Easy Nights (Boudreaux #6)

He shoves his fingers through his light brown hair and crosses the room to the window, staring through it. His shoulders are wide, his waist lean, and he has the best damn ass I’ve ever seen.

Stop staring at his ass.

He’s quiet for so long, I lose patience. “Look, just say what you need to say, Ben.”

“We’d be here all night,” he says as he turns to look at me. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful, Van.”

I frown and will the mutant butterflies in my stomach to calm the fuck down.

“I’ve been attracted to you since we were teenagers.” He shrugs. “But you were my friends’ younger sister, and there’s a code amongst friends that you don’t date each other’s sisters.”

“Is that in a book somewhere?”

He doesn’t answer; he just paces the room, talking.

“I knew you were too young for me when I left for college, and that a relationship at that time in our lives never would have lasted.” He swallows hard. “And then, like I said earlier, life just took us in different directions. And then one day Eli calls me and says that you’re engaged.”

He turns to me now, his face ashen.

“It was the worst day of my life.”

“Ben—”

“No, I take that back. It was the second worst day of my life. The worst day of my life was walking into that bedroom after the sonofabitch tried to kill you.”

I close my eyes. I have nothing to be embarrassed about, but I hated that Ben saw me like that. It was almost worse than what Lance put me through.

“Look at me,” he says and I comply. “I almost killed him, Van.”

“I know.”

“No.” He shakes his head fiercely. “No, you don’t know. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. I took so much pleasure in making him bleed. In making him beg me to stop.”

Jesus.

“I have that in me, and I can’t deny that. What I do for a living is violent. And you’ve already had so much violence in your life, I can’t ask you to be mine. I just can’t.”

“You would never hurt me.”

“No. I wouldn’t. And I can promise you that. But for the first time in my life, on that day, I wanted to kill him. And the only thing that made me stop was the thought of going to prison and never seeing you again.”

The tears are flowing freely now. I can’t stop them. Ben is breaking my heart, and I didn’t think that was possible.

“I always thought that just having you in my life was enough. As long as you were happy and healthy, it was enough to be on the outside looking in, but it’s just not good enough anymore.”

He licks his lips; his eyes are locked on mine.

“You’ve been a good friend to me.”

“Yes. I’m the one you call when you need a ride home from girls’ night out. I’m the one you bounce ideas off of. Hell, that’s always been the case between us. And I’ve worked hard to keep my hands off of you.”

“What if I don’t want you to keep your hands off of me?”

He steps closer as his blue eyes darken with lust. I stand my ground, not afraid of him in the least.

His knuckles gently glide down my cheek as he leans in and kisses my forehead, my nose, the corner of my mouth.

“I’m going to kiss you.”

It’s not a question, and I’m not going to say no.

I feel like I’ve waited my whole damn life for this. I know all of the reasons that this can’t work, but I’m not strong enough to turn him down.

His lips slip over mine, pressing gently. Ben expertly moves the kiss from soft to passionate, wrapping his strong arms around me as I open up for him, inviting him to explore my mouth and lips, and he doesn’t disappoint. I’m drunk from his kiss. The room is spinning, and I have to hold onto his shoulders to steady myself.

Far too soon, he loosens his grip on me and kisses my forehead once again before stepping away altogether.

“Did that feel brotherly?”

“Maybe if we lived in Arkansas,” I say as I open my eyes. He smiles and then chuckles, pushing his hand through his hair again.

“I always loved your sassy mouth.”

He moves in again, but rather than kiss me, he just hugs me tightly.

“This is what I want,” he whispers. “You are what I want, Savannah. But it’s your choice. I need you to know that this, whatever this ends up being, is your choice.”

“I need to think,” I reply and bury my nose in his chest, breathing him in.

“You smell good,” he whispers.

“So do you.”

I pull out of his arms. “I need to think this all over. I need to know that if I can’t pursue a relationship with you, I won’t completely lose you, Ben.”

“You’ll never lose me, Vanny.”

“You might lose me if you keep calling me that.”

He just smiles. “I’m not going anywhere. This isn’t an ultimatum. I just have to be honest with you. I think you’re finally in a strong place, and I want to be a part of that.”

“You already have been.”

He nods. “If it helps, your brothers have been trying to talk me into asking you out for a while now.”

“So I heard today,” I reply. “That’s a bit embarrassing.”

“Why?”

“Having my brothers beg a guy to date me isn’t exactly a good thing.”

He smirks. “It wasn’t like that at all. They were encouraging. I’ve never told them everything that I told you today, but they know me. They see how I look at you. They just want us both to be happy.”

“They love you,” I say softly. “We all do, Ben.”

“I know.”

“Thank you for coming here to explain things. I needed it. And I need some time to think.”

“I figured you would. You always were a thinker.” He glances down at my lips, still wet from his kiss. “You think about it, and let me know when you’ve made up your mind.”

I nod, but I already know in my heart what I’m going to do.

I just can’t tell him. Not yet. I need to think, and talk to Daddy.

Which I don’t mention to him because that’ll just make me sound crazy.

“Have a good night.”

He nods and walks to the door, letting himself out. I hear his engine roar to life and the headlights make shadows in my living room as he drives away.

I immediately lower myself into a chair, unable to keep my shaking knees under me for another minute.

Ben just kissed the fuck out of me.

And he wants me.

And my family is on board with this.

Holy shit.





Chapter Five


Savannah

Have I been lying to myself for years? I mean, let’s put it all out there on the table. Or, in this case, my bamboo tray that slides over my bathtub. Sitting in a nice, warm bath is usually just the ticket to calm me down.

But nothing is calming me down tonight.

Ben left four hours ago and there is no chance that I’ll be sleeping tonight because my brain won’t shut the hell up. What am I supposed to do?

If overthink it until I’m sick to my stomach is the correct answer, well, I’m a success.

I did some yoga. I breathed deeply until I thought I was going to hyperventilate. I tried taking a walk but didn’t get far because I’m not a big fan of taking walks after dark.

Or taking walks in general.

The bath was my last-ditch effort, and it’s not going well so far.

Ben says he can’t just be friends with me. That he’s had feelings for me since we were kids. But he never said anything. Ever. And I definitely never let him know that I had a crush on him.