“Is everything okay?” Estaine asks.
“Yeah,” I answer, looking at my feet to avoid his gaze. “I just... have to ask you something.”
“What?”
“Do you like Paige Lawson?” I ask.
He doesn’t say anything right away, so I look up at him to gauge what his reaction is.
“To be honest, Paige Lawson gets on my nervous,” Estaine says. “She has this self-righteous attitude, and always acts like she’s so much better than everybody else. I kind of can’t stand the girl. Why do you ask?”
I let out a breath. “Well, she came up to me today and basically told me I should back off from you. And basically, she was asking what you saw in me.”
“What did you say to her? When she told you to back off?”
My face heats up. “I’d rather not say.”
“Come on, Phoenix. Tell me,” he says.
“Fine. I told her, actually, he’s mine. And then I told her, apparently you saw something in me in the past two weeks that you hadn’t seen in her in two years,” I say. “And now, I feel really bad, because we’re not even dating. It’s all fake. But I can’t stand mean girls. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it. She just made me so angry.”
“It’s okay. I promise,” he says. “Besides, you’re kind of right about the whole seeing more in you in two weeks than I have in her in two years. She’s shallow and vapid. And you... well, you’re perfect.”
Perfect?
“Are you sure you’re still okay with this whole fake dating thing?” I ask.
“I promise I am okay with it,” Estaine says. “Trust me, there is no girl at this school that I like more than you.”
I laugh.
He really is such a good friend.
“Will you let me know if you change your mind?” I ask. “Because, I really don’t mind if you dump me in a very public way.”
“Okay, Phoenix,” he says.
We walk back into the cafeteria together, and as we walk through the door, he grabs my hand. I am so stunned that I trip over my own feet, but somehow manage to keep up with Estaine. Only a handful of people turn to watch us this time.
After getting our food, we join our friends at the table.
“What is this I hear about you and Paige getting into a fight?” Teagan asks, as we sit down.
“She tried to tell me I was taking her man or some crap like that,” I say.
“I hope you set her straight.”
“She did,” Estaine says, grinning at me. “If she tries anything again, let me know and I will take care of her myself.”
“Wow. Look at you being the protective boyfriend,” Teagan says. “I like it. It’s kind of sexy.”
“Totally sexy...” I say, letting my voice trail off as my face warms. I clear my throat.
Why am I so awkward?
Ugh.
Estaine reaches for my hand under the table and squeezes it. I look up at him and see that he’s smiling.
Thankfully, the subject changes to something that is not me and I couldn’t be happier about it.
But I can’t help but wonder... why did Estaine grab my hand again? He did it under the table where nobody could see. It wasn’t just for show. Does that mean he likes me for real, as more than a friend?
Being in a fake relationship is hard. I can’t imagine how hard it’ll be when I actually get a real boyfriend.
4pm.
Why him?
I had to quit soccer today. My coach understood. I guess she had heard about my cousin dying and told me if I ever wanted back on the team to let her know. I felt so guilty. Everybody thinks I’m mourning the death of a person, but I’m really just sad about everything that has gone on—terrorists, being kidnapped, being shipped off to a new school, given a new identity, leaving my family behind, and then there is the fact that my house just got burned down. It’s a lot to take in.
As I walk back to my dorm, trying not to be too overcome with emotions, I nearly run into somebody as I’m about to walk into my dorm room.
“Sorry,” I say to the person standing outside my door. And then I look up and see Brooks.
And I swear...
My.
Heart.
Stops.
“Brooks,” I say, licking my dry lips. “What are you doing here?”
“Just thought I’d check on you,” he says. “You haven’t been answering your phone and I wanted to make sure you were still alive.”
I unlock my dorm room and walk inside, inviting him.
I know that I have to tell him something about Estaine, but I’m not even sure where to start.
“Well, I’m okay, for the most part,” I say, sitting down on my bed. “Things have been pretty crazy since I left for my cousin’s funeral.”
He looks at me with his blue eyes, causing my heart to skip a beat.
How I wish I could tell him everything.
The truth about who I am.
That Estaine and I are just friends, but are being forced to pretend we’re more.
But I can’t. Uncle Matty made that very clear when he said that if I told anybody else, I would be forced to leave the school.
“Look, we need to talk,” Brooks says.
I nod. “Okay.”