Kind of.
But also, I realize that River was in his past. He made mistakes, yes, but I’m sure he has grown from those mistakes. He’s become a better person. I shouldn’t compare our relationship to his past one. Especially, considering Brooks hasn’t told me about River. We definitely have not gotten to the place in our relationship where he tells me about his ex-girlfriends. And he didn’t just break up with his ex. She died. How do you get over something like that?
I push the thoughts to the back of my mind.
ME: Hi.
BROOKS: What are you up to?
ME: Laundry. Listening to Emma’s relationship drama. She just broke up with her bf via text.
BROOKS: Harsh...
ME: The dudes a jerk and deserves it.
BROOKS: Ah... sounds fun.
BROOKS: We should hang out again today.
ME: I can’t. I already told Estaine I’d hang out with him. We are going to spend the afternoon in his dorm eating pizza and avoiding our friends.
BROOKS: I’m not sure if I should be jealous that you’re hanging out with another guy, or happy that you’re not trying to hide it from me.
ME: I already told you that Estaine is my best friend. Nothing more.
ME: He told me last night why you and he don’t get along...
BROOKS: Last night? You guys hung out last night?
ME: Yeah. Teagan wanted to make out with Jason, so I went with her and hung out with Estaine.
“Hey, no boys,” Teagan says, just now noticing I’m on my phone. Her own phone is in her hand.
I roll my eyes and lock my phone. A few seconds later, when it vibrates, both Emma and she are using their phones, so I have no guilt reading the text.
BROOKS: I am incredibly jealous, right now.
BROOKS: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am contemplating calling my dad and seeing if he will let me transfer to East Raven.
ME: DO. IT.
ME: And don’t be jealous. Estaine and I just talked. We even talked some about you.
BROOKS: What else did you talk about?
“Who are you texting?” Teagan asks me.
“First, I was texting Estaine, but now Brooks,” I answer. “He’s being all jealous because I hung out with Estaine last night. I kind of like that I have this kind of power over him.”
“I’m still team Estaine,” she says.
“I’m hanging out with Estaine later today.”
“What happened to girls’ day?” Emma asks.
“You and Teagan will have so much more fun without me,” I say.
Teagan glares at me, but I just smile, and go back to texting Brooks.
ME: Well, first I told him about hanging out with you. And then he told me about River. Which, don’t worry... nothing too bad. And don’t feel like you have to talk to me about your ex gf. It’s too early for that...
BROOKS: Agree.
BROOKS: What else did you talk about?
I think back to all the conversations we had.
ME: Um... love at first sight.
BROOKS: Do you believe in love at first sight?
ME: Nope.
ME: Do you?
BROOKS: Yes. Definitely, yes. What did Estaine say?
ME: You really want a play by play of our entire conversation?
ME: Estaine said that he used to not believe in love at first sight, but he does now.
BROOKS: Because of you?
ME: He said no such thing.
BROOKS: What else?
ME: Hmm... well, he talked about why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. And that’s pretty much it.
BROOKS: Okay.
BROOKS: You’re for real not interested in him, right?
Uh.
Why is he asking me this?
ME: Brooks, ESTAINE AND I ARE JUST FRIENDS.
“I’ve decided that jealousy is no longer cute,” I tell Teagan.
She looks up from her phone and smiles. “Good. ’Cause I’m totally team Estaine.”
I roll my eyes at her.
“Which guy do you like better?” Emma asks. “Because, that’s all that matters.”
“I don’t know,” I answer. “To be honest, I’m not ready to be in a relationship with either one of them. I literally just met them both, like, nine or ten days ago. After I get to know them, then I will decide. But Brooks is acting like we’re in a relationship already. I guess I just want to slowly get to know each one of them, and then decide.”
“Which one makes your heart go pitter patter?” Teagan asks.
I just grin, not knowing what to say.
Brooks has made my heart race from day one. Since the moment I laid eyes on him. And I guess that had more to do with me being attracted to his physical appearance, than anything else.