“Bella, I understand. Take all the time you need. Take years if you need it. One day you’ll see who I am and understand that I don’t take commitments lightly.”
“I know that.” She tightened her grip on his hand. “I feel the same way you do. When I’m with you, everything feels right.” She pressed her lips together and her eyes grew serious. “Know what scares me the most? When I’m with you, I let myself be vulnerable, and if you know me, you know I’m anything but vulnerable.”
“Bella…”
“Let me finish, because this is hard to admit out loud. If any other man had said they wanted to put locks on my doors and windows, I’d have sent them away. If they showed up at the beach when I was there with my friends just to make sure I was okay, I’d have thought they were too possessive and found excuses to distance myself from them. If they—”
Caden ran his hand through his hair and blew out a loud breath. “So, basically you’re saying that I’ve done everything wrong.”
“No,” she said quietly. “You’ve done everything right, Caden, and for the first time in my life, I’ve allowed myself to let someone do those things.”
“Okay, now you’re confusing me. So that’s a bad thing?”
“Yes, that’s a bad thing.” She held her hands up as if she were making total sense, and for the life of him, Caden had no clue why. Nothing she was saying made any sense to him. “Don’t you see?” she pleaded.
“Treat me like a student and walk me through it, because honestly, no. I’m completely at a loss. Isn’t it good that you feel comfortable enough with me to allow me to do those things?”
“Yes. It’s a good thing, but it’s like standing on a street corner naked and waiting for the guy you’re dating to drive by—and every time he does, you wonder if he’s going to throw tomatoes or whistle.”
She nodded again, as if she were making sense. She probably was, but not in man-speak.
“Come again?”
“Ugh! Okay. Listen carefully. This morning I noticed that there was a loose board on my deck, and my first thought was, Oh, Caden can fix that for me.”
“Sure. I’m happy to.” He never considered himself a complete novice in the world of women, but now he was having his doubts.
“That’s just it. I know you will, and before you, I’d have thought, Let me get my hammer.” She held her palms up again. “See the issue? With you I let myself be a…a…”
“Girlfriend?”
“A girl.”
He couldn’t stifle a laugh. “Sorry, but uh, if you weren’t a girl, then you and I would definitely never happen.”
“Tsk.” She playfully pushed his chest and smiled. “A weak girly girl. I left that girl behind in high school, and I worked really hard to become a woman who could be completely self-sufficient. But I’m so comfortable with you that I let you do things I can—and should—do myself.”
He did the only thing he could do. He wrapped her in his arms.
“Bella, Bella, Bella. It’s okay to be a girly girl. In fact, I love your strong, efficient side as much as your girly girl side. What’s the worst that happens? You let me do a few things you can do on your own, and in return I let you lead me down a path of allowing myself to have a life separate from my son?”
“Yes.” She smiled up at him. “That’s exactly it. Then if you hurt me, I have to get used to doing all those things again.”
“And if you break up with me? I’d have had a taste of life with you, and after being with you, there’s no going back. So we’re in the same boat.” He kissed her lips and felt her smile. “This would have been a lot easier if you’d just said that you feel the same way but you’re afraid of becoming too reliant on me.”
She jumped from the truck. “That’s what I did say.”
Caden shook his head to try to clear his confusion.
“Just to be sure I understand. You are falling for me? And it’s okay if I do things for you and treat you like a girly girl sometimes? Or should I not fix the deck and bring you flowers?”
She grabbed her tote from the back of the truck and swung it over her shoulder. “Falling for you, check. Bring me flowers, check. Fix my deck?” She went up on tiptoes and kissed the dimple in his chin. “You’re the first guy who picked up on my love of pink. You can fix my stupid deck as long as you know I’m completely capable of doing it myself.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a challenge?” He took the tote from her arm and carried it to the deck.
“No,” she said as she unlocked the door. “They usually call me a pain in the butt.”
“Well, there is that, but a welcome pain with a fine butt.”
Chapter Fourteen
BELLA MADE PASTA salad and brownies to bring to Caden’s for dinner, and when violin music weaved its way into her window, she decided to bring a few brownies to Jamie and Vera for being so nice to Evan. She found them on their deck. Jamie had a cocktail in one hand, and his other hand tapped a beat on the glass table. Vera smiled and continued playing.
“I thought I smelled something delicious. I figured Leanna was baking,” Jamie said. He pulled out a chair for Bella.
“I only have a sec. I’m on my way to Caden’s for dinner, but I wanted to bring these by and say thank you for letting Evan hang out with you.” She set the plate on the table.
Jamie looked relaxed in a pair of shorts and a loose cotton shirt. He didn’t shave on the weekends because, It makes me feel like I’m really on vacation.
“He’s an interesting kid. He’s smart as a whip, but I get the feeling he’s struggling a little,” Jamie said.
Bella heard what he said through teacher’s ears and lowered herself into the chair. She knew that it was often outsiders—teachers, coaches, neighbors—who picked up on issues with teenagers before their parents did.
“Caden said he’s going through a teenage phase. I hope he wasn’t rude to you or Vera.”
Vera stopped playing and laid the violin in her lap.
“That was beautiful, Vera,” Bella said.
“Thank you, dear.” Vera turned her attention to Jamie. “I wonder, Jamie, what did you see with Evan? He seems like a very pleasant young man, and he’s shown quite an interest in what you are teaching him. He seems to enjoy listening to me play as well.”
“He is a really nice kid. He just seemed distracted today. He was texting a lot more than he did last time, and I could see that he was struggling to give me his full attention.” Jamie sipped his drink. “Can I get you a drink?”
“No. I’m okay, thanks. I think most teenagers feel like they need to be plugged in twenty-four seven or they’ll miss something. And he’s just made new friends, so that might be part of it. I’ll have Caden talk to him. I don’t want him to be rude to you.” She made a mental note to speak to Caden about Evan’s phone etiquette.
“No, you don’t need to do that. I actually really enjoy teaching him. Last winter a buddy and I taught a workshop to a dozen or so teenagers. Even when Evan’s not fully tuned in, he’s more engaged than most kids when they’re paying full attention, and he’s respectful, which I appreciate. Especially with Gram.”
Vera patted his hand.