“Wait, you’re going to hang out with the kid from West Raven?” Jake asks.
“If I get permission to leave campus,” I say.
“No. Absolutely not. Out of the question,” he says.
“Come on,” I say. “You just said you weren’t that old. Which means you remember what it’s like to be young and have a super, massive crush on somebody. Please, Jake. Please, please, please.”
“No,” he says. “It’s not happening.”
“If I don’t get permission, then I will just sneak off campus,” I say, stubbornly.
“Not if I handcuff you and force you to spend the day with me,” Jake says.
“I swear, I will run away,” I say.
“No, Phoenix.”
“Please,” I say. “Can’t you just come and watch from a distance?”
“Absolutely not, Phoenix. Do you not remember what happened yesterday? These terrorists are serious,” he says. “And I’m not letting you put your life in danger for a high school crush. It’s not worth it, trust me.”
“There has to be a way,” I say, standing up from the steps. I begin to pace back and forth. “You guys told me when I came here that I needed to start a new life. I didn’t want to. But now I have and you won’t even let me live that life. What is a life where I’m constantly in fear? What difference does it make if I’m on campus, or out with a guy? You and Uncle Matty can watch from a distance, or whatever. I’ll be safe. I know I will. Just, please, don’t ask me to cancel this date. I really like this guy.”
“Phoenix...”
When he says my name, I can feel all hope start to dwindle, and my eyes fill with tears.
“I’m going to be stuck here forever, aren’t I?” I ask.
Jake stands up and walks over to me. “Maybe we could find a way for you to go out with this boy.”
“Really?” I ask, looking up at him through my tear filled eyes.
“Yes, just please stop crying,” he says. “Between you and my four year old daughter... I swear I can’t take any more crying today.”
“Why is she crying?” I ask.
Jake looks down at his feet, now avoiding eye contact. “She misses me.”
I frown.
Here I am crying because I can’t go out on a date with a guy... How selfish am I? I’m not the only person who has had to sacrifice. Jake and Uncle Matty are both sacrificing time with their family, to be here with me.
“I’m sorry,” I say, wiping away the tears. “I don’t have to go.”
“Yes, you do,” he says. “Look, you’re a sixteen year old girl. You should be going on dates with guys.”
“Will Uncle Matty approve?” I ask.
“I’ll talk him into it,” Jake says.
Something tells me that won’t be an easy feat.
9pm.
Don’t give up on her.
“You weren’t at dinner,” Teagan says that night, when she comes to the dorm room. “Or soccer practice.”
“I wasn’t hungry,” I say.
It’s true.
I wasn’t hungry because I ate with Jake and Uncle Matty. They ordered Indian takeout, and I couldn’t turn down that offer.
I ignore the missing soccer practice comment. I did miss practice, but I literally couldn’t go. I know I won’t be in trouble... my situation is different than other students. I don’t think the teachers or coach know, but the dean does.
“I thought you were going to Estaine’s dorm tonight,” she says.
I was supposed to.
That is why my phone is currently turned on silent.
He’s called four times.
“Just decided to work on my homework, instead,” I say, which is also not a lie. I’ve spent some of the night catching up on stuff that I’ve missed. I have skipped my French and math class, both classes happen after lunch, for the past two days. I’ve never made anything below a B and I don’t want to start now.
“Are you avoiding him?” she asks.
I pretend to not hear her.
Because, heck yes! I am avoiding him!
There is a knock on the door and my eyes widen.
That better not be Estaine.
I jump to the side of my bed on the floor, hiding from the door.
“If that’s Estaine, I’m not here,” I whisper to Teagan.
“If I lie for you, you owe me an explanation,” she whispers back, as she walks to the door.
“Hey, Teagan.” I hear Estaine’s voice from the other side.
“Estaine, hey,” she says. “What’s up?”
“Just... looking for Phoenix,” he says. “Is she around?”
“Afraid not. She’s been MIA all day,” Teagan answers. “She even missed soccer practice.”
“Really?” he says. I can hear the worry in his voice and a pang of guilt hits me. “I’m worried about her. I’ve been trying to talk to her, but she keeps avoiding me.”
“Why do you think she’s doing that?” she asks.
OMG, Teagan. Don’t talk to the boy. Get. Rid. Of. Him!
He lets out a sigh, and I pray that he’s not about to tell her that I am a pathological liar. Which, I think I am. Seriously.
“I think she likes you,” Teagan says.
WHAT?
Why the heck would she say that?
“I don’t know,” Estaine says.
“I think you like her,” she says.
“I don’t know her,” he replies.
It stings a little, because I know he’s right.
“But I can tell you’re attracted to her,” she says.