Liam holds my gaze as I reach out to take the bag he’s packed. “Wait.” His fingers brush the back of my hand, then pull away. He opens a drawer under the table and takes out a small, battered book bound in leather. The sight of it plunges me into memories—cold nights in our cottage, sitting on Papa’s lap while he read stories from the book. Opening the cover on my own and tracing the words there, knowing they belonged to me, even though I was too small to read. And other memories too, mine but not mine, the minds of Antonia and all my other lives, my other selves, their memories and hopes and loves and terrors laced through my blood and bones. This is what my father sought in the vault, what he gave his life for.
“I hate the thought of you alone,” Liam says softly.
For the first time in what seems like centuries, I feel a spark of hope. “I’m not alone,” I tell him as I take the book. I couldn’t be alone, not with the words of my past speaking to me from these pages.
Liam watches me, holding his hands stiffly at his sides like he wants to reach out again but won’t allow himself to. “What are you going to do?” he asks quietly.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Hide. Learn about myself. Then try to face Caro, when I’m ready.”
“It’s not too late to disappear,” he says. “You could change your name. Leave Sempera. She’d never find you.”
“She would find me,” I say with certainty. “You don’t know her like I do. But I won’t disappear. I won’t leave you—leave everyone under her thumb forever.” I reach out and grab his hand, and he blinks. “Stay here, at Everless,” I tell him. “I’ll need you before this is over.”
Slowly, slowly, he nods. “I’ll help you in whatever way I can. And I won’t say good-bye, Jules,” he whispers. “Now run.”
I take one last, long look at him—this boy who I hated for so long, who’s been protecting me since he was a child himself. His eyes are dark hollows, brimming with yearning and fear. For an instant I want to kiss him—but hold myself back, remembering that my touch is a mark of death.
“Thank you, Liam,” I say.
Then I turn my back on him and walk into the night, the past weighing heavily on my shoulders, toward a future as wild and unknowable as my own heart.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Every book is, to some extent, a team effort, but that’s especially the case with Everless. There are so many people who had a hand in making this novel happen, and all of you have my eternal gratitude.
Thank you to the entire incredible team at Glasstown Entertainment for making a dream come true: Lexa Hillyer, Lauren Oliver, Rhoda Belleza, Kamilla Benko, Tara Sonin, Adam Silvera, Emily Berge, and in particular, Alexa Wejko. Alexa, this book wouldn’t exist without you. Thank you for your hours upon hours spent with me and with these pages. It’s been so much fun and more than worth the weird looks we got discussing murder and reincarnation in coffee shops.
To my amazing editors Erica Sussman, Tara Weikum, Kari Sutherland, and everyone at HarperTeen, for shaping and shepherding this book from start to finish. From your expert edits, to this wonderful cover, to your work getting the book out into the world, it means so much. Special shout-out to the copyeditors, who put up with my chronic inability to keep a timeline straight.
To Stephen Barbara and Lyndsey Blessing at Inkwell, for finding Everless a home and bringing it to places all across the globe. To think that my words will appear in countries I’ve never set foot in, in languages I don’t speak, will never cease to be surreal.
To everyone at Curtis Brown for cheering me on, toasting good news with me, and always having open doors when I need advice. I’m so fortunate to work someplace where I truly look forward to coming in every day.
To all the teachers and mentors I’ve had along the way who convinced me to take leaps, especially Sonja Saunders, Jennifer Nelson, Kelly Bunte, Maggie Shea, and Amy Bloom.
To my family—Rachel, Ben, Hannah, Grandma and Grandpa, Grammy and Grampy—who read my very first attempts at stories and (even so) encouraged me all along the way.
To Henry, for being at my side through every step of this journey, for being even more excited about good news than I was, and for not complaining when I had to withdraw from the world for days at a time to write. For making me smile and laugh every single day. I know we say this all the time, but I’m so lucky to have you.
To Dad, for the hundreds of nights spent sitting on the floor in the hallway, equidistant from all the kids’ bedrooms, reading Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Narnia and Watership Down and many more. For always managing to come up with one more story that starts out scary and ends up happy.
And to Mom, for supporting me through the uncharted waters of both writing and life, and for never ceasing to believe I could do it. If I’ve come a long way from Stleznen the friendly sea monster, it’s all because of you.