Bella rolled her eyes. “I’m not looking for a scrump and dump. I just don’t want to have a scrump-and-be-lied-to or a scrump-and-make-bad-life-decisions experience.”
“Because you dated some jerk who told you he was divorced and he was really working things out with his wife? What power did that guy have over you to make you change who you are? You’re Bella Abbascia, the epitome of strength and confidence. You’re beautiful and smart, and you built an amazing career for yourself. What did that guy do to you for you to leave that all behind?” Tony rose to his feet and paced beside Bella’s chair. “And if he did something so bad, then why on earth didn’t you call me so I could beat the tar out of him?”
“Excellent point,” Jenna said as she rolled onto her side and put on her sunglasses.
Bella rose from her lounge chair and sat at the table with a sigh.
Tony came to her side and placed his hand on her shoulder. “You’re not alone in this, Bella. No matter what it is.”
“I know.” She leaned back and kicked out a chair. “Sit down.”
Tony lowered himself to the chair, and Jenna joined them on Bella’s other side.
Bella pressed her palms flat on the table and drew in a deep breath. She’d held the truth in for months, and it would be a relief to get it off her chest. It would also be a slap in the face, and she knew how much that slap would sting. And she knew that she could spill her guts to Jenna, Tony, or any of the other friends here at Seaside, and they’d soothe that sting with more love than she could ever hope for.
“Okay. The truth is, it wasn’t him. It was me. It is me. This was my decision any way you cut it. Jay was nothing. He lied to me. Yeah, that stung, but I broke up with him the moment I found out. But changing my life—taking control of my life?” She shook her head. “That’s all me, baby. I took a good look at my love life and my professional life. And trust me, it wasn’t easy to take off the rose-colored glasses and open my eyes, but I did. You’re right, Tony. I’m strong, and you know what? I’m not sure that’s a great thing when it comes to relationships. I’m loud. I say things that can be harsh or misconstrued. I joke about things that other people might not, but I like who I am.”
Jenna lifted her brows. “We love who you are.”
“Thank you, Jen. I love you guys, too.” She sighed. “I just realized that maybe the reason relationships don’t work for me is that I’m not supposed to be in one. It seems like we women are always looking for Mr. Right, and I realized that I don’t need Mr. Right. I just need to be happy with myself, and I am. So, I decided to take charge of my life and make a change. Sink or swim. And part of taking charge of my career and my life is setting aside the pathetic need to be in a relationship.”
“Bella—” Tony began.
“No, let me finish. You guys know me. I’m a no-bull person. What you see is what you get with me, right?”
Jenna nodded.
“Pretty much, but you hide a lot, Bell, even if you don’t want to admit it,” Tony said.
“I hide?”
“Yeah. You tuck away parts of yourself. I can’t explain it, but I’ve known you long enough to recognize it. It’s not a bad thing. It’s like when I’m surfing. The people I meet around my competitions want to know me because of what I stand for, not who I am. So around those people, I don’t show my real self. You kind of do the same thing. Maybe it’s not the loud part of you that makes relationships difficult, but it’s keeping that other part of you walled off that, I don’t know, creates a gap. Guys feel that, you know. When you women think we don’t know you’re hiding something, we totally see it.”
She chewed on that thought for a minute. There was probably some truth to it, but she wanted to finish her thoughts, and she was too distracted to define those pieces of truth just then. She pushed the thought away to deal with later.
“Okay, maybe you’re right in some ways. And you’re also right, Tony, about me not screwing around for the sake of screwing around.”
“Wait. Hold up.” Jenna held her palm up toward Bella. “Timmy Brown? Taylor Marks? Do either of those ring a bell?”
“Okay, so maybe there were a few times. For crying out loud, Jenna, what were we? Twenty-two? But it’s not a habit, and you know that. I might talk big, but I want love like everyone else does. I want the stupid white picket fence and the, Hi, honey; I’m home, and all the other baloney that goes along with it.”
Tony shrugged. “Okay, but why can’t you have that and a career?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not some desperate woman who thinks she’s not worth being loved.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m so not that person.”
“We know that.” Tony reached out and touched her hand. “I was just worried that you gave up everything because of a guy.”
“Nope. He was just a nudge to get off my butt and do what I really want to do. I’m a realist. I can handle this, and it’s a good thing. I might actually get to live in my favorite place on earth and fill my creative soul with a challenge.” She inhaled deeply, feeling her smile fill her with happiness. “So my very long-winded answer about why he had the power to hurt me is that he didn’t. He lied about his wife and about his commitment to me, and yes, that stung, and maybe it even made me worry about guys knowing how to not lie. I am only human. But I didn’t make my decision to change my life and my dating habits because of Jay. I did it because of me. I happened to realize what I wanted at the same time that I broke up with him.” She shrugged again.
Tony sat back and crossed his arms. He slid a concerned look to Jenna.
Jenna shrugged. “The woman does know how to take control.”
He shifted his eyes back to Bella. “I can’t argue with that. You’re right. It’s actually a ballsy move.”
“Thank you.”
“What about not-your-date?” Tony asked. “What’s your plan with him? He brought his kid over. Chances are he’s not a scrump and dumper.”
“Not-my-date and I have a not-a-date tonight. Speaking of which, now that I’ve spilled my pathetic guts, I need to get some work done so I can be ready by six.”
CADEN STOPPED AT the hardware store on his way home from the station to pick up extra window and door locks for the house, and while he was there, he picked up locks for Bella’s cottage, too. There had been another breakin last night, and he was not taking any chances. He put his bags on the kitchen table and unbuttoned his shirt.
“Ev?” he called down the hall.
Evan didn’t answer.
“Evan?” He knocked on Evan’s bedroom door, and a minute later, Evan opened it. His hair was uncombed, his shirt was wrinkled, as if he’d pulled it from the hamper.
“Hey, Dad. Sorry. I didn’t hear you.” He went to his computer and studied the screen. “We’re going to Jamie’s at six, right?”
“Yeah. I need to shower and change, and you should, too.” He moved behind Evan and scanned the monitor. “What’s Python?”