“But I love him.” I swallow my tears because Bristol doesn’t strike me as a girl who respects any sign of weakness. “And he loves me. I have to believe that will be enough. That the way we love each other will be enough.”
“Do you have any idea how special he is?” Her voice is quiet, her eyes probing mine.
“Of course I do. He’s a genius.”
“Not that shit. He’s a good guy. With all he’s been given, somehow he’s managed to be a good guy.” She shrugs her slender shoulders. “Probably Uncle Grady’s doing.”
“Yeah. He’s a good guy.” I twist my lips. “A great guy.”
My guy.
“Don’t hurt him again.” Bristol lifts her lashes, her eyes a blunt warning. “Look, I want to trust you, but then I find out you fucked the guy who hates Rhys more than anyone, and that you hid a sex tape for three months. Not exactly endearing.”
“I know it was bad judgment, not telling Rhyson.”
“It was bad judgment fucking Drex.”
She’s not saying anything I haven’t told myself a million times, but it still feels like she’s a sword that just drew first blood.
“Yes, it was,” I agree. “But Rhyson and I hadn’t even met when that happened. The thing I most regret that I could have changed is keeping this from him for weeks. I never wanted him to see that tape.”
I pause, studying the marble floor and gulping back shame.
“I know you didn’t watch, but you know what’s on it. Can you understand how desperate I was for the man I love to never see me that way?”
“But he has, right?” Bristol asks. “He watched it?”
“Yes.” I look her right in the eye. “He saw it.”
“And yet he’s still racing off to handle this for you.” She licks her lips and lowers her eyes to the coffee in front of her. “He still loves you.”
“We love each other,” I say softly. “I don’t know how long it will take him to forgive me for lying to him. I don’t know how long it will take him to trust me again, but I’ll wait.”
“I can’t promise you that I’ll trust you anytime soon.” Bristol gives me frank eyes. “You may think I’m cold and that he’s just my job. Hell, sometimes he thinks that, too. But he’s my brother, Kai. I’ve seen that he’ll always choose you, protect you. I hope you understand that I’ll always choose him. That I’m here to protect him.”
And just like that I like her. I mean, we’re still from different worlds. She may never be the girl I grab a mani/pedi with, or tell my secrets to, but she loves Rhyson. Deeply. And that we have in common.
“Bristol, you say that Rhyson chooses me every time. I promise you that I’ll choose him every time, too.”
She stands to dump her remaining coffee in the sink and to grab her purse.
“You better.” She looks at me unsmilingly for an extra few moments, and though she doesn’t crack, her eyes soften just a little. Just enough. “Well, you heard him give me my marching orders. I’m gonna go. I have work to do.”
And she’s gone, eyes already glued to the phone that seems to hold the solution to any problem Rhyson ever has. She’s Rhyson’s fixer. Makes life smoother. I don’t think I appreciated before how very good she is at it. I want to ask if she can fix Rhyson and me, if there’s anything on that phone that will fix the mess I’ve made, but I know that’s something I’ll have to do myself.
What will it take to repair the damage I’ve done to our relationship? To our trust? Last night he wouldn’t stay with me, but this morning he asked me not to leave. This stasis, this space between his love, which I don’t doubt, and his anger, which I deserve, feels like a lifelong sentence, even though it’s only been a few hours. Rhyson lasted months with my anger and my silence.
I’ll give him no less.
IT’S NEVER BEEN THIS QUIET IN the car when it’s just Marlon and me. We find something to talk about all the time, even if it’s just Madden high scores or our music. He knows how I feel about Kai and how much I hate Drex. So a sex tape featuring the girl I love and the man I despise . . . yeah, I’d be at a loss for words, too.
“So did you watch it?” He finally drops the question into this vat of boiling silence. “The tape, I mean.”
I’d rather have the quiet than this conversation.
“Uh, a little bit.” My grip tightens on the steering wheel. I almost smile when I think about the first time Kai sat where Marlon sits now and told me her name was like my Porsche.
Kai Anne. Like your car. Cayenne.
From the beginning, she always made me laugh. If I’m a safe, she cracked me day one, and we were friends before we were anything else. We were friends when I wasn’t sure that was all I could settle for. And we trusted each other with secrets we’d never shared with anyone else. How did that happen so quickly? So deeply? I want that back more than anything. She figured it out for me, and as much as the lies hurt, I’ll figure it out for her . . . eventually. But first I have to eliminate these threats.
“Have you thought about what you’ll do if it comes out?” Marlon asks.