Nicole looked at me for a long moment, searching for something. I wished she would just ask me for it so I could give it to her. Then she tore her gaze away and looked at Gabriel. For as long as I could remember, even when I was back in elementary school, I’d always be the first to get picked for things. Soccer matches, kickball team, softball, basketball. You name it, I had been picked first. I’d never understood what the other kids felt like until this moment. That feeling of your heart dropping into the pit of your stomach and your gut filling with uncertainty? I was in my thirties, for God’s sake. That wasn’t a feeling I wanted to experience at this point in my life. But as with everything that came to Nicole, there I was, experiencing uncomfortable shit.
“It’s fine. Victor can take me. Thanks anyway. I’ll see you soon though, as I have to go pick up Bonnie,” she said after what felt like an eternity.
Gabriel returned the smile she gave him, and for a fleeting moment I felt another pang in my chest as I caught a glimpse of what their life must have been like when they were good together—the laughter, the dreams they must have shared, the heartaches they’d endured. They were over, though. That seemed to dull the pain just enough for me to smile and shake his hand as I walked away with her.
I’D PICKED UP Bonnie from the house I shared with Gabe and he’d asked me to stay awhile. Initially I said no, but he kept talking to Bonnie and scratching behind her ear, and I knew he’d miss her almost as much as I would have had he kept her instead of me, so I stayed. I was comfortable with it, until I wasn’t, because as usual, we ended up back at: where did we go wrong? What happened to us? Those were topics I no longer cared to address. I told him as much, and he agreed it was unfair of him to revert back to them, but I could tell the thoughts lingered even as he stood by the door and watched me walk to my car with Bonnie.
“Are you still going out with Chrissy tonight?” Talon asked as she came into my work area. She was dusting off one of her makeup brushes against a towel as she watched me sew the black corset in my hands. “To celebrate?”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling. “I feel like a celebration is in order in the form of getting intoxicated and dancing wildly.”
Talon laughed. “That’s a good way to celebrate. I would join you, but the girls are sick.”
“Sucks,” I said. “I won’t even try to convince you then. Moms are the best medicine.”
“Speaking of which, when are you going to go visit yours?”
I sighed, pushing away from the sewing table and running my hands down my face. I was dying to go see her, but with this whole ordeal, I hadn’t even looked at flights.
“I don’t know, but hopefully soon. She’s finally done telling me the divorce was a mistake, and I really want to just go over there and lay low for a while.”
“Is your dad still on his cruise?”
“Yeah, they come back next week. Meire emailed me pictures and said he was itching to get back to the office. I can only imagine what a pain in the ass he’s being.”
“These attorneys,” Tal said, shaking her head. “That’s probably why you like Victor so much.”
I couldn’t keep the smile that spread over my face. I rarely spoke to him during the day unless he had something to tell me about the case, which at this point he said would be white noise until we got the finalized papers, but our late-night calls continued and those were much more interesting than law talk. He’d told me about his first girlfriend. I’d told him about my first boyfriend. We spoke about our longest relationships and shortest, and weirdest, and sometimes we’d throw in things from our past together and laugh at the fact we still remembered.
“You really like him,” Talon said. I shrugged a noncommittal answer, though I didn’t make an attempt to deny it. I definitely really liked him. I always had, but this time it seemed like I liked him more. Like we were connecting on another level. As if we were becoming friends first. Had that been what we’d missed the first time around? I tried not to psyche myself out over it though. I knew him and his priorities were still intact.
On my way home, I called Marcus. He’d asked for time off to see his sick aunt a few days before the mediation. He said he hoped there was still a job for him when he got back, but he understood if I needed somebody else immediately. I told him he wasn’t getting rid of me that easily. I’d gotten used to having him around. When Marcus didn’t answer the phone on the second ring, I hung up and called Victor.
“Hey,” he said. My veins thundered at the sound of his masculine voice. “Can I call you back? I just got to a restaurant where I’m meeting with a client.”
“A woman client?” I asked. He chuckled.
“Hmm. No answer. Interesting,” I said.
He paused for a beat. “Are you jealous?”
“Is she hot?”
“Not hotter than you,” he said, his voice firm, but I could also feel a hint of amusement in it.
“Whatever,” I mumbled. The entire time I’d been his client, I hadn’t gotten the let’s go to a restaurant and discuss your case there treatment.
He sighed. “Nicole, please don’t be jealous. I can assure you that you have no reason to be.”
“I’m not jealous,” I said, and I wasn’t. I just wished things would have been different. I wished we could go out and do things while we got to know each other instead of hiding our conversations behind late-night calls and stupid meetings, where our personal conversations were overshadowed by my past with Gabe.