Completely out from under his control for the first time in my life.
The press had a fucking field day with the news of what supposedly went down at the compound. The story Damien pulled out of his ass was nothing but pure and utter fucking genius. I quickly realized he really was good at what he did, especially all the illegal shit. Which would definitely earn him the death sentence by the law’s standards if he ever got found out. Even without my help, it wouldn’t have been long before he became District Attorney, like he was now. The corrupt motherfucker was all over the news, shaking hands with the top fucking dogs from all around the world. Painting the picture of the man everyone knew as El Santo, doing what he does best—serving justice.
He portrayed me as the knight in shining fucking armor. Mia Ryder’s hero. I couldn’t leave my house without getting hounded by reporters. All wanting an interview with the man who took down the President of the Devil’s Rejects. The fact it was his son who did so made it even better tabloid gossip. I couldn’t even turn on the T.V. without seeing our faces plastered all over the screen. Making me miss her that much more.
About a week after the incident, I made arrangements to have Luke’s remains buried at Oakdale Cemetery next to Autumn’s memorial. Giving my ma the closure she needed, knowing that her baby boy was now truly resting in peace.
She didn’t say much about what happened, other than thank you when I handed her Luke’s medallion at the memorial. Pulling me into a tight hug with tears running down her cheeks. She didn’t any ask questions, probably because she already knew all the answers. She was still briefed by Leo, preparing for my father’s case with Damien. It was standard protocol to question all parties involved, just to go through the motions. They even brought Noah in.
I saw my brother at Ma’s house a few days after we took down my old man, and everything was already headline news. I had gone into my room to pack up some of my shit that Ma had brought over from the old house. Wanting to take it back with me to my place.
“Hey,” Noah greeted, leaning against the doorframe to my room with his arms crossed over his chest.
I nodded at him, grabbing the dogtags Autumn had made for me from my nightstand. Throwing it in one of my bags on the bed. I hadn’t worn it in years, but I couldn’t part with it. Autumn would always have a special place in my heart. She was my best friend.
“Can’t believe you still got that,” he added. “I remember when you mailed it to me from overseas while you were playin’ G.I. fuckin’ Joe. Askin’ me to put in your room for you.”
“Probably the only letter you ever read of mine.”
“I read them all, Creed. Every last one. Most of them I read so many fuckin’ times that I started to memorize them. I may have resented you, but I needed to know you were okay. Make sure you were alive. I had to, you’re my big brother.”
I glanced over at him, surprised by his revelation.
“You were the only family I had left at that point. Couldn’t lose you, too.”
“Ya never wrote me back. If it wasn’t for Pippin, wouldn’t have ever gotten any mail.”
“She’s a good girl.”
“You’d know,” I sternly said. “She’s yours now.”
He slowly nodded his head with a flicker of something in his eyes that I couldn’t make out or begin to understand. But he continued before I could give it anymore thought.
“I couldn’t bring myself to write you back,” he voiced, changing the subject. Walking over to sit on the edge of my bed, leaning his elbows on his knees. His eyes never wavered, following me as I went around the room, collecting all my shit. It was like he was truly looking at me for the first time since I was discharged from the Army.
Seeing his brother.
Not his enemy.
“I was fuckin’ pissed at you for leavin’ me behind. To take care of all the bullshit that had suddenly become my life. I hated you. Mostly cuz I knew you coulda died over there, leavin’ me really fuckin’ alone. Not given me a chance to even say goodbye to you before I woulda had to walk up to your grave. Exactly like I did with my daughter,” he shared, immediately making me stop what I was doing to look at him.
“Yeah, I was fuckin’ livid with you, Creed, letting it happenin’ on your watch. The brother who had done nothin’ but protect me for most of my childhood, couldn’t do the same for my daughter. It brought back all those feelings I went through when you were gone, just pourin’ fuckin’ salt to my already bleedin’ wounds.”He took a long, deep, sturdy breath, composing his thoughts before adding, “I know it wasn’t your fault, alright? If I would have been in that situation... havin’ to choose... I probably would have chosen Mia, too. And that was the hardest pill to fuckin’ swallow cuz that baby girl was actually my kid.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. I just stood there in a state of shock.
“And that alone made me feel like I’m no different than our fuckin’ father. When I don’t wanna be nothin’ like him.”
“You ain’t, Noah. I ain’t either. And it’s taken me a really long fuckin’ time to realize that. Ya feel me?”
He nodded, his eyes glossy, blinking away his unshed tears. “When you enlisted. You didn’t even ask me how I felt about you leavin’. Not one fuckin’ word to me about it. I find out while you and Pops were kickin’ each other's asses which seems to be a runnin’ theme with our fuckin’ family,” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “You made me feel like I didn’t fuckin’ matter to you anymore. When I went through my whole life feelin’ like you were the only one who ever made me feel like I did matter to someone.”
I shook my head, blindsided. “Gotta shitty way of fuckin’ showin’ it, Noah.”
“I’m a Jameson, right?”
I scoffed out, grabbing a few more things from the drawers, throwing them in my bags. Hurrying around the space, gathering more shit so I could leave. “The fuck you want?” I finally asked, knowing he didn’t come in my room for an afternoon fucking special where I'd tell him it was perfectly okay to continue loving and fucking my girl.
He knew me better than that.
“All I wanted was to tell ya was that we’ll always be brothers, Creed. Don’t matter how many times we kick each other’s asses. We’re blood.”
“No shit,” I rasped, eyeing him. “I love ya, Noah, but I don’t have to fuckin’ like ya. And right now, that ain’t nothin’ but the truth.”