Poker face. Poker face. Poker face. If I said it enough I’d keep it, or become Lady Gaga. Either way was good with me.
Even though all I wanted was to scream all the answers, I kept my head down, because that’s what you do when you’re being bombarded with personal questions you have no answers to. The bouncer took one look at each of us and let us in without hesitation. That was another perk to having Chrissy in your squad. She had a face anybody from a tween to a geezer recognized. Because of the headlines, I was sure he recognized me as well, but I definitely wasn’t the reason he let me in, especially not if Gabe was really in there. We walked down a dark hallway toward the loud house music playing, but before we reached the dance floor, we were met by a waitress, wearing what looked like a bikini top and boy shorts.
“Chrissy, nice to see you again. We didn’t get a heads-up, so I don’t have everything ready for you, but we can get that taken care of quickly. Do you want your usual spot?” she asked.
“Yes, please,” Chrissy said, then shook her head, thinking better of it. “Actually, is Gabriel Lane up there?”
The woman’s eyes jumped to me. “Yes, but not on that side. You will need to walk by his table, though. If that’ll be a problem I can try to get you in through the employee stairwell.”
Both of them looked at me. “I don’t care. I don’t need special attention. I just need a shot of Fireball and I’m good.”
Chrissy laughed. “I love you.”
We followed the busty blonde up the stairs to the VIP area, where people were dancing along to a new Fetty Wap song. The dance area was smaller and much emptier than the one downstairs, but just as lively. Even though it was dark, I tried to look for Gabe. Not because I needed to see him, but because I wanted to know what area to stay away from. I didn’t see him, so I kept walking and figured I’d do the smart thing and not get out of my designated area unless I needed to break the seal, which I hoped wouldn’t happen soon.
“Did you see him?” Chrissy asked as soon as we reached the cozy corner she apparently frequented.
“Nope. You?”
She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. “Can we get some Fireball shots, please? And a bottle of champagne?”
The blonde nodded and scurried off.
“You don’t have to stay,” Chrissy said to her security guy, who was still in tow. “You can go hang out with Marcus, and I’ll text you when I’m ready to go.”
The way this pint-sized girl ordered such big males around was always amusing to me.
“I’m trying to see if my sister’s here,” Chrissy said, typing into her phone. Her sisters were as popular as she was, especially in these settings.
“She’s right there,” I said, looking across from us. Chrissy laughed.
“How did we not see her? Let’s go say hi.”
We joined their friends, catching up on whatever loud club music would allow us to talk about. Work, boyfriend, etcetera, until the inevitable subject came up. Gabe.
I shrugged. “Don’t care. Honestly, I’d rather not talk about it. It’s fine. I’m fine.”
And surprisingly, I was. I always wondered what I would feel like if and when I actually saw him with another woman. I wondered if I’d be angry or jealous, but I felt neither. I felt nothing. It’d been so long, and I felt nothing. I started to laugh. It was a small laugh that became louder and then stopped altogether.
“I’m a little tipsy; I’m having a moment,” I said. “And I need to pee.”
Chrissy laughed and hooked her arm around mine. “Let’s go.”
We brushed past the crowd, and saw Gabe walking toward the exit with a blonde on his arm. Chrissy looked at me, her eyes wide and comforting.
“I’m sorry.”
I blamed the alcohol running through me for the tears that burned my eyes. I wasn’t a public crier and was definitely not going to cry over him. I was done with that. We weren’t together anymore. We hadn’t been for a long time, yet it felt weird to see him walk out with someone else. Had he ever been faithful? Between the woman walking into his room and the clear way in which he depicted that he’d moved on, I had to wonder. Had I been blind or had he been the man I thought he was? I sighed, and shook my head slowly. It was something only Gabe knew. And I wasn’t hurting, just . . . taken aback by it.
“It’s fine. I’m glad I saw it,” I said, clearing my throat.
“I hope he gets herpes,” she said. We laughed, holding on to the rails to keep from tumbling down the steps. “Oh crap. We’re blocking,” she said. “Sorry. We’re blocking. Oh . . . wow.”
I looked up and saw the oh wow in question. He was tall, and lean, with a pair of hazel eyes currently burning holes through me.
“Holy fuck,” I breathed.
Chrissy got right into flirt mode. “Where are you going?”
“The question is, where are you going?” Victor asked, his attention fully on me, eyes roaming down my body slowly before making their way back to my face. I swallowed back the urge to launch myself at him and erase the past ten minutes from my mind. The shots had certainly done a number on me because I felt like I was totally ready and willing to do that.