Eye Candy

Bancroft adjusts his tie, then stuffs his hand back in his pocket, exhaling a low whistle. He clears his throat, but it doesn’t help much with the gravel in it. “A little too much.”

I bet he has a wicked hard-on right now. I wonder how long I have to wait before I can get my hands on it, or more exciting parts of my body.

“Banny!” A collective group-cringe accompanies the shrill sound.

I know that voice. I know it well. It’s Brittany Thorton. I call her Brittany Whore-ton. Because it’s fitting and sometimes I’m juvenile. She also wants to sink her claws into my man. She uses the fact that she’s known him her entire life as an excuse to hug him every time she sees him. Two broken arms would make that rather difficult.

Back before Bancroft and I were dating, he went out with her once. It was the same night we met.

As expected, she ignores me and throws her arms around his neck like she does every single time. God, I hate her so much. “You have got to be kidding me. Who the hell invited her?” I mutter.

Amie shrugs and Lex watches the interaction with amusement.

I have no idea what her costume is supposed to be. Her dress barely covers her ass, which is typical based on what I’ve seen her wear at other events. She shows up everywhere we are. It’s one of the pitfalls of being connected to all these people with money. They invite each other to everything.

I glare at Bancroft, who’s smart enough not to hug her back with the same level of enthusiasm. In fact, he barely pats her back. He touches her. That’s enough to make me consider using my whip to strangle her.

When she finally lets go of him her nose crinkles. “Who’re you supposed to be?”

She sucks a lollipop into her mouth. Pushing it to the side, she creates a bulge in her cheek.

“Bruce Wayne.”

“Oh.” She tilts her head as if she doesn’t understand. Shrugging, she pulls the lollipop out with a suctiony sound. I want to shove that damn thing up her left nostril. “Are you in the auction again? I brought my checkbook!”

“I’m not a bachelor this year.” Bane looks like he’s trying to keep his smile under control. He knows how much I loathe Brittany, especially when she ignores me on purpose and gets all touchy-feely with him. He thinks it’s funny when I get worked up about it. Probably because the sex afterward is extra feisty. He often comes away with scratches post–Brittany encounters, and then struts around without a shirt on so I can see the damage I’ve done.

“Oh, right. I forgot. You have a girlfriend.”

Lex coughs to cover his laughter. He knows just as well as Bancroft how much Brittany’s continued interest in Bane irritates me.

I push my way between them, wrap one arm around his back and slide one under the lapel of his suit. If it wouldn’t cause a huge scene I’d stick my tongue right down his throat just to make a point, or grab his crotch, but that would be pushing the line a lot. “Hi, Brittany, it’s so great to see you again!” I put on my best fake friendly smile.

“Oh! Hi, Rosemary! I didn’t even see you there.”

I don’t correct her on my name. She purposely gets it wrong every single time. Or she’s just too dim to remember.

“Did you know Lexington is up for auction tonight?”

Lex shoots daggers at me, but flashes a smile when Brittany turns her grin on him.

“Oh my God! Lexy!” She launches herself at him. He catches her, wrapping one arm around her waist as she clings to his neck. I unfurl my whip and make like I’m going to strangle her. Lex’s white-toothed grin widens, but changes to a cringe when he gets hit in the face with her hair.

Bancroft’s chest presses against my back and his mouth is suddenly at my ear. “Don’t be catty.”

I elbow him in the ribs. “Such a bad joke.”

When Brittany finally lets go of “Lexy” she drags her hands down his bare chest. “Oh wow! I love your costume. What’re you?”

“A gladiator.”

“Of course.” Her nose crinkles and she touches the sword holster at his waist, running her finger down the length. “So like, is this similar to a highlander? You know, the whole kilt, no underwear thing?”

Seriously. I detest this chick so much.

Lex smirks. If flirting were a profession, he’d be the CEO of the company. He leans in and says something none of us can hear.

Her giggle tells me he’s in full-on flirt mode. “I’ll be sure to bid on you. Daddy said I could spend as much as I want this year.” She winks exaggeratedly and licks her lollipop.

His eyebrows lift. “Lucky me.”

Judging from her smile, she entirely misses the sarcasm. It’s amazing that he’s able to flirt so shamelessly when even he’s admitted his disdain for her.

He settles his hands on her hips and moves back a step so she’s not in his personal space anymore and looks her over. “What’s your costume?”

“I’m the lollipop girl.”

“Right. Of course you are.”

After a few beats of silence and a muffled cough from Bancroft, she bounces on her toes, her boobs nearly popping out of her dress. “Okay! Well, I’m going to say hi to some more people. See you all later!” And off she goes.

“Wow.” Lex blows out a breath.

I turn to say something to Amie and notice, first, that she’s watching Brittany sashay across the room with the same level of absolute loathing as I usually do. She’s such a great best friend. It’s why I put up with Armstrong. That and I really have no other choice. It’s actually quite nice that he couldn’t make it tonight. As I observe Brittany interacting with another group of debutantes, I note a very familiar-looking man headed straight for Amie, dressed as Peter Pan, jaunty cap perched on his head and everything.

It takes me a moment to place him. He’s one of Amie’s exes. “Oh shit.” I grab her arm. “Three o’clock. The panty eater.” Of all of Amie’s exes, he’s one I never would’ve considered inviting to an event, because I’m pretty sure he’s certifiable. I did however slip an invite to a couple of the ones who aren’t crazy, but who were definitely enamored of her, likely because she wasn’t interested in whatever they were offering for more than a date or two.

Amie’s eyes go wide and she glances over. It’s too late to escape. He’s only fifteen feet away and closing in fast. “Who invited him?” she hisses.

“I have no idea.” It’s the truth, too. As bad as I feel for Amie right now, I almost wish Armstrong was here to witness this, because I’m pretty sure it’s going to be epic. He also needs to understand just how fully obsessed some of Amie’s exes are with her.

His smile is almost manic as he closes the gap. “Amie. It’s so good to see you.”

Before she has a chance to respond at all, he wraps his arms around her and buries his face in her neck, turning his head so his nose is pretty much in her hair. Her hands are frozen in the air, fingers spread wide as if she’s being electrocuted. I can’t see her face, but I imagine it’s filled with horror.

Bancroft’s mouth is at my ear. “Who the hell is that?”