Blankets. Stacks of blankets. And bottles of water. And protein bars.
It wasn’t a real bed in a warm shelter, but it was more than enough. Fashioning a bed and pillow from the blankets, she took her gun from her pocket and slid it under the pillow. Just in case. Then she let herself sleep.
Twenty-two
Cincinnati, Ohio,
Sunday 20 December, 9.30 P.M.
Adam shoved through the crowd, muttering ‘Excuse me’ when he earned a dirty look, but he really didn’t care. He went through the electric doors and headed straight to the ER, flashing his shield when a staff member tried to stop him from entering the area.
Meredith is alive. She is okay. She is not harmed. Mallory was the target all along, but she is okay. She is not harmed either. And I’m going to kill Kate. Except she is hurt.
The words had been cycling through his mind from the moment he heard the call go out over the radio. Shots fired. Possible hostage situation. Casualties. He and Deacon had dropped everything, leaving the Voss crime scene in the capable hands of Trip and Scarlett.
Of course, Adam knew he’d just proven Isenberg right. He couldn’t lead this case, not with the way he felt about Meredith. But he’d fight that battle later. Now, he needed to see her. To touch her so that he could know she was all right.
At least Deacon had his head on straight. Adam had left his cousin in the parking lot, managing their newest crime scene. He’d barely listened to anything he’d been told.
I need to see her. He looked in the small windows in the door of each ER bay until he found Meredith, her dark red hair in striking contrast to the white of her pillow, and his knees actually buckled. He straightened them immediately, locking them in place. He couldn’t fall apart. Not yet. Not until he got her back to safety and he was alone.
Then he’d fucking fall apart.
He stood by her closed door, looking in the window, getting a grip on himself. Meredith lay in the bed, her eyes closed. She wore a pair of faded blue hospital scrubs. Mallory sat at her side, also dressed in scrubs, clutching her hand. Both of them were alarmingly pale and Meredith had a raw scrape on her cheek that was starting to bruise.
A growl rose in his throat. Sonofabitch had hurt her. Again.
But she’s alive. He kept telling himself that. She’s alive.
The two Feds who’d been on guard duty hadn’t fared as well. One was in serious condition, the other critical. Both had been shot with a silenced gun and handcuffed. Their radios, phones, and service weapons had been stolen.
The shooter was in the wind, having made his escape in a stolen car. This time, though, he’d left things behind – his SUV, which Kate had disabled, his rifle, which Kate had thankfully stolen, and most importantly, his DNA. There was blood all over the asphalt, most of it his. Some of it was Kate’s. None of it was Mallory’s or Meredith’s.
Adam leaned against the door, resting his forehead on the wood, trying to gather his composure. Three times. Three times now I’ve almost lost her.
‘Adam?’
He rolled his head sideways to see Dani coming out of the ER bay next door. He frowned. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I’m Kate’s secondary emergency contact,’ she said. ‘I’ve already called Decker.’
‘How’s he doing?’ Adam asked, now feeling totally numb.
Dani rubbed his back, her touch so soothing that his eyes stung for no good reason. ‘Like you’d expect. He’s frantic, but she’s talked to him on the phone, so he knows she’s physically okay. Mostly. Her arm’s a mess. The guy had a knife. It took eighteen stitches to close the wound, but there doesn’t appear to be any permanent damage.’
Adam blinked hard, his forehead still resting on the door. It was like his head weighed four hundred pounds. He couldn’t seem to hold it up. ‘Physically?’
‘Emotionally, she’s a wreck,’ Dani said quietly. ‘This happened on her watch and . . . well, I’ve never seen her like this.’
‘What exactly did happen?’ Adam asked.
‘You need to ask her. I’m just here to give back rubs,’ she said, then kissed his cheek. ‘Convince yourself that Mer’s okay, then talk to Kate. And be gentle with her.’
A wave of guilt crashed over him. ‘I’m sorry, Dani,’ he whispered. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Her smile was sweet. ‘For what?’
‘For being such an asshole this past year that you’d think you had to tell me that.’
She rubbed her cheek against his upper arm, like a cat nuzzling its human. ‘I accept your apology. You were in pain. I only hope that one day you’ll tell me why.’
‘I will. But I can’t right now.’
‘I know, honey. Go on in and see Mer. You’ll both feel better.’
‘Okay.’ He pushed himself off the door. ‘Wait. Where’s Clarke?’
‘Two doors down. They want to check him out before they release him. He might have a concussion, and at his age they’re going to proceed cautiously.’ Her cheeks grew abruptly flushed. ‘Diesel’s in with him, so he’s not alone.’
‘But Diesel hates hospitals.’
Dani winced. ‘I know. Poor guy. But he’s managing.’
Because he’s needed. Adam understood that all too well. ‘Mallory’s sitting in there with Meredith, so I assume she’s unhurt.’
‘Again, physically unhurt. At the end of it all, Mallory saved Meredith by slashing the shooter’s face, but she’s not really there right now. Close as we can figure it, she was kind of catatonic with Meredith standing between her and the shooter. He threw Meredith off her – that’s where the contusion on Meredith’s face came from – and that apparently shocked Mallory into action.’ Dani sighed. ‘But she’s crawled back into herself again. Hasn’t said another word.’
‘Dammit.’ He blinked hard to clear his head. Mallory is the target. He was furious with himself for missing it, for not even considering it after the restaurant shooting. But Andy had pointed his gun at Meredith and the second shot was aimed at Meredith. And Voss had been involved, somehow. And he’d been stalking Meredith.
Still, I should have at least considered it. Goddammit.
Dani patted his shoulder. ‘Why are you still standing here?’
He opened his mouth, but no words came out because Dani was right. He’d sped to the hospital like a bat out of hell, his only objective to see her, to touch her. But now that he was here? He stood outside her door, unable to push it open.
He closed his eyes, shuddering out a breath. ‘I almost lost her. Again. And . . . I don’t know what to say to her.’
‘You don’t have to say anything. Just hold her. Let her know you’re there.’
He shook his head miserably. ‘She’s there for everyone. How do I be there for her?’ He opened his eyes, met Dani’s as she smiled at him kindly. ‘I don’t know if I can.’
‘You don’t know if you can, or you don’t know if you can without breaking down?’
‘The second one,’ he admitted. ‘She’s been through enough tonight without watching me cry like a . . .’ He cut himself off before he said ‘like a girl.’
‘Like a person who cares about another person?’ she asked. ‘Adam, your father was wrong. It’s okay to have feelings. And it’s okay to cry. If you go in there and break down, hell, if you cry like Niagara-freaking-Falls, that’s okay. The world continues to spin. Now get your ass in there. Don’t make me tell you again,’ she added in a mock-scolding tone.
He nodded, squaring his shoulders. He could do this. He could be Meredith’s strength tonight. Except for the Niagara-freaking-Falls part. He didn’t cry. He just . . . didn’t.
Drawing a breath, he pushed the door open and stepped into the tiny little room. Tongue-tied for several hard beats of his heart, he settled for a soft, ‘Hey.’
Meredith opened her eyes with a start. ‘Adam.’ Her eyes welled, her voice breaking. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’