”
I reached for the door, but he grabbed it, holding it open for me.
“I’ll admit, I didn’t envision the career center when you asked if I’d go to campus with you. I thought we’d hit up the cafeteria—sneak in and get free food or something.”
“We can do that later.”
We were crossing through the lobby when I heard my name being called.
I looked up to find one of my track coaches coming down the stairs.
“Coach Carillo. Hey.”
In his mid-forties, with dark black hair and a few specks of gray, he was dressed completely in Cain University apparel. A whistle hung from his neck.
He eyed Logan as he held out his hand. “Logan Kade, right?”
“Yes, sir.” Logan shook his hand. “We’ve met once or twice over the years at Sam’s meets.”
“Mason Kade’s brother.”
“Right again.”
He nodded, a look of approval on his face. His turned back to me and narrowed his eyes slightly. “What are you doing here?”
“I was going to see a career counselor.”
“No, I mean, what are you doing in this building?” He pushed back his sleeve and looked at his watch. “Cross-country is starting today. Why aren’t you there?”
“Oh.”
I never joined the cross-country team because of the time commitment it would require. It was a fall sport, just like football, and finding time to spend with Mason was already challenging enough when he was playing. It’d be almost impossible if I joined a sports team with a season at the same time. Besides, track had been my forte since freshman year.
“I never joined,” I confessed.
“What?” His eyes bulged, and he crossed his arms over his clipboard. “Are you kidding me? Why wouldn’t you join? Your running times are amazing. You’d be one of the best on the team.”
“I . . .”
I gave Logan a look. I didn’t know what to say. I should explain to my coach that I chose not to join the team so I could spend time with my boyfriend? I didn’t think he’d respect that.
I shrugged instead. “It’s just a decision I made. I’ve been content with doing track only.”
He shook his head. “You’re here to see a career counselor, but, Sam, I really urge you to join the cross-country team. They could use a runner like you. You know what? Come to my office tomorrow. I’d like to talk about this some more with you.” He lowered his head; his eyes still meeting mine. “Would you do that?”
“Uh . . . sure. Yeah.”
He nodded. “Good.” He seemed to relax and pressed the clipboard against his side. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Clapping Logan on the shoulder, he moved for the door. “It was nice meeting you again, Kade.”
“You too.” Logan waited until the door closed. “Why didn’t you just tell him the truth? You didn’t join because of Mason, right?”
“Because he wouldn’t understand.”
Logan snorted. “You’re being that girl.”
We’d started down the hallway toward the counselors’ offices, but I stopped. “What does that mean?”
“You know. That girl.” He grinned. “The chick who puts her boyfriend first.”
Fallen Crest Forever (Fallen Crest High #7)
Tijan's books
- Dark Lycan (Carpathian)
- A Whole New Crowd
- BROKEN AND SCREWED(Broken_Part One)
- Fallen Crest High
- Fallen Crest Public
- Davy Harwood (The Immortal Prophecy #1)
- Sustain
- Fallen Fourth Down (Fallen Crest #4)
- Mason (Fallen Crest High 0.5)
- Fallen Crest Family (Fallen Crest High #2)
- Fallen Crest Alternative Version (Fallen Crest High #2.1)
- Fallen Crest University (Fallen Crest High #5)