Unable to find sleep or peace, I crawled out of bed and braved the chill of night. I crept downstairs like I was a burglar in my own house. I knew no one else was there, but I couldn’t help feeling like I was doing something wrong.
Or maybe I was doing something right for the first time in a long time.
I pulled the picture from the closet and with shaking hands and trembling limbs, I rehung it on the wall.
I stepped back and stared at it.
It wasn’t a solution, but I felt a little better.
At least when I lay back down in bed, I could finally fall asleep.
Chapter Twenty
27. Second chances are a myth.
By the middle of January, school had started back up again and Nick and I had been through our second round of mediation.
We’d gotten nowhere.
Neither of us was willing to give up the house or the dog.
Mr. Cavanaugh had been exhausted by the end of it and Ryan Templeton had been contemplating murder of the first degree in his head. I wasn’t sure for whom, but if I had to guess, I would have picked me.
He probably wanted to run me over in his expensive sports car. I bet it was something beyond pretentious.
Poor Marty, the mediator, was beyond exhausted. He had wanted to speak with us both separately. Neither Nick nor I would comply.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Nick. I mostly didn’t trust his slimy lawyer.
I had begun to hate Nick’s lawyer with the fire of a thousand suns. He wasn’t the only one contemplating homicide during mediation.
Every time Nick looked close to breaking, Ryan would whisper something in his ear that would make Nick clench his jaw tight and turn him completely unreasonable.
Ryan Templeton was like the devil on Nick’s shoulder, whispering all kinds of evil things.
Nick needed an angel telling him to do good, nice things. Things that ended mediation with giving the dog and the house to me.
Okay, so maybe Ryan wasn’t the devil on his shoulder. Maybe I was.
I had tried to look at this rationally or from his point of view. But I couldn’t. My pain was too blinding. My need to keep the things I loved and that still loved me was consuming. I couldn’t let Nick have any of it.
I didn’t mind if he took the TV or the furniture or even my car. But I needed the house.
And I needed the dog.
I wouldn’t be able to live without those things.
I shook my head and tried to focus on the day. My second and third-hour classes were trading places. Students pushed through the door and chatted animatedly.
I continued to get ready for class while students took their seats. The second bell finally rang and I was happy to see that the majority of my students were in their places. A few stragglers raced in just as the bell stopped ringing and I waved my hand at their pleading faces.
“Be on time tomorrow,” I warned them.
They promised that they would be, even though we both knew they were lying. Tomorrow I would have to write them up. But it was only Monday.
I gave grace on Monday because Monday was the definition of awful.
I glanced around the room and noticed a few empty desks. Two of the kids had been excused from school today for a debate team meet, but one hadn’t been shared with me.
“Does anyone know where Andre Gonzalez is?” A chilled silence crept through the room and I immediately looked at Jay Allen. “He’s not marked as absent today. Is he skipping?”
I hadn’t been out of my classroom yet today. If there was gossip about his whereabouts, I hadn’t heard it yet.
My class was silent so I pressed them. “It’s better if you tell me.” When they continued to stare at me, I felt familiar fear. “Is he hurt? Sick? Did something happen to him?”
“Arrested,” someone called from the back of the room. “He got arrested last night.”
It wasn’t the most surprising news in the world, but it still dealt a painful blow. “Damn,” I whispered. I looked up and saw fear reflected in my students’ eyes. Fear and resignation. “How old is he?”