But I do.
He likes her. He wants her, and for him to have taken a kiss . . . Every kiss is mine. That’s an intimacy he doesn’t get. Ever.
Damn thief.
The door cracks open, and Kai sticks her bed-rumpled head in, an unspoken plea loud in her eyes.
“Your minute’s up,” she whispers. “Can I come in?”
When are you ever out?
I nod, studying the cold tiles under my bare feet. She steps in wearing the wife beater I had under my sweatshirt, so big on her the collar slides off her shoulder, barely covering her breasts, and the hem hangs to mid-thigh. The sight of her in something that still smells like me, may even still hold the heat from my skin, softens the hard knot of rage in my chest.
She sits on the floor, back to the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, hands wrapped around her ankles
“You know I wouldn’t kiss Dub, right?” she asks softly. “And you can only blame him for so much because I didn’t tell him we’re together. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”
She looks up, shoulders tensed like she’s braced for a blow.
“I’m not comfortable with this arrangement anymore,” I say after a few seconds I use to calm down a little more.
“What arrangement?” Caution takes over her expression.
“You working so closely with Dub.”
“Rhyson, I don’t get a say about that. It’s Luke’s tour, not mine.”
“It could be. You could come to Prodigy and have your own tour.”
“Oh, you mean you could gift me a tour out of the goodness of your heart.” She shakes her head, dark strands of hair clinging to her shoulders. “When will you get that I don’t want you giving me anything. I don’t want a hand out because I’m your girlfriend.”
“This is a useless conversation because we won’t see eye to eye.” I grip my knees, holding onto my control. “And I didn’t cross the Atlantic to spend the one night I have with you fighting.”
She nods, looking up from the floor, the stiff lines of her face softening.
“What do you want, Rhyson?”
I shake my head, a weary sigh crossing my lips.
“Don’t ask me that unless you really want to know.”
“Tell me.”
“Okay.” I shove my fingers through my hair, looking her dead in the eye as I lay it all out on the line. “I want Dub out of your life. I want you off this tour that’s wrecking you. I want you on my label where I can take care of you. And I don’t want to pretend we aren’t together. How’s that?”
She gives me a look that’s half helpless, half frustrated.
“Those are all things I can’t change right now, Rhys.”
“Won’t,” I correct. “Things you won’t change. Not can’t.”
She presses her forehead to her knees, muffling her words.
“Then I don’t know how to make you happy.”
I’m not handling this well. Neither of us is. We take turns hurting and pissing each other off. I brush her hair back and cup her chin, bringing her eyes back to me.
“Kai, I have you back. We just had amazing sex, and I get to fall asleep with you in my arms tonight. Believe me—I’m happy.” I force a smile. “You asked me what I want. That’s something different.”
“Most of what you want is out of my control.” She grabs my hand stroking her hair, turning my knuckles to her lips. “What can I give you?”
Such a dangerous offer. If she’s not careful, I’ll take everything she has just because I can’t stand the thought of anyone else having any of it.
“Tell him.” I slide down the tub rim until we’re close enough for her to rest her head on my knee. “The media is one thing. I get that. We won’t go public until the tour is over, but Dub needs to know we’re together and that what he wants won’t ever happen.”
“I can do that.” She lifts her head and meets my eyes. “I’ll tell him.”
“I’m sorry if you think I’m overreacting, but—”
“I don’t.” Her short laugh bounces off the bathroom walls. “While you were in here taking your minute, I thought of how I’d feel if some other girl kissed you. I’d respond the same way.”
“Really?” I never think of Kai as jealous or possessive, but I like it. A lot. It’s nice to not be alone in this.
“I’m yours and you’re mine, right?” On her knees she crosses the space between us until she’s between my legs, her elbows resting on my knees. “No one else gets to touch you either.”
She claims me with a look before leaning in to add a kiss. Maybe she means for it to be quick, but I can’t let her go. My hands at her hips urge her closer. I deepen the kiss until we lose minutes in one another, our lips clinging, hands clutching, breaths catching. The thought of someone else tasting her like this sends a chill across our passion. I’m chilled another degree when the image of Jimmi naked in my shower a few weeks ago revisits me. If I’m expecting full disclosure from Kai, I can’t give her any less.