Every Wrong Reason

Maybe she wasn’t the worst guidance counselor ever. That might have been a slight exaggeration.

I lifted my head and stumbled to a stop when I saw Eli Cohen watching me intently from the table beside our mailboxes. He was perched on the edge of it, with legs stretched out and ankles crossed. His arms were folded over his chest and his thick-framed glasses in place, hiding his eyes from me.

“Hello, Mr. Cohen,” I said, hoping for casual. We had never regained the friendship we’d lost after our inauspicious coffee date. Things had been strained and forced ever since.

It was strange to me because I thought our friendship had been real. But it was hard to sort out now since he had avoided me like the plague ever since he realized I wasn’t interested in him romantically.

And I honestly didn’t want to dissect it too much.

“Hi, Kate. How are you?” His smile was genuine, even as his gaze drifted to my small, round belly.

At the end of June, I was only three months along, but there was a small enough bump to make it clear that I was pregnant. The kids had been out of school for three weeks, but teachers still hung around, working on their classrooms or teaching summer school.

I was packing up my classroom, as I would be taking a couple years off. I had a baby to raise. A family to focus on.

A husband to let take care of me.

“I’m good,” I told him honestly. I allowed a smile and repeated, “I’m really good.”

“You look good, Kate.” His head tilted to indicate all of me. Just as I started to feel slightly uncomfortable, he added, “I’ve meant to tell you something, it’s just I’ve always felt a bit awkward about it. But, I wanted to say that I’m happy for you. I really am. I’m glad everything worked out with Nick. It was obvious you were never over him.”

My smile stayed in place. I felt his authenticity and I respected it. “Thank you, Eli. I appreciate that.”

“Good luck with the baby,” he added. “You’ll be a great mom.”

He stood up and strode from the room before I could say anything else. But I found that I didn’t really have anything else to say. It was nice to have that chapter closed, but it hadn’t been necessary.

I did hope the best for him, though. I hoped he could one day move on from his own heartbreak and find someone else. I hoped he could find someone that fit him, that loved him as much as he deserved.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Nick was here. I texted to tell him to meet me in my classroom, then gathered the last papers from my mailbox.

I walked back to my room slowly, savoring the smell of metal lockers and floor polish. There was a mustiness that clung to the building that usually made me wrinkle my nose. But now I realized it smelled like school to me. This was how I would always define Hamilton.

And I knew I would miss it.

I had been here for nine years, just a little longer than I had been married. Unlike my marriage, though, it was time to close this door. It was time to move on.

For now.

I thought about Jay Allen and knew I would eventually be back. I couldn’t give this up forever. But for now, it was the right thing to do for my family.

I smiled to myself. God, it felt good to say that.

Nick and I had made so much progress over the last three months. Not because we were forcing it because of the baby, but because we both wanted progress. We both wanted to heal and create a safe, comfortable home for our little one.

We both wanted each other and this marriage and real, authentic happiness.

And finally, after everything that had happened, we had it.

In April, we had celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary. We had gone out to a nice dinner and shared a bottle of champagne at home. We had never been happier. Never more content to make something work. Never shared life that was so beautiful.

Two days later we found out I was pregnant.

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