I nodded. “That’s not an answer.”
“Then pray to God we never get ourselves in that kind of situation,” he murmured low in his throat, he snapped his attention back to the steering wheel. “Don’t you have chemistry? You know you’d think with all that training Sergio did with you, you’d be a better liar.”
“I just needed to get you out of the house before Nixon suspected anything,” I said, keeping it honest.
Chase jerked his attention to me. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what it sounded like.” I shrugged. “You’re living under his roof while you build your dream house, live next to him long enough and he gets… comfortable, he ignores the simple things like the way you look at Mil like you don’t even know who she is anymore, like the simple fact that you haven’t shared a bed with your own wife in over two weeks.”
Chase sucked in a breath.
“Should I keep talking?”
“It’s like I have a fucking spy in my own home.” He groaned. “And it’s not for lack of trying, the sleeping in separate beds. At first she said she didn’t want to wake me up…” His voice caught. “Two nights ago, I saw her washing blood from her hands, she couldn’t get it off fast enough. Her eyes were haunted. I asked her if it was hers or someone else’s… but does it really matter anymore?” He snorted. “Blood, it’s all red. It should all stay inside the body.” He rubbed his lips together and slammed his hand on the steering wheel. “I wouldn’t wish this on my greatest enemy.”
“This?” I repeated.
Chase put the car in reverse and nodded toward my door in his get the hell out way I was used to.
“This,” He said once I opened my door. “Watching someone you love slowly disappear and a stranger take her place. The mafia never promised to be fair… I just didn’t realize it would be this cruel, not after everything we’ve already been through.”
“It could be nothing,” I said quickly. “I mean it’s Mil we’re talking about.”
“Blood in, no out, Dante.” His voice lowered. “Once a De Lange, always a De Lange.”
“But Phoenix—”
“Wouldn’t hesitate to kill his own sister if he knew she was doing anything against the families. Neither would Tex. Nixon. Frank — you don’t get it yet do you? Blood wins out. Every fucking time.”
He screeched out of the parking spot just in time for me to see El and Chris walking hand in hand toward the business building.
And I had to wonder.
If someone asked me to shoot her to prove my loyalty.
If my own family asked me to end her in order to protect us.
Would I do it?
The thought haunted me the entire way to class.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
El
CHRIS HAD WARM hands.
And he talked — a lot.
But I was actually thankful for his talking especially when I could somehow feel Dante’s eyes on my back, watching, calculating.
And still, I could still feel his arms around my body the warmth of his touch and the almost kiss that should have never happened in the first place.
He was dangerous.
Bad for me.
He wasn’t safe.
He was right about everything. That was why I was holding that warm hand and smiling at all the right times and leaning in when it was socially acceptable to get a bit closer.
“You haven’t heard anything I just said have you?” Chris smirked, stopping me in my tracks right in front of my building.
My eyes widened. “Of course I have, I’m sorry I just — it was a long night.”
In someone else’s arms.
My sheets would smell like him.
Oh God what kind of torture was this?
I forced my smile again.
Chris sighed. “I like you, you know that right?”
I nodded weakly.
He smiled, it was a nice smile, and it made me feel cruel for using him in a way that he didn’t deserve.
“Hey,” He tilted my chin toward him, he was good looking, he wasn’t anywhere near Dante’s level of sexual magnetism but he was handsome in all the right places. He was like the model you’d see on an Abercrombie bag shirtless on his way to Harvard.
So why did I want the tattooed bad boy who by all means should be in prison?
“Look at me,” Chris asked softly. “I know I’m not like them—” He stopped himself before saying. “I can still protect you. I can give you what you need, but you have to give me a chance.”
I nodded again.
“Promise me you’ll give me a chance, El. I can’t fight a battle I’ve already lost. Let me take you out next time I’m back in town, all right?”
I licked my lips. “All right.”
His face lit up with a bright smile. “Great.”
Before I could stop him, he’d placed a chaste kiss on my lips, he tasted like coffee and mint.
I didn’t flinch or back away.
But it made me feel somehow — dirty.
That I was once again a pawn in a game I never asked to be a part of, being sold to a side I wasn’t even sure I was fighting with.
He kissed my head next and then he was gone.
I didn’t walk into the building.
I waited.
For the inevitable.
And one minute later, Dante was standing next to me.
We walked side by side into the building.
I went left.
He went right.
There may as well be a chasm of words that separated us.
And yet neither of us reached out and built that bridge, took the words and formed them into sentences that needed to be said.
The moment was lost.
Doors closed.
And I felt sicker in that moment listening to my professor, than I did with Xavier.
And I had no idea why.
Nor was I going to get a chance to.
Andrei walked in a few minutes late, locked eyes with me and took a seat right next to me.
I squirmed a little but tried to ignore him.
“I need to talk to Dante,” he said under his breath.
“Then go find him and talk,” I hissed careful not to look at him.
“You’re prettier to look at.” I could hear the smirk in his tone, as he leaned closer to me, his body heat attempted to penetrate my shield. “Besides, I figure another test is in order — I know I can trust him — but can I trust you?”
I scowled. “I’m just trying to go to school — to rebuild my life.”
“You had a life. A good life,” he said simply. “Xavier gave you everything, you wanted for nothing and he spread your legs every night and gave you more. Don’t be an unthankful bitch.”
Bile rose in my throat. I refused to look at him. He wouldn’t understand. He didn’t value women.
Only money.
And himself.
“Give him this. Don’t read it. I’ll know if you do.” He slid a note onto my desk and returned his attention to the professor.
I snatched the note and shoved it in my bag.
When class was over, I bolted and went in search of Dante.
It didn’t take long to find him — outside.
Cornered by a girl I didn’t know.
Smiling at her like they were familiar.
Jealousy shot through me as I made my way over to him.
His smile fell when he saw me.
He dismissed the girl without saying anything and met me half way, pulling me into his arms. “What happened?”