“Why do they need to do a background check on me if we already know each other?” Jane asked Chip when the call had concluded.
Chip and Liz answered at the same time. “They’re being thorough,” Chip said as Liz said, “Because they don’t want Chip’s family to sue them if you turn out to be a psychopath who kills him on your wedding night.”
Jane and Chip were seated on the couch, holding hands, and Jane looked at him. “I’ve never even met your parents,” she said. “I hope they’re not mad at me.”
“How could anyone be mad at you?” Chip said, and he kissed her.
But given that Chip’s parents were also the parents of Caroline, Liz thought, who knew what they’d be like? Even if they were genial in the extreme, watching their son marry a pregnant woman they’d never met, on national television, could not be a cherished dream. Then again, since that same son had chosen to appear on two separate seasons of Eligible, perhaps his parents would understand how much worse than Jane they might have fared with a daughter-in-law.
As for Caroline herself, spending time in her presence at the wedding filled Liz with a dread exacerbated by the assumption that Darcy would be Caroline’s date. For no one other than Jane would Liz have subjected herself to such circumstances.
IN THE MORNING, Chip and Jane rented a car and drove together to Rhinebeck, where they would stay the night before Jane collected her belongings and bid farewell to Amanda and Prisha.
The following day, Amanda called Liz and said, “This is really what Jane wants? To get married on TV to the guy who dumped her the minute he found out she was pregnant?”
Even under normal circumstances, Liz found Amanda a bit intimidating—if Liz hadn’t suspected Amanda would scoff at the idea, she’d have loved to write about her as a Woman Who Dared—and Liz tried not to sound meek or defensive as she said, “I certainly didn’t try to talk Jane into it. And if you’re upset about her quitting her job, you should talk to her, not me.”
“We can find another yoga instructor. But I’ve always thought Chip Bingley was a total phony.”
“Had you met him before yesterday?”
“No, but I swear those were crocodile tears he cried in his season finale.” Quickly, Amanda added, “I don’t watch the show, but Prisha does. Liz, if Chip leaves Jane again, I’ll do him bodily harm.”
“I’ll do it for you,” Liz replied.
“Prisha wants to talk to you,” Amanda said. There was a lull as the phone was passed, then Prisha’s excited voice. “Do we get to come to the wedding?” she asked.
WHAT THE PRODUCERS envisioned, Jane explained to Liz over the phone from California, was a three-day event at a resort in Palm Springs. The first night would be separate, simultaneous bachelor and bachelorette parties. The second night would be the rehearsal dinner. The third afternoon would be the wedding. Jane and Chip would be permitted to invite twenty guests total, all of whom would stay at the resort and all of whose travel expenses would be covered. The couple would receive a payment of $200,000, which Chip insisted should be Jane’s and which Jane insisted should be equally divided among her family members after Chip’s agent—now their shared agent—kept his 10 percent.
“You don’t have to pay me to come to your wedding,” Liz said. She’d been washing dishes when Jane called, and she turned off the faucet. “It would give me more peace of mind if you opened a secret bank account and put the money there. Are you and Chip signing a prenup?”
“We haven’t talked about it,” Jane said. “But if we didn’t trust each other, we wouldn’t be getting married.”
Said like a woman blinded by love, Liz thought, but not signing a prenuptial agreement could only be to her sister’s advantage.
“They want everything to happen two weeks from now,” Jane was saying. “From a Wednesday to a Friday, because that’s when they can rent out the whole resort. Do you think that’ll work for people?”
“Kitty probably has the most rigid schedule of any of us now that she’s in school,” Liz said. “But I bet she can miss a few days.”
“One of the things the agent negotiated is that the hair and makeup artists will help all of us get ready, not just me,” Jane said. “So maybe Kitty can even learn from them.”
“And if she doesn’t, that’s fine, too,” Liz said. “Jane, your wedding can be at least a little bit about you.”
“I haven’t told you the reason the producers want to do it so soon.” Jane sounded wry. “The quote from Anne Lee is ‘Because you’re not getting any smaller, Jane, and the fantasy that American women have of marrying Chip Bingley doesn’t include looking like a whale.’?”
“Wow,” Liz said. “Tactful.”
“No, she said it in a funny way,” Jane said. “I wasn’t offended. The producers are really cool and smart. They remind me of you and your magazine friends.”
“They’re not your friends. Their goal is to make entertaining TV.”