A piece of each of our hearts was buried with her that day. But she was not forgotten, I had the daily reminder every time I looked at myself in the mirror. One day my mom had noticed me looking at the scar while I was laying out by the pool. Rubbing my fingers against the taut skin. Before she could question me about it, I simply asked her if she could find me a cream that would help take the scar away.
Hoping if it was out of sight, it would be out of my mind, too. I turned my face away from her as soon as the question left my lips, not wanting to see the look on her face. She made an appointment for me at a cosmetology center a few days later. After a few sessions of laser treatments, it’s barely noticeable anymore. You couldn’t see it unless you knew it was there.
I thought it would make it easier on me.
It didn’t...
It made it harder.
I told Dr. Garcia that I felt ashamed, as if I was trying to wipe away the evidence of her existence, like she was never growing inside of me. She told me that I was just trying to cope the only way I knew how. Even though it didn’t make me feel any better, it helped.
“Hey, pretty girl. What’s takin’ you so long, I’m gettin’ old here.” Noah pounded his fist on the steel door, making me laugh. “Don’t make me come in there. Bring that cute little ass of yours out here,” he hollered.
I shook my head, taking a deep breath before opening the door.
The expression on Noah’s face and the glare in his eyes when I walked out of the bathroom wearing the bikini was enough to push away all my looming fears. The ones I knew I’d never get rid of. He eyed me with a predatory regard, taking in every last inch of my sun-kissed skin. Making me feel nervous for a whole set of new reasons.
“Jesus Christ,” he breathed out. “You’re even more breathtakin’ than I remember.”
I blushed, peering down at the ground, shuffling my feet in the sand. I heard him chuckle as he made his way over to me. Stopping when we were inches apart, wrapping his arm around me. Pulling me into the side of his torso where I willingly went, loving the feel of him against me. He kissed the top of my head, and we walked down to the shore together. Grabbing my new surfboard on the way.
I spent most of the day in the water, riding the waves, becoming one with the ocean. Getting lost in my happy place I hadn’t visited in I couldn’t remember how long. It was just like riding a bike, you never forget how to do it. There was nothing in the world that could compare to the feeling of the ocean breeze and salt water hitting your face when you paddled out. I loved feeling like I had never left. This was me doing something I loved. Every time I’d look back at the shoreline, there was Noah smiling.
Watching me.
I went to hang out with him a few times, but he was adamant that I go back in the ocean. Threatening to pick me up over his shoulder and carry me out there like a barbarian. Throwing me to the sharks. He reassured me he was having the best time just sitting there. Being a part of my world for once. Getting a glimpse of how life should be. It was well into the afternoon by the time I was done for the day. My body physically spent, barely being able to drag my board up to the sand. As soon as I walked up to where Noah had been sitting all day, I noticed there was a spread of food with drinks on a blanket.
“Did you make us a picnic?” I asked with tears forming in my eyes.
For some reason the gesture was too much for me to take.
“I did. Thought you could learn some of your favorite foods and drinks again.”
I struggled like hell to let go of the emotion that suddenly coursed through me. I had spent hours thinking about the connection we shared, the intensity of it. The way he looked at me, the way he spoke to me, the way he listened. Every smile, every laugh, every word that fell from his lips, meant something.
It didn’t matter how big or how small.
It was there.
Etching its way into my heart where it felt like it had always been.
We spent the rest of the afternoon eating, playing like kids in the sand, talking and enjoying each other’s company. Getting to know one another just a little bit more. Before I knew it, we were laying down on the blanket, my head resting in the crevice of his arm. Watching the sun go down. Listening intently to the lull of the waves as they brushed up onto the sand. I closed my eyes, never wanting the day to end.
“Mia.” Noah shook me, stirring me awake.
“Hmm...”
“You gotta wake up. We passed out. It’s after one in the morning. Your parents’ must be flippin’ the fuck out.”
“What?” I sat up, brushing the sleep out of my eyes.
“Here, check your phone. I bet it’s been blowin’ up. Mine was.”
I grabbed it out of his hands. He was right, there were over fifty missed phone calls from my parents’, Mason, Bo, not to mention my uncles and an endless stream of text messages. At least ten from an unknown number, but I pushed it aside needing to call home.
“Shit,” I panicked, instantly hitting the call back button on my house number.
“Mia!” my mom yelled into the receiver in a distraught tone. “Please tell me you’re okay!” she cried.
“Momma! I’m fine! I swear... I’m so sorry. We came to the beach, the fresh air, all the food we ate... I surfed all day. We just fell asleep in the sand watching the sun go down.”
“Mia, oh my God! Do you have any idea what we’ve been going through! What on earth were you thinking?! How could you be so careless?!”
“I know, I know. I had my phone on silent. Noah did, too. Please don’t be mad... it was an accident. I would never want to put you guys through anything like that again. I’m so sorry,” I honestly spoke, pacing back and forth in front of Noah who was busy checking his voicemails. I faintly heard a familiar voice before the screaming started again on mine.
“Lucas, calm down!”
“Give me the fucking phone!” I heard my dad say on the other end.
“Not until you calm down! They fell asleep—”
“Fell asleep?! What the fuck were they doing in a bed?!”
“Mia! Come home right now!” Mom ordered.
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “Okay, we’re at Ocean Island Beach so I’ll be home in like an hour. I’m so sorry, Momma,” I repeated, feeling like I’d let them down again. “I’ll have Noah drive faster—”
“No! Drive the speed limit. We will talk when you get home, young lady. You tell Noah goodnight. Do you understand me?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Text me when you’re in your Jeep.”
“I will. Bye.” I hung up.
“Fuck... damn it, I fucked up. I’m sorry, Mia.”
“It’s not your fault. We just fell asleep. I think you put us in a food coma,” I said, trying to make him laugh but failing miserably.
“They’re never gonna let me see you again.” He hurried, picking everything up to leave.
“No. Relax. It will be fine. Please don’t let this ruin today. It’s been the best day I’ve had since I woke up in that hospital. Being here with you. It meant everything.” I grabbed his arm to stop him, looking deep into his eyes. Showing him I spoke the truth.
He smiled, his worry lessening.
“Thank you, Noah. For everything. Honest.”