I FINISHED UP WITH MY lessons for the day, grabbed a snack, and ditched Theo while he was taking a shower. He’d kill me for leaving and I’m sure he’d reprimand me thoroughly, but it was time I stopped being a baby and talked to Winston. I needed to explain to him how I never meant to use him and I truly did care for him, but not in the way he wanted.
I meandered down the hallway, finding my way easily to his room. When I first arrived, I thought I’d never learn my way around this place, but after a while it all made sense. I stopped in front of his door and took a moment to gather myself. I took a deep breath and knocked.
The door opened slowly, and he sighed when he saw it was me. Opening the door wider, he leaned in the doorway and crossed his arms over his chest. “Mara, to what do I owe this pleasure?”
“C-Can I come in?”
He hesitated and after a second of thought moved aside to let me in. I wrung my hands together, feeling nervous and awkward being here. He closed the door and turned to face me. He wasn’t going to start this conversation, that much was obvious.
“Hi,” I blurted awkwardly.
“’Ello.” He cracked a smile.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “I wanted to apologize. I want you to know it was never my intention to hurt you. I like you, Winston, a lot, but as a friend. I tried to feel something more, I wanted to, but I didn’t. You’re a great guy and you deserve so much better than me. My heart belongs to someone else even though I never meant to give it away. It’s just … his.” I took a breath and wetted my lips. “But I’m sorry, truly sorry for hurting you.”
Winston sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t say it wasn’t my own fault. I could see the way you felt about him, and I ignored it, because you were like me and I felt like I could finally let my guard down. I’m partly to blame too.”
I stuck my hand out to him. “Friends?”
He slid his hand into mine, his lips quirked. “Friends,” he echoed.
A weight lifted off my shoulders. That had been easier than I thought, but Winston was a really good guy so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised.
“I better get back,” I told him. “I snuck away from Theo,” I admitted with a shrug.
He chuckled. “Yeah, we don’t want him tearing the place apart.”
I smiled one last time at him and slipped out the door.
“What are you doing sneaking around?”
I jumped at the sound of the voice. Turning around, I placed a shaking hand to my heart.
“Finn,” I breathed.
He slunk away from the wall across from me, his hands shoved into his pockets.
“Where’s your protector?” he slurred the word and a shiver ran up my spine.
“Around,” I answered, my heart racing. I’d never feared this man before, actually liked him and laughed with Adelaide over her crush on him, but something felt off.
“Hmm.” He nodded, lips pursed in thought. “I’ll see you tonight.”
He disappeared down the hall, presumably to his room.
I shook my head and my made my way back to my room.
I was almost there when the door burst open. “Where were you?” Theo glowered, tugging his black t-shirt on.
“I had to talk to Winston,” I explained. “But—”
“Talk to Winston?” he bellowed. “Are you crazy? You can’t just go off willy-nilly without me. I’m supposed to—”
I snorted. I couldn’t believe he used the words willy-nilly in an actual sentence. But I didn’t have time to dwell on that.
“We need to talk about something.” I shut him up and shoved him back into my room.
“Stop man-handling me. I’m mad at you.” He skirted away from me.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Stop being a drama king. It’s not flattering.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow. “I think I should spank you and put you in timeout.”
“Theo,” I groaned. “I have to tell you something. Be serious for five minutes.”
He sighed and sat on my bed. Nigel climbed into his lap and began to purr. “Proceed then.” He waved his hand dramatically signaling the floor was mine.
“I ran into Finn when I left Winston’s room … I guess I shouldn’t even say ran into. It’s more like he was waiting either for something or me. It was strange. His whole demeanor was.”
Theo’s brows furrowed. “I’ve known Finn a while—he grew up here like me, and I’ve never gotten any funny vibes off him.”
I shrugged. “I’m probably being paranoid.”
He shook his head. “Better to be paranoid than unprepared. I’ll pay more attention to him tonight.”
I hoped I was wrong about the feeling I got from Finn, but I couldn’t shake it no matter what I did.
I adjusted the telescope and squinted through the lens.
Each of us had been assigned a different constellation to find and draw on paper. Mine was Pegasus.
“Having any trouble?” Finn asked Adelaide. I glanced over and saw him put his hand on her waist giving her a flirtatious smile.
Gag.
“Watch your hand,” Theo growled. “I wouldn’t want someone to chop it off accidentally.”
Finn let his hand drop and turned to Theo who hovered behind me. “Accidentally?” He fought a smile.
“Of course,” Theo replied with a less-than-friendly smile.
“Mhmm,” he hummed, and grasped his hands behind his back before moving on.
When he was gone Adelaide whipped around and glared at her brother. “Can you be nice? It wasn’t like he was feeling up my boob.”
Theo narrowed his eyes on his sister. “He’s too old for you.”
Her jaw dropped. “Too old for me? You’re his age and you can’t help but make googly-eyes at Mara all day long.”
Theo clenched his teeth and pointed a menacing finger at her. “Watch it.”
“You’re not my dad,” she seethed.
He winced. “Ade—”
“Just stop,” she warned him, her eyes deadly. “I’m not a kid anymore, Theodore. I don’t need you looking out for me all the time. Give me some space.”
With that, she turned promptly on her heel and went to another telescope far away from us.
Theo sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes met mine and he frowned.
“It’s hard, you know.”
“What is?”
“Letting go.” He glanced sadly at his sister. “We were so young when our parents were killed. I grew up fast so she didn’t have to and I’ve always taken care of her. It’s hard realizing she’s her own person now.”
“She loves you, though.”
“I know,” he breathed, shaking his head. “And I love her. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost her too.”
I glanced over at Adelaide. Imagining a world without her in it was impossible.
“You didn’t, though,” I reminded him
His eyes met mine, the gray color swirling with an infinite sadness I was only beginning to understand myself. When life deals you bad card after bad card it lingers in the eyes. You can always tell when someone’s tortured by dark memories.
“Yet,” he added ominously.
Chapter 26
HOLD STILL AND LET ME finish,” Adelaide griped, wrapping my hair around a curling wand.
“You’re pulling my hair,” I whined.
“Stop complaining,” she hushed.
I frowned at my reflection. I’d been sitting here for two hours while she did my makeup and now my hair.
“I’m almost done,” she said a minute later.