He whispered against her lips. “I swear I love more about you than your body. I really do.”
He kissed her softly, and she tried to deepen the kiss, but he drew back, teasing her once again. Every sensation magnified with each hot breath as he whispered against her ear, “But I want to make love to you.”
She fisted her hand in the fabric of his shorts and licked her lips.
“You know that drives me crazy.” He kissed her again, and she opened her mouth wider, trying to take more of him.
His hands gripped her hips and held on tight as he brought his mouth down to her belly. “I love how you tremble when I touch you.”
Tremble. Touch. More.
His hands left a hot trail as they slid up. He nibbled the edge of her jaw, bringing her nerves to the surface of her skin. She sensed his face over hers, and forced her eyes open.
His gaze slid to the water, and the edge of his lips curved up. “Up for a swim?”
Yes! Her mouth still wasn’t working. He sank to his knees beside her and drew her close.
“I don’t have a condom,” he whispered.
Her heart was beating so hard she was sure he could feel it. She forced herself to speak. “I really am on the pill. I’m not a college girl just looking for sex, or someone who forgets to take the pill religiously and willing to risk a pregnancy.”
He touched his forehead to hers. “I know, Bella.”
She quieted, letting him make the decision. She wanted to be close to him, to be with him in every sense, and as he contemplated the situation, she was hit with a thought so powerful that it drew her back. She could see herself having a child with him.
“I haven’t risked this since Caty.” He pressed his hands to her cheeks and gazed into her eyes with the most serious look she’d ever seen on him. Her pulse quickened from the uncertainty of what it meant. His jaw clenched, and his eyebrows drew together. His eyes swept over the empty lake. They were alone, so very alone. It felt like they were the only people on earth.
“We don’t have to…” she offered.
“I want to, Bella. I want you. I want you in every way possible.” He kissed her then, and she couldn’t hold back any longer.
She grasped at his shoulder, his back, his hair, whatever she could reach.
“Water.” A command. Another desirous thrill.
He stepped over the side and reached for her. “Come to me, baby.”
She leaned toward him, and in one swift move, he had her in his arms, the cool water warmed in seconds. He sealed his mouth to hers and kissed her like he needed her in order to breathe. His powerful legs kept them afloat. He tore his lips from hers, breathing hard.
“Caden.” She paused to catch her breath. I love you. “I…I’ve never done this before. You’re my first outside lover.”
“I hope to be your last.”
Chapter Thirteen
AFTER SPENDING THE afternoon lying on the boat, then dozing beneath the warm sun, Caden thought the urge to tell Bella he loved her might have subsided, or at least lessened to a nag rather than a continuous, all-consuming need he could barely contain. Boy, had he been wrong. He fought the urge to share his feelings with every breath he took. After they arrived back at her cottage, Caden wanted to savor their last moments alone. He still felt a tether of guilt over those thoughts because of Evan, but all it took was one look at the love in Bella’s eyes for him to push that guilt aside and bring her hand to his lips.
“Sorry I introduced you into a world of debauchery?” Bella’s cheeks pinked up against the tawny glow of her fresh tan.
“Hardly a world of debauchery, and that was my idea, remember?” He leaned across the center console and touched her cheek. “Wait right there.” He stepped from the truck and opened her door. Bella shifted in her seat, placing her legs on either side of him. Caden folded her into his arms and breathed in the coconut scent of her suntan lotion.
“Mm,” she murmured. “Quite possibly the best Saturday ever.”
He drew back and gazed into her eyes. He knew committing to seeing him was a big step for Bella, and heck, it was a big step for him, too. He thought about her as much as he thought of Evan, and he couldn’t deny that he cared about her as much, too. But would he scare her off if he admitted it to her? All afternoon he’d tried to gauge her feelings for him, and he thought they were definitely on the same page, but what did he know? He hadn’t allowed anyone into his heart for years.
“If you keep looking at me like that, you’re going to make me worry,” Bella said. “You look like you’re debating breaking up with me.”
He smiled and touched her cheek. “Just the opposite.”
She drew her brows together.
“I think I’m falling in love with you.” His feelings didn’t tumble or jump from his lips. They came easily, softly spoken and smooth as silk. They were true, so stinkin’ true.
In the space of a breath, Bella’s eyes widened and her lips curved into a smile. Then her eyes narrowed and she hooked her finger into the waist of his bathing suit. Her lips parted—every second felt like a lifetime as he waited for a response that he could understand.
“Caden,” she whispered. Her eyes searched his and her mouth opened, as if she were going to say more; then she trapped her lower lip between her teeth.
He brushed her hair from her shoulder. “I can’t help it, babe.” His voice refused to speak louder than a whisper, and in this intimate unveiling of his heart, a whisper was all that was needed. She rested her forehead against his chest and wrapped her arms around him. Caden stroked her hair, wishing she’d say more—and wondering if he’d made a mistake by saying as much as he had.
Bella lifted her head at the sound of Vera’s violin. He repressed the heartache brewing inside of him in an effort to give Bella whatever space she needed to digest his words. When she finally looked up at him again, he still couldn’t read her thoughts.
It took every iota of his strength to step back and give her physical space as well as emotional room to think.
“I guess I’d better get Evan.”
“Caden.” She reached for his hand and drew him close again. “I feel it, too, but I’m scared. What if I don’t get a job here? What if my house doesn’t sell? My real estate agent left a message and I haven’t checked it yet. What if I have to move back to Connecticut because it doesn’t sell?”
He knew her well enough to sense that what she was really worried about wasn’t any of those things. He also knew her well enough to know that she might not want to admit the truth, but he had to try to get her to open up to him. At least to the idea of them.
“What if I lie to you?” he whispered. “What if I hurt you? Isn’t that what you really mean?”
She shifted her eyes away.