Kissing behind her knees, licking my way between her thighs until she screamed my name.
Until she knew what real pleasure was.
Not some prick getting off.
But love.
The kind of passion she was born for.
The kind she would never get from Chris.
Me. Only me.
I focused totally on her as I dropped the jeans next to us fully aware that there were cameras, I turned my back so that security couldn’t see shit even if they wanted to.
I’d delete it in the morning.
Or maybe keep it and watch her face when I had nothing left of her except the memory of her taste on my lips.
She didn’t move to cover up anything as I followed through on my fantasy and leaned my face toward her hips. Inhaled and exhaled against her hips, and then very gently bit down on the lace of her underwear and slowly tugged it down her leg, watching her watch me the entire time.
Her chest rose and fell slowly.
Her eyes hooded as she clutched her hands into tight fists.
I released her underwear from my teeth and stared.
At every effortless piece of her.
“You’re more,” I said reverently.
“More,” she repeated in a whisper. “What do mean?”
Even now I could see the hesitation in her gaze, the fear that I was going to turn into him. She was used to being screwed.
No pleasure.
She expected men to have no control.
Control was all I had left to give her.
She’d already taken my heart.
“More,” I reached for her hand and kissed her fingertips one by one, then moved between her legs, resting my hands on her thighs. “You’re more beautiful than I could have possibly imagined, more tempting than I ever realized, you’re more in every way, El. Just. More.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I wish.”
“What?”
“That I could get looked at the way you look at me — every day.”
“You will,” I promised. “Even if you don’t see me, know that every night for the rest of my life, I’ll look at you just the way I am now — even if you can’t see me.”
She nodded, tears filled her eyes.
I wasn’t safe.
But a part of me hoped she’d still see the good.
Amidst all the bad.
I kissed her then.
Kissed her with the promises still fresh on my tongue.
Sealing them between us.
Something inside me mourned the loss of what could have been with the girl that should have been.
She wrapped her arms around my neck, her mouth pressed against mine, completely naked from the waist down, in only her bra and she still kissed me with abandon.
Women like her were made to be worshipped for hours.
I pulled away then kissed her again.
“Your kisses distract me,” I said aloud.
“Isn’t that the point?” She said sadly.
“No.” I lowered my head. “This is.”
My first taste of her would be cemented in my brain and etched in my soul for the rest of my existence.
Her hips bucked against my face. “I’ve never — this isn’t something—”
“No, he wouldn’t do this because he was a bastard who deserved death.” I stopped and glanced up at her. “I’m making up for it right now.”
“That’s not your job you know…”
Loving you has always been my job. I just didn’t know it.
More things left unsaid.
Her gaze didn’t leave mine as I leaned down my tongue invaded every tight inch of her. I drank her in as her body contracted around me, begged me for more with each touch of my tongue. I sucked deep.
“Don’t stop—” she cried. “Please don’t stop.”
“Never,” I rasped against her core as she dug her hands into my hair. “Could stay here forever…” Another swirl of my tongue. “Live here forever.”
“Yes.” Voice hoarse, she lifted to meet me again and again, I loved her with my mouth, played her with my tongue, tasted her like she was mine to taste.
A shudder wracked my body as she contracted around my tongue squeezing me tight, and I wished in that moment I would have done the shitty thing.
And filled her with me instead of only part of me.
Her muscles spasmed again, I sucked harder, reaching my fingers in to her most sensitive areas.
And set her free.
“Dante, Dante, Dante,” She clamped her legs around me, my name on her lips, the taste of her on mine. “I never knew.”
If it was possible for someone’s heart to break multiple times, mine would have.
“Good,” I whispered reverently, as her face lit up with a smile. “I’m glad it wasn’t him… but me.”
“Me too.” She reached for me just as I lowered my head to kiss her, our hands intertwined as she rocked me onto my back straddling me yet again, reaching for my belt.
“No.” I grabbed her eager hands. “I’m not taking that from you.”
“But—” her eyes clouded. “I don’t understand, don’t you…” She chewed her lower lip. “Don’t you want to?”
“Do I want to?” I repeated, then rubbed myself against those eager hands. “What do you think?”
She blushed again.
“You’re not mine.” I hated the way it killed the look of bliss on her face.
“Why does this feel like goodbye?”
Because it was.
Because he was coming back.
Because he’d already kissed her.
Because I had a feeling a war was coming, and I would do anything I could to keep her as far away from it as possible.
“Memories,” I reminded her. “Good memories.”
She swallowed and looked away as another tear fell. “The best.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
El
I WASN’T SURE he was going to hold me while I slept. My body was still buzzing from him. I’d never known that kind of feeling from anyone.
And the man who’d scared me the most when I first got to Chicago — was the one who gave it to me. Freely. Without asking for anything in return.
Fairy Tales had it all backward didn’t they?
Princes grew up in lives of privilege, they never wanted for anything or anyone.
Monsters grow up knowing exactly what everyone thinks of them and fight anyway.
Princes catch — and keep you for themselves.
Monsters capture — only to set you free.
I didn’t cry into my pillow when an hour passed and I didn’t feel Dante next to me.
Instead, I checked my phone and sighed when a message from Chris waited.
Can’t wait until this weekend! XO XO
I turned my phone on its screen so I wouldn’t see it anymore. And stared at the boring white walls.
What would life be like without Dante in it?
Boring.
Empty.
Safe.
The bed dipped.
“Dante.” My voice shook.
He pulled me against his chest and kissed the back of my head. “Sleep.”
“I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“What changed your mind?”
“Not enough memories, El.” He tightened his hold on my body. “I needed just one more.”
“And sleep was one of them?”
“I’m not sleeping — not tonight. Tonight I’m going to hold you until you fall asleep so that when you’re gone, I’ll remember what it felt like to have you in my arms.”
“Safe.” Using the word with him felt right in so many ways.
“From your enemies, yes—” His mouth found my neck in a painful kiss. “But El, you will never be safe from me.”