How awkward that he was with a woman and carrying on a conversation with me.
I couldn’t sleep that night. All I could think about was this image of Landon smoking by the beach in California. I fantasized about the ocean air as I wondered about what he actually looked like now.
When the insomnia wouldn’t let up, I pulled myself out of bed and walked over to my closet before taking out the backpack of notes and randomly selecting one to unfold.
Rana Banana,
Why do your clothes always smell like weird spices? It makes me want to go to Taco Bell.
Landon
P.S. You think your dad could drive us to Taco Bell some time?
SHOW ME YOU
The next afternoon, I passed my roommate on the way out.
“Have a nice day, Lenny.”
He simply grunted as he took his lunch to his room. I didn’t care whether he acknowledged me or not, as long as he didn’t bother me or suffocate me in my sleep.
Dodging puddles, I rushed to the bus stop as my cell phone vibrated.
I picked up without checking the caller ID. “Hello?”
His voice was unexpected. “I feel like we ended on a weird note last night.”
“I’m pretty sure the whole thing was weird, Landon. Not just the ending.”
“Well, I prefer happy endings.”
“I bet you do.”
He laughed. “Hey, I meant to ask you before you hung up on me…did you ever figure out the Rubik’s Cube?”
What an odd question. Then, I remembered that at one time, mastering the cube by matching all of the colors was an important life goal.
“No. No, I didn’t.”
“Neither, did I. It wasn’t from lack of trying. But I figured maybe you never did, either.”
“How were you so sure I never figured it out?”
“Well, you left your cube behind in the old apartment, for one. You couldn’t have been that dedicated. I still have it.”
That really surprised me. “You do?”
“Yeah.”
“You took it with you to California?”
“I did.”
“What made you call me right now?”
“The same reason you called me last night…curiosity? Except admittedly, I’m not drunk.”
The embarrassment for my behavior last night hadn’t waned. “Well, I’m kind of in a rush right now, so…”
“Where are you going?”
“I visit a ten-year-old girl once a week as part of the Detroit Big Sister program. Her name is Lilith. I meet her at her house and take her out.”
“So, you’re like a mentor…”
“Yes.”
“That’s really cool of you to do that.”
“Yeah, well, I sort of feel like she’s the big sister sometimes. She’s very mature for her age, and many days, I’m the one in need of the company.”
“I think that’s the balls. How long are you with her?”
“A couple of hours. I have to go straight to work after I drop her back home.”
“Oh, that’s right. The belly dancing.”
“Yes. It’s at a Greek restaurant. It’s only temporary. It pays the bills for now. I don’t plan to do it forever.”
“I think it’s amazing, nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not...ashamed.”
“I just wish I could witness it.”
“Yeah, that won’t be happening.” Changing the subject, I asked, “What do you do…for work?”
“I’m sort of a jack-of-all-trades. At the moment, I’m an aspiring chef, although not exactly Wolfgang Puck or anything.”
“Very nice. Well, I’d better go. The bus is going to be coming.”
“You take the bus?”
“Yes. I don’t have a car right now.”
“Can’t afford it?”
Unsure of whether to admit it, I sighed. “I don’t drive, actually.”
“Really? Like never learned?”
“That’s correct.”
“Why didn’t you learn?”
“No one ever taught me.”
“Shit. I wouldn’t be able to survive out here if I couldn’t drive.”
“Yeah, well, luckily there’s the bus.”
“Are you ever gonna learn?”
This was a sore spot, something that embarrassed me, and I really didn’t want to talk about it. “I don’t know.”
“It’s only going to be harder the longer you put it off, you know.”
“Yeah, I’m quite aware of that as I’m currently waiting in the rain for the bus.”
“Well, shit, this makes me want to teach you how to fucking drive.”
“No, that won’t be happening. Anyway, I have to go. I—”
“Can I call you later?” he interrupted.
“Why?”
“I feel like we haven’t finished talking about what happened. You know…when you left.”
“You mean when I got kicked out.”
“No, when—”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Clearly, it matters to you if after thirteen years you’re still thinking about it, enough to call me before anyone else in the world when you were drunk. I feel like we need to maybe…clear some things up. How about this? I’ll drunk dial you later.”
I stayed silent as the bus came to a screeching halt in front of me before the doors opened.
Scanning my pass, I said, “You’re gonna get drunk and call me?”
“Sure, why not? An eye for an eye. What time will you be home?”
Grabbing a seat, I asked, “Aren’t drunk dials supposed to be acts of spontaneity?”
“Would you rather me surprise you at an inopportune moment?”
He had a point. At least this way, I would be prepared.
“I’ll be home around eleven my time.”
“Okay…I’ll be calling you.” He snickered. “And I’ll be drunk.”
I laughed as I looked around to see if anyone was observing my giddy behavior. “Okay.”
“Be prepared, Rana.”
Lilith was tapping her foot as she waited on her front porch for me. “You’re late.”
Nothing like getting reprimanded by the kid you’re supposed to be setting a good example for.
“I know. I’m sorry. The bus always goes slower in the rain.”
“Do you need an umbrella?”
“If you have an extra?”
She ran back inside and grabbed me a little, cheap one that I knew wouldn’t last in this wind.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Froyo?”
“I thought you stopped eating sugar.”
She was like a bossy old lady sometimes.
“I did. They have the sugar-free one. That vanilla flavor.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Okay.”
When we arrived at the frozen yogurt place, we each grabbed one of the neon green cups and filled them with as much yogurt and toppings as we could fit. I preferred a mixture of chocolate and nuts while Lilith always went for gummy worms and Cap’n Crunch cereal.
Getting a load of my mountain of candy-covered yogurt, she busted my balls. “Nice sugar-free diet?”
“You got me.” I winked.
We took a seat at the bright, orange-colored table that was slightly sticky from the previous customer.
Lilith and I ate in silence until she finally spoke.
“Why do you come see me?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why do you show up every week? My mom says they don’t pay you.”
“It makes me feel good to be around you, makes me feel like I’m contributing to this world by being a role model for you when I didn’t really have one myself growing up.”
“But you seem sad some of the time.”
“Yeah, well, maybe that’s my mood when I arrive sometimes, but I always leave happier after I’ve hung out with you. How about that?”