I used the wagging finger to playfully shove him away. “Since when haven’t you had the upper hand?” I was joking. Kind of.
“Really?” He loomed up to hold himself above me again. “You think I always have?”
I laughed and twisted away from his kiss, but I didn’t go far. He caught me and rolled me back under him. He tried to kiss me, but I kept turning my head.
Part of me believed what I’d said. Mason did have the upper hand. Not in a bad way, like he lorded it over me, but he was the leader. He was the leader of all of us, and in that dynamic, it wasn’t just him and me. It was him, Logan, and me. And really, that had expanded to include Nate and Taylor too. We were a fivesome fearsome, with an extended sixth member: Matteo. It was a matter of time before he was all the way in.
Mason’s lips landed on my collarbone and he whispered there, “You think it’s an unfair dynamic between us?”
Did I?
I was almost panting, loving the touch of him, but I knew the answer. I turned to look at him squarely. “Yes.”
He sat back on his heels between my legs. “You think that? For real?”
I nodded. The light, sexual banter was gone. Something more serious took its place.
“Am I wrong to think that?”
He shook his head. His eyes were troubled. “No.” His hands rested on my legs. “But I don’t like that you think we’re not equal. We are.”
I sat up, resting my hands over his, and tilted my head to look up at him. “I don’t mean it in a bad way. We love each other equally. We protect each other equally, but I’ve been content to let you run the show. I blame me, Mason.”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
“It’s part of this whole epiphany I had the other week. I have to work on me. I’ve let my voice go away. It’s not that I wasn’t heard. It’s that I didn’t think to say anything. You and Logan make decisions for us, and I know you’re just protecting us, but I can help make decisions too. It’s you and him. You guys sequester yourselves at times and don’t include me. I know Taylor’s not included.”
He frowned. “Taylor?”
The relationship between Mason and Logan’s girlfriend just wasn’t there. Taylor was the first girlfriend of Logan’s Mason approved of, but I knew he was a long way from including her in the serious talks. She and Logan had been together almost a year, but it’d be longer before Mason trusted her fully, if that ever happened.
I wasn’t sure Mason would ever really trust anyone except Logan and me. That’s just how he was.
He cupped the back of my neck. “Then I have to come clean about something.”
I pulled back. His hand still held me, but I wanted some space. “What?”
He cringed.
“What is it?” I was right. Something else was going on. “Are you not going to Vegas? What are you really doing?”
“We’re going to Fallen Crest.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to ask your mom to ask James for a favor.”
My blood turned cold. “What?”
“I want information on that girl from your team. I want to know if my dad knows anything.”
“You’re going to use my mom?” My voice rose.
This wasn’t cool. It wasn’t cool at all. I pulled out of his hold, scurrying back against the headboard. I hugged my knees against me and wrapped my arms around them. “You were going to lie to me about that?”
“I . . .”
He was. He was going to completely lie to me, and I wouldn’t have had any clue. My entire body felt chilled. “Mason, I—”
“Sam.”
I climbed off the bed. I didn’t like this. It was after midnight. We’d just had amazing sex, and then he was going to lie through his teeth? And about my mom? This wasn’t Mason. This wasn’t the guy I fell in love with. I shook my head and started dressing.
“What are you doing?”
I had no idea what to say. My mind was scrambling, and I wanted to run. “I can’t believe you were going to lie to me.”
“I’m sorry. I am.”
I grabbed my pants, pulled them on, and switched my pajama shirt with a tank top. Reaching for an oversized sweatshirt, I whirled around. I slammed the sweatshirt down on the floor, still holding it by the sleeve. “You do this, you know.”
“What are you talking about?” He moved to the edge of the bed. He was naked, but he was so confident—if I’d been him, I would’ve pulled the sheet to hide myself. Not him. He had a gorgeous, mouth-watering body, but it was more. It was his authority. His confidence. He didn’t question himself. He didn’t doubt himself. I didn’t think he’d ever been self-conscious in his life. He probably had no idea how.
I was jealous of him.
Pulling my sweatshirt on, I just kept shaking my head. “When we first started dating, you went after Adam. I had no say. I would’ve rather not had you guys deal with the Academy Elite at all, but I understood it. You were doing it to protect me, but in some ways, it made things harder for me. And then Logan outed me when he hugged me at that football game. He didn’t even think that maybe I wasn’t ready for everyone to know I knew you guys. Or even with Kate. You guys had a whole plan for how to deal with her, with video and everything. I wasn’t included. Then the frat house. If you had asked, I never would’ve been okay with you guys burning it down. I mean, my God, you burned a house down! That’s insane. But you guys did it, and everyone in the know was supposed to be okay with it.”
More and more started bubbling up, but this wasn’t Mason. I wasn’t mad at him.
I was mad at me.
He opened his mouth. I saw the regret in his eyes, and I knew he was going to apologize.
I held my hand up. “This isn’t you.” I softened my voice. “This is me. I’m angry with myself because I never spoke up. I’ve been—”
What the hell had I been doing? Holding on to them? Hoping they’d never leave me? Being beyond scared they’d abandon me like everyone else had? I forced out a breath.
These were the guys who didn’t leave. They hadn’t left. They never would leave.
Mason always said it. He was the forever guy.
I hadn’t been letting myself believe that. I hadn’t pushed my way in so they could hear me, though I knew they would.
They weren’t the problem.
He wasn’t the problem.
I was.
“I’m sorry. I have to go.” I slipped on my shoes and headed out into the hallway.
He followed me. “Where are you going?”
I grabbed my purse and keys. “I have no idea, but I have to go somewhere.”
“Sam!”
I was out the door and heading for my car.
He paused in the opened doorway. “Sam!”
I turned and waved as I got in the car. “I’ll be fine. I just need to think. That’s it.”
My blood rushed through me, my thoughts bouncing all around my head. I felt panicked, but what I’d said was right. I was the problem. I still had to fix me.
I left, and I had no clue where I was going.
It was the middle of the night, and I was being stupid.
Fallen Crest Forever (Fallen Crest High #7)
Tijan's books
- Dark Lycan (Carpathian)
- A Whole New Crowd
- BROKEN AND SCREWED(Broken_Part One)
- Fallen Crest High
- Fallen Crest Public
- Davy Harwood (The Immortal Prophecy #1)
- Sustain
- Fallen Fourth Down (Fallen Crest #4)
- Mason (Fallen Crest High 0.5)
- Fallen Crest Family (Fallen Crest High #2)
- Fallen Crest Alternative Version (Fallen Crest High #2.1)
- Fallen Crest University (Fallen Crest High #5)